Not coping :(

[Tasha'93]

I havent posted any threads in a while and that is including any 'panic posting' like I had done previously but today has not been so good, shall we say.

Any slight feeling of nausea and it tends to set me into panic mode and nothing much can bring me back into being rational, but for the past two weeks or so I thought I had been doing really well when feeling nauseated at just ignoring it, well, not ignoring it as such but not allowing myself to get into a panic like usual.

Today i've felt really off, stomach churning (not because i'm hungry, i've been eating frequently throughout the day, small bites) and the feeling as though I need to go to the toilet but nothing is happening (sorry for that!). It's not like my usual nausea feeling though and i'm starting to freak out a little, I really REALLY dont want to be sick. I messaged my friend who is usually good at making me think rationally and I asked him how he was getting on, in which he replied that he had been vomiting all day.. which as you can imagine, made me feel a lot worse

I just dont know what to do with myself tonight, I probably wont end up sleeping at all. Has anyone else felt that for a period of time they were doing really well at keeping their panic and nausea under control and then finds it only takes one or two little things to bring you back down again?

[leigh123]

I know exactly how you feel

With me, I'll be so under control, then one morning I'm slightly off, and boom. It's back. The moment everything becomes somewhat perfect, I come crashing back down again. One of my biggest triggers for that happens to be skipping breakfast though, so I'm very careful to always eat something in the morning. Because if I miss one breakfast, it could take weeks for me to feel okay again.

Anyway, if you're watching this thread, how are you feeling now?

[orton99]

Hi Tash, sorry to hear you've been feeling stressed and hope you're better now.

However, in answer to your question, yes, this does happen to me and unfortunately I just think it goes with the phobia in that if it's still there and untreated then these sorts of incidents are going to keep coming because that's what this phobia does.

For example, I was okay earlier last week, right up until I heard that someone I work with had been off the previous day with a stomach upset. Cue my taking myself off into a side office (officially I was merely exercising my right to do so as I had to finish off an urgent piece of work and needed peace and quiet, while unofficially of course...) and lots of anxiety. I feel a bit calmer now but did initially feel quite despairing on Thursday morning, wondering over and over "why these things keep happening. I was doing fine and now look!".

However, I'm self-aware enough to know that in truth "these things happen" all the time, but the key isn't that they apparently keep tormenting me but actually that my reaction to someone having recently been ill is what "keeps happening", not the incident itself.

It all adds up to being unable to wait for my first CBT session on Thursday! I know your first one is early next week, so try looking forward to that as something positive to focus on.

[Tasha'93]

Thankyou for both for your replies. I've been fine and havent vomited (as of yet) but the nausea is still there and my sister has had diarrhea today and it's made me even more anxious, convincing myself I have a stomach virus, but i'm trying my best to stay calm

Ah Andrew, I know that feeling too well. Being informed that someone you work closely with or are with day in day out is off due to being sick really is enough to drive you into a corner isn't it? I don't blame you for feeling like that, I suppose it's natural to have set backs & what not, but i'm sure you'll be ok & I know! I'm so glad for you, you've been waiting forever for this, havent you? So have I come to mention it, I just want this to go away, I dont care how long it takes!

- This hasn't really got anything to do with this thread, but I was doing a bit of research through google earlier on how to stop yourself vomiting naturally and there were a few on Yahoo with people answering with stuff like "If you're going to be sick, thats it, there is no way possible to stop it" and due to the mood i've been in for the past two days it just made me so angry and upset, I thought "who are you to say something like that, you dont know!!". I know that sounds a bit crazy and ott but it really got to me, I hate it when people say things like that as if they know it all.