Working a Full-time job with Emet

[bitsybabe]

I would like to know if everyone has been able to hold down a full-time job with Emet. How has it effected your job? Do you miss a lot of work?

I have been suffering with emet for 31 years but have continued to work full-time although have missed alot of work. I have had a lot of different jobs throughout that time but have never been fired for missing too many days however at my present job, which I've been working at for over 5 years, I have recently been written up for missing too many days. Now I have to have a drs. note if I miss anymore and am terrified I might lose this job. I have never told an employer of my phobia and usually just say I have a virus or something when I call out. But there are days when the phobia is worse especially in the winter time when there is alot of sicknesses going around. And on top of that this year there was a pregnant girl who had major morning sickness and I couldn't handle it. She sometimes couldn't make it to the bathroom. So what do you do? Do you tell your employer and chance getting fired because you can't do your job or just continue to call out with a drs. note? That could get expensive. And the dr.s office or emergency clinic isn't the place I want to be when I'm already anxious. Any ideas on how to handle this?

[wargerbil]

I've not had a problem holding down a full time job. I've also not had a problem going to college and grad school full time, and for my MSW I had full time classes, 16 hrs of internship, and 8 hrs of assistantship. With my PhD (which I'm still working on! ABD though), I had full time classes, and a 20 hr/wk assistantship.

My last job for the past year+ (which I just quit the last week in January!! New job starts Monday) has been doing home based counseling and case management. That was pretty hard with my emet because 1. I had to out and about all day in other peoples' homes; 2. I never knew what I was going to walk into (e.g. "oh yea, we were all up puking all night" *facepalm* variations of this happened all the time); 3. A lot of homes were filthy and smelled bad; and 4. On top of emet, I have severe chronic nausea and gastritis from an intestinal superinfection I had a few times. TALK ABOUT A FUN COMBO KIDS!

I absolutely don't mean this as a criticism to other people on the boards, but I think I'm in a different place than a lot of people here because I don't let emet be an excuse for me. I go to work every day because I have to go to work every day. I don't let NOT going to work be an option for me. I have to be really freakin' sick to call out! That said, there have been some occasions where I've gone in thinking "oh my stomach will even out as the day progresses" and it just didn't, and those days I either rescheduled my appointments and did paperwork in my office, or left early if I really couldn't take it. I find employers are more sympathetic if you come in, look terrible, and leave early than if you just call in. They tend to think you're taking "mental health days" if you don't even try.

My new job should be easier on me -- my hours will be flexible, I should be able to work from home sometimes, I won't have to leave the office, I'll be in a building with 3 other people, one of whom is a very close friend of mine. I also can accrue up to 32 days off a year, compared to my 5 allotted sick days (no vacation) at my last job! But still, mind over matter - I tell myself "You have to go to work because you have a mortgage to pay and cats to feed. Nothing bad has ever happened at work. If you go to work and you really aren't feeling well, then you can leave and come home. You're an adult, no one can stop you from leaving if you need to, but you have to go to work, people depend on you, and you have to go" and I go.

[olschesky]

i totally agree with wargerbil.....i have worked full time for over 40 years......i totally make myself go to work even when scared.......i set goals......tell myself i'll go to work for a couple hours and if i am not better then i will leave.......99 percent of the time i feel fine once i get to work and get busy........some days it's really hard....especially this time of the year........but just remind yourself that good hygiene is your best friend.

i'm kind of glad that not having to work is not an option for me.....i feel i would be pretty housebound if i didn't have to force myself out the door every morning.......

set goals and try to keep them

[Rebecca85]

My case is a bit different, because I am phobic about others, not myself. Having said that, I have chosen an 'interesting' career working in a school with young children. Yes, they do v. Yes, I panic. But I try and look at it as a learning experience. I 'dare' myself to ask a child sat outside the office how they're feeling. I make myself choose whether I'm going to help the child, or clean the mess. And by doing that, years ago I managed to stroke a child's back as he dry heaved. I also read him a story while we waited for his parents to arrive. Unfortunately I have taken a few steps back since then, but that is where I want to get to again.

On a slightly related note, I have a chronic illness that often results in me feeling below par at work. I also play the 'just 10 more minutes game'. I'll just stay 10 more minutes and if I'm still feeling bad I'll go home. I'll just wait 10 more minutes and see if my tablets kick in. As a result I have only used 1 sick day- and that was because of a cold! So the game does work.

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

Every job I have ever had, right from the time I was a kid with a part-time job, there has always been someone vomiting for some reason. That's life, I guess. Before I developed emetophobia, this didn't phase me because my brain hadn't yet learned to link vomiting with the same kind of terror associated with someone holding a gun to your head and playing russian roulette.

Then emetophobia set in... hard. I couldn't hold down a job. Like you I would miss so much work, not because I was actually sick, but because I was panicking so bad over others having.... whatever. Whatever was going around (or I thought was going around).

It's a personal decision whether or not you tell your boss. In retrospect, I think if instead of giving my employer the impression that I was "sickly" and unreliable with all the time I took off (because that got me fired anyway!), maybe had I been honest about this "medical condition" maybe just maybe one of the employers might have been sympathetic and worked with me so that I COULD continue to work without my phobia being triggered every day. Doesn't mean the employer would have allowed me to take off however much time I felt I needed, but maybe some changes could have been made.... like moving my desk to a more isolated part of the office or something. Know what I mean?

So my advice to you is, if you keep this up you're probably going to lose your job anyway, right? So why not take a chance, be honest with your employer... see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised. I bet there are some employers out there who they themselves struggle with this.... or someone in their family does.

[crd08]

Yeah, and having a job has actually helped me. I just work at a crappy min. wage job fast food job because I'm a college student, so I don't really get sick days or anything. We have to have a dr. note or we get written up, so I only miss when I am legit sick. I'm so busy at work I hardly have time to feel anxious anyway. It's go to work or risk getting fired and not having a job. Not having a job means I can't pay for school, gas, or going out with friends. That means I am stuck at home 24/7. And that just results into sinking further into my phobia and fears.
I'm really impressed with how well I have handled working. I was worried how I would do.

[bitsybabe]

It's not that I've missed tons of days, just gone over my 6 day limit for the rolling year. Some days it's just hard to get up and face the day. I had to quit school when I was in 11th grade because I couldn't handle the panic attacks and being couped up in a classroom with so many kids not know what was going to happend. My phobia started in 9th grade. That year I missed 69 days of school but passed all classes except one which they let me make up in 10th. Some days I had to have the bus driver drop me off at a gas station and call someone to pick me up because the attacks were so bad. Of course that was in the 70's, bus drivers would never do that now. I became a little agoraphobic after I quit school but finally managed to get out and try a technical school to finish school. Came really close but then the anxiety took over once again and I had to quit. I have worked mostly full-time since I was 18 years old. It's been rough and mostly have to force myself to go to support myself as my husband left 3 years ago after 20 years being together. I have not dated due to the fear of meeting someone that gets sick easily. Anytime I go out with people I have to drive myself in case I have to leave. My ex knew about my phobia but anytime I was faced with an anxious situation he'd just say "oh just get over it, you can do it". He really didn't understand. Very few people in my life know about this and I'm really stressing about meeting someone and having to tell them.