My fear goes further back than I can remember. I have always been afraid of v*. I believe this phobia has led to other OCD's in my life. My only child is 21 years old. He himself became a father at age 16. He and the babys mother were not able to take care of the baby girl. She was so precious. I was absolutely petrified that permanent care would fall to me. I struggled tremendously raising my own son with this phobia. I planned and pre-planned everyday of my life so I could minimize the outside contact of viruses. It is a very hard thing to do without offending other people. My son knew I was unable to raise another child under the same conditions that he was raised. In raising my son he was constantly in the doctors office if I even thought he was sick. I would make my husband go with me and keep in the car until they called his name. I stood outside the door watching for them to call us so I wouldn't catch anything either. I was embarrassed by my own behavior but I did it anyway. I was constantly feeling my son's forehead for fever. I constantly asked him "do you feel bad?" He would get really angry at me for asking so many times in one day. I understood his anger but I did it anyway. I would not let him go alot of places for fear of exposure. His entire childhood was lie this. And the few times he was sick, I could not go to him and my husband had to. I could not go to him even if he called for me. I could not go to him even if we were the only 2 people in the house (only happened one time when he was 11, thank God). Back to my sons child. I am having such a hard time with this guilt. I know my son is suffering and I can't help him. He says he dosen't blame me and that he understands, but I think he's just being kind. I hate this phobia. It has cost me everything.