Found The Root Of My Phobia!

[Cupcake x]

After a lot of denial, I have finally figured out the root of my phobia. To make a long story short, my parents divorced when I was six and shortly after that my mom moved to England for 10 years. Everytime I would have to get on the plane to go there with her, I would freak out and get extremely nervous because I thought I would be sick on the plane. Before all this I never had a phobia of being sick. I think the whole reason I have the phobia is because I associate being sick with so much negativeness in my life. It reminds me of my parents being split up, missing my mom and not being able to see her, and then later in my life, dissapointing my dad when I didn't feel good by not letting him comfort me and chose my mother instead. I actually ran away from his house in the middle of the night to go to my mom's because I thought she would make me feel better. Very bad decision because my dad woke up the next morning to my empty bed and we didn't speak for months. Our relationship has never really been the same.

Anyways, I posted this in the success section of the forum because I feel like it is a success for me. The fact that I know where my phobia is from makes me feel like I have more control over conquering it. I can concentrate on fighting the uncomfortable feelings it gives me and re-direct my thinking. I've never been scared of vomit because I think I'll choke or die or anything like that. It would just give me an internal feeling of uncomfortableness and brought back bad memories for me.

[Blushes]

I'm glad for you! You've overcome a milestone. I know it's hard for many people to pinpoint why or how they've gotten the phobia.

Much like you, I've also lived with emetophobia since the age of 7 (and I'm now 23, so that's 16 years) and it was only recently that I've discovered my phobia is rooted in separation anxiety. Because I always wanted my mom to be there for me, I felt exposed, vulnerable, and like no one would be there for me if I became ill.

We all cope with our fears in different ways. In my own way, taking what I know about the beginnings of my emetophobia and learning to become independent in various tasks helped me to cope with my fear. Take what you know from your experiences and use it to your advantage. Your ability to see yourself in a new light is a sign of recovery.

[Cupcake x]

Thank you for your reply. Sounds like we had similar situations.

I'm excited about this step in my recovery because it's something that I discovered on my own without the help of therapy or medication. Which makes me think that everything else is totally possible

[kellybeth]

Everything else IS totally possible. Just remember that. Keep up the good work!!

[Cupcake x]

Thanks Kelly : )