I'm new to the site, I stumbled upon it while trying to look up information on another issue of mine (I swear I'm full of them) and I'm really.. I'm glad that there are places like this out there.

I'm pretty sure I'm emetophobic, but really until I found this site stumbled upon website I didn't even realize there was a name for it or that the symptoms that I've felt were so common with this disorder.

I'm 24 now, but when I first became emetophobic the internet really wasn't as big as it is now, so I think it's great that newer emetophobes have sources to look to and can realize "Hey, I'm not crazy, this is a REAL condition."

I've had a lot of trauma in my life and when I was younger I was always very leery of pregnant women because of the morning sickness, but I honestly couldn't tell you what first triggered my condition to become as severe as it did.

I was in middle school (somewhere between 11 and 13) when I first started showing signs.

I stopped eating anything but bread and water.
I wouldn't go out to eat with anyone, not even my closest family members (my mother and brother)
Eventually I refused to go out at all.
Except (unfortunately) for school which was probably the most agonizing time of all. There were days where just getting on the bus was a battle. It would make me nauseous because I was so anxious about being sick in front of someone.
I'd spend all day in school nauseous and anxious about what would happen.

I never really said anything about it but even though there were obvious signs that SOMETHING was going on with me nothing was ever done for me. Nobody ever tried to help me or even figure out what was wrong with me.

Not that I'm holding a grudge against my mother. At the time we were going through our second divorce to my step dad and we were barely holding our heads above water.

But it was just so frustrating to have no where to turn and no one to talk to or understand what I was going through.

HOWEVER. YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS!

I hate to sound cliche, but there really is hope!

I was in a really bad place, but at 24 I'm proud to say I'm soooooo much better than I was!

We moved twice after my emetophobia first became noticable and it wasn't until a year after we moved into the second house and began settling into a quieter life that I met a friend I wanted to hang out with and do average teenage activities with.

You know.. go out to the mall, eat pizza in the local Italian restaurant, spend time over her house without being a panic thinking "HOLY SH*T what do I do if I get sick here?! I can't vomit in her house!"

I started working on it little by little. First we'd go out some place near to my house and I wouldn't order anything. Then I'd order something and take it home. Then I'd order something and eat a bite or two until I started to get anxious and nauseous and then I'd stop and we'd leave.

Until eventually I could actually sit out with her and eat and feel relatively normal. She never really said anything about it, so it happened so gradually that I never even noticed until after I was already finishing a whole slice of pizza.

It really has been super slow progress.. but I'm at a place where I feel like being an emetophobic isn't hindering my quality of life so much anymore. I can go out to eat with my family and friends and spend time in public places and feel alright.

One summer when I was working with my mom she told me a trick: if you feel nauseous, run the inside of your wrist under cold water.

It's little things like that, that I use to help create comfort zones for myself so that I feel safer in whatever situation I'm in. If I start to feel anxious/nauseous I'll spend some time in the bathroom running my wrist under ice cold water until I can't feel my skin anymore and I always feel a lot better. I'll order sprite or gingerale, which usually settles my stomach. I try to control my breathing and stay calm.

But it's still hard, I'll admit. If I get sick I will spend hours pacing in my downstairs bathroom until I either feel okay enough to go back to bed or something finally happens.

I still don't want anyone to hear me or know. I still don't want to be around anyone while they're vomiting. I still cry and tremble and hyperventilate if (god forbid) I'm stuck in a situation where something like that happens. I'm careful about how much alcohol I drink and I avoid people who drink until they get sick. I don't understand why people do this and it scares me.

but these things happen so infrequently these days that I live my life fairly normally.

I even went to visit my friend in England two summers ago, which is something I NEVER would have been able to do back when I was a teen.

So don't feel discouraged by this condition. Take it day by day, a little at a time.

I hope this is encouraging to some of you out there. <33
Live strong guys.