Survived my son's first sv - barely

[Beathedog]

Well. That sucked. I knew it would happen eventually - as he's almost 4 - but of course it had to happen on a weekend that my husband was away. Friday evening I was getting him ready to take him to a play at our local elementary school. He had just eaten dinner and seemed hungry when he ate. So I was getting his stuff together and he was in his room, when he came out and was drooling saliva... Instantly knew what was coming and told him to go in the bathroom. Seconds later I heard him v* but I could go in after him. Then it happened again. And I'm so ashamed to write this, but I guess this is the one place I can... I ran out of the house.

I had grabbed my phone and started calling my sister in law, when I saw my neighbor outside and told her what was going on. She ran over, ran into the house and put my son's clothes in the wash and cleaned up. Then she had to go to the play (that we were going to).

My son seemed OK. He was crying in the house while I was outside, but by the time I came back in he was back to playing with his Lego's. I just knew I couldn't be alone with him, so I started calling people to come over. Eventually, got my best friend's husband, who lives a few blocks away and he came over, but not before my son had v'ed again. This time I cleaned it up. Oh god.

My friend's husband stayed with us until my sister-in-law was able to come over and then she looked after him (he v'ed one more time) and then he fell asleep. But I knew I couldn't be alone with him, so she actually took him to her house. Isn't this awful??? I had to send my own son away while he's sick??? My husband came back from his job early and picked him up at around midnight that night and brought him back here. He slept through the night, with no more v'ing, and was sluggish but ok the next day. And now he's perfectly fine.

I, however, am a total wreck. It feels like PTSD. I can't stop shaking . I can't stop replaying the first part of it in my head... the sound, the mess. And I can't forgive myself for running out of the house. I haven't slept or eaten in two days. I'm waiting to catch what he had - even though, I've obsessively cleaned and washed my hands, I feel like I still smell it everywhere.

It's like a nightmare that came true. But only for me. My son is absolutely OK... why can't that be enough?

[ashley11]

I know exactly how you feel. Just last month we had a birthday party for my daughter and 22 out of 30 people that were here got it. I only had d* but everyone else had both. I did the same thing, I ran out of the house. My oldest daughter went home with my parents that night and my father in law had to spend the night and take care of my youngest because my husband had come down with it too. I could not handle it. I wanted to leave and not come back for a week! I have had this my whole life, but since last month is when it has become almost impossible to deal with. I hope that you are doing better. It is nice to see that we are not alone! Good luck!

[Nipajaai]

I understand completely.