New here. And very scared.

[Jon]

Hi. I'm Jon and I'm 16 years old. I've been emetophobic since I was 8. Everyday I have a Panic Attack, and I constantly feel sick. I always think I'm going to be sick. Everytime I go somewhere I get really bad anxiety, and I have to leave. Idk what to do anymore. The fear went away slightly for a year or so... But then last February I took a pill and didn't eat anything with it, and got sick for the first time in 5 years. Ever since then the fear has been worse than ever. I'm really depressed all the time because nobody understands me. My parents say I'm just paranoid, and I'm losing friends because I'm affraid to do anything outside of my house. It's ruining my life. I don't know what to do. I'd appreciate any advice.
Thanks

[andee]

Hi Jon,
I have been where you are and also at 16...It really sounds like you need to talk calmly to your parents and tell them about your anxiety at least, so that you can get help for this. Don't let it escalate any further. Start with your regular doc, but he should refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist for help and medication. It does wonders...You at least need something for the anxiety and then go from there. I know it's so hard, but you can get help and start feeling better. Also, if you have one good friend who you can talk to, that would be great as well. Take care and keep us posted...believe me, it can get better!!!

[Jon]

Hey andee. Thanks for the reply. I just now had to come home from a friends house because I was having a panic attack. It's really scary. I'm still nauseous right now : /

[EarlGrey75]

Hi Jon,
Andee's right on-- your pcp is a great place to start. Sometimes a med can help control the anxiety so that you can deal with the other problems. I've had great luck with Lexapro--it knocks out the bad stuff but doesn't make me groggy. I'm still me...
Here are some thoughts you may find helpful, or at least encouraging. I speak only from my own experience and don't claim that other people agree or feel the same, but it's usually good to get perspectives from many people then see what you think..

You're not alone and please don't give up--your life doesn't have to be like this. I've had emetophobia since I was six and I'm now 35, so I understand what a long and scary road it is. You're absolutely not paranoid. You're not crazy or weak, and it's certainly not your fault. My guess is that your phobia began with a childhood illness? (Like many cases, mine began after a particularly bad stomach bug when I was 6, though it's taken me years identify the source.) Phobias often begin with a traumatic or frightening event. In the course of that event, your brain learns to respond to the offending trigger with an exaggerated fear response. What you have to do is retrain it. There is nothing mysterious, mystical, or magical about it. There is no fantastic miracle cure and no fabulous pill. Retraining your brain takes work and time, it's not always easy, and sometimes it seems like you take a step back for every step forward. But the only way out is through, and you will feel so proud of yourself every time you do something you never thought you could, even if it's just getting up in the morning. Your quality of life can absolutely improve.

After years of trying to deal with my emetophobia, I finally feel like I'm on a good, progressive path. I'm not "cured" at this point. I'm not sure if I'd use the word "cure" anyway. But I am healing. My thinking patterns are changing, my confidence is growing, and I am learning a new way to be. I have worked very hard, and I still have a lot of work to do, but my quality of life, my outlook, and my sense of everyday joy are vastly improved. For the first time in my life I actually believe that I will gain the upper hand over this terrible phobia. I have felt so much pain and fear over the past 30 years that I want more than anything to share what I've worked so hard to learn with people like you. Please don't give up hope.

I'd imagine everyone's path to understanding and healing their emetophobia will be different depending on personality, circumstances, age, degree, etc. Here are some things I've found particularly helpful that you may want to consider or look into:
- It helped me to learn more about the physiology of the human brain and how it works, especially concerning anxiety and anxiety-related disorders. Research has been done fairly recently on the role of the amygdala in anxiety, as well as how the brain reacts to fearful situations. PBS aired an interesting show about the emotional brain on 3/29/10 in which they addressed phobias. Dr Joseph Ledoux also wrote a book called The Emotional Brain. I'm sure if you start googling some of these keywords, lots of info will come up.
- Recent studies have shown parallels between phobias and post traumatic stress disorder. This information led me to research PTSD treatments in hopes that something might work on my phobia. As it turns out, a therapy called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) has had measurable and encouraging success in treating PTSD, and is starting to be used on phobias and other trauma-related disorders. Doctors are exactly sure what about EMDR is working, but reliable, respected studies have shown that it has a good success rate. It is also endorsed by the US Dept of Veterans Affairs and the Dept of Defense, the UK Dept of Health, and other upstanding bodies. Check out emdria.org I've been undergoing EMDR treatment since last spring and I've found it to be absolutely the most helpful method so far. And best of all, it's not scary at all--it's fairly relaxing for the most part. But please, please--if you pursue EMDR--find a well-respected, certified, professional psychologist or psychiatrist. There are a lot of schemes out there. EMDR is real and helpful, but not everyone who says they practice it has had the appropriate training. EMDR--in combination with cognitive behavioral therapy--have been very helpful for me.
- Find yourself a therapist who is knowledgeable and experienced in treating anxiety disorders, and specifically phobias, if you can. Many take insurance, some don't. The most important factor is to find someone who you feel comfortable and who "gets" you. I've worked with a few psychologists over time, and I've finally found one who gets my problem, gets the way I think, and who has been brilliant at working through my phobia with me within the context of my own personality--my own strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and experiences. He believes in me even when I don't believe in myself, which has been a tremendous help in itself.
-Learn about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Working with a therapist who can help you make your thinking and behaviors healthier is a must.
- Look into meditation. Much to my surprise, it's not a new-wavey, hippie, mystical thing at all. It's simply a way of becoming familiar with your self, your mind, your body, and what's going on with all of them. It's relaxing, and practicing it helps you gain more awareness and control over what your mind is doing, which helps when you feel it start to race off into that terrifying darkness we've all felt when the phobia kicks in. The more you get comfortable with and familiar with your mind and body, the more attention you pay to it, and the more you can influence what you're doing. I've learned to stop panic attacks mid-way through, which I never thought I could do. It takes a lifetime of practice though, and I've a lot way to go.

