New and a bit panicked about the future

[randall3329]

Hi all, I was a member on this site a few years ago, but left because I found that at the time reading all the v stories on here made my fear worse. I thought i'd try again as I am working myself into a right state over my daughter starting school in September. I live in uk and until recently, children born in spring started school full time in spring - my daughter falls into this catorgory, but now i have discovered they have stopped this "staggered" intake and will now be started in september, right at the start on winter when my phobia peaks. I already have a 7 year old at full time school and was in such a state last winter that some days i just couldnt send her incase she bought home any nasty germs. She had so much time off school over winter that school welfare got involved so I cant keep them at home this year or i could be fined or imprisoned, even though i keep up thier education when they are off school. I am so scared for my sanity and I dont really know what to do once september gets here. They have only ever had 1 sv which i managed to avoid 4 years ago so as the years go past I get mmore and more worried that it will soon be "our turn". Anyone else had this situation and been able to handle it much better than I have been?

[cinque]

I don't think going longer without an sv* makes it more likely that you'll encounter one - I think perhaps some children are less prone to picking them up. I really feel for you - I know it can't be easy anticipating the start of school etc. I don't think having two children in school would double the chances of an sv* coming home, by any means. Have you ever spoken to your doctor about your phobia?

I think encouraging good hand hygiene in children is probably quite helpful in avoiding nasty bugs. I know that's possibly a bit of a controversial thing to say because we shouldn't impose our habits on others, but a good routine is to wash hands before eating, after using the toilet and when arriving home. I'm sure you've already got a good routine of that sort anyway. Wet wipes (Sainsbury's do a toddlers wet wipe which contains benzalkonium chloride which deals with viral particles) in the lunchbox/school bag might be handy to use before lunch; when I was at school they often seemed not to have soap in the toilets which is appalling!

Loser - it is extremely encouraging to hear that your child didn't catch sv*s at school

[randall3329]

Thanks for your comments. Its so frustrating because I try so hard and it makes me feel like I am failing as a mum, although the eldest has still managed to maintain top of her class while she has been off school so I must be doing okay keeping her up to date. I do try to push all the hygine rules and my 4 year old is really good with it but my 7 year old has a habit