As far as I know up until the age of 13, I viewed V*ing in a healthy way, it never bothered me although I didn't like it. When I was 13, I was diagnosed with depression, and I have a feeling the emetophobia began at the same time. Anyway, I am veering from the point, it seems that at the start of a new relationship I don't feel N* at all, therefore my emetophobia seems to lie dormant until roughly six months in then it's back with force.

Lately I have to admit, my emetophobia has become a lot worse and it's becoming harder and harder to cope, I haven't slept properly in months, there is a SV going round my town so I don't want anyone near me, and I live in house with people that can't practice basic food hygiene, so I don't even want to eat in my own home, even if I scrub everything, I am always scared that one bit will be left over and will make me ill.

I think that my emetophobia flares up when I am stressed or worried.

But sitting here and thinking that this is what the rest of life is going to be like, makes me wonder if it's even worth it.