Sorry this is so long, but I hope it's somewhat helpful. DO NOT GIVE UP. Your quality of life will improve if you are willing to work at it. And "working at it" isn't necessarily scary--it's just not a miracle cure. Connect yourself with professionals you trust, and don't listen to anyone who tells you you're paranoid or overreacting. Emetophobia can be debilitating, but there are ways to heal. Hang in there. You're not alone.
Best of luck!

[Jon]

Hey EarlGrey75,
Yes, my phobia started when I was 8 years old. It was Halloween of 2003 and I caught a stomach virus. I remember being "scared" of Vomiting when I was younger, but there was something about that stomach virus that really scared me. I think it was because nothing I did stopped the Vomiting. I felt like my body was out of control. Ever since then I've been sick maybe 3 times. But last February was the last time, and before that was in 2005. Whenever I have these Panic Attacks I start crying and breathing in deep. I can't stand the build up to Vomiting, especially when I realize that it's going to happen. I don't know what to do. I'm having a Panic Attack now. I'm sweating, shaking, and y mouth is getting dry. I know nothing is going to happen, but still I'm TERRIFIED! I just want to cry.

[EarlGrey75]

I've absolutely been where you are right now. Many, many times. Listen, you are going to be fine. I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but you need to trust those who have been where you are. You need to get some help from a doctor--I really can't emphasize this point enough. In the mean time (like right at this minute) close your eyes, put your head on your knees, and listen to yourself breathe. I know it doesn't sound like much, but do it. Focus as completely as you can--this takes discipline--take a slow breath in, pause, slowly breath out. Do it over and over again as long as you need to and really focus on how it feels to breathe in then out--how your chest expands, how your lungs fill, how it feels when your muscles push the air back out again.
On Monday you need to contact your physician and start down the path of getting better. See what the doc thinks about anxiety meds so you can get off the panic attack cycle--I know panic meds are tricky for teens--but they will probably be able to do something to help you get off the vicious panic wheel.
Only you can start this process, but you absolutely can and you won't be alone. First step is to break the panic cycle and stop feeding the monster so you can deal with everything else.

[Jon]

I think I'm starting to calm down a bit. I just feel out of control. At the worst point of the Panic Attack it's like nothing in the world can calm me down. But when I am actually sick, I realise that it's not as bad as I think. But the next day the fear is back. I'm still shaking and sweating, but I'm able to sit and not pace around the house. It comes in waves, every feeling in my throat or in my stomach makes me panic.

[EarlGrey75]

Glad you're feeling calmer. Everything you described is so classic emetphobia, by the way. I hope knowing you're not alone helps. I had virtually the same sort of beginning experience as you by the way--the really bad stomach bug when I was little--getting sick many times and feeling out of control and that no one could make it stop, not even my parents. Personally I suspect that emetophobia so commonly starts in childhood because children aren't well equipped to handle those "no one can save me" and "I'm out of control" feelings, especially if they are rather sensitive by nature. It's important for children to feel that someone like a parent can save them or make it better, since they are so little and vulnerable. As we grow up we naturally develop skills to handle scary situations and we learn that we can handle things on our own. But if something terrifies us and develops into a phobia when we're very small, it's hard to teach your brain otherwise. I've lived with this phobia for so much of my life that I sometimes feel like telling my brain not to fear vomiting is like trying to tell it that a "chair" isn't called a "chair." Nonetheless, studies have shown that if you can change the way you think you can change the way you feel, and brain scans support that concept. I'm starting to feel it myself, bit by bit, which is encouraging.
Be good to yourself. Get some rest. And try to find a doctor, school counselor, or school nurse who will listen to and support you. Hang in there. This experience will make you a wonderfully supportive and sympathetic friend to others in need, but first take good care of yourself.

[Jon]

Thanks. I've noticed it always seems to be worse at night. I think because of the times I have been sick were at night.

[andee]

Hi Jon and EarlGrey, I totally agree with both of your posts. Mine started with a bad flu when I was 10 and the doc gave me medicine with codeine in it. Apparently I was allergic because I was sooo sick. That is what triggered my fear, and I am 40 now!!! I had a ton of ups and downs, 2 hospitalizations for not eating, and sooo much anxiety. I am also on Lexapro with good results, and I take ativan when needed...usually just a little on some nights when I am anxious. But happily, I am married with 2 kids and am doing well. I have a very supportive hubby who understands this fear to the best of his ability.
So Jon, things CAN and WILL get better! Hang in there and get the help you need...I really think you need to address your anxiety first and foremost. Take care!!!

[Jon]

Hey. Sometimes I think that maybe being sick isn't so bad. I build up some confidence and think "Maybe I can do this." But as soon as I get that "feeling" in my Stomach that I'm going to be sick, all the confidence goes away. I start panicking and crying, I feel like I'm going to die. Last time I was sick "February 8,2010", I did everything I could to prevent it. I dealt with the Nausea for about 6 hours. Then finally I just knew it was going to happen. The weird thing is, I didn't really panic. I was thinking more about where I was going to do it. When I actually did it I felt proud and shocked at the same time. Then I though "Maybe I'm over it now?" But when the Nausea came back a few minutes laster I panicked, I managed to keep it down that time. But all through the next week I wouldn't eat anything or even think about food.
It's very scary, and every day I worry if today's going to be the day.
I wish I could stop worrying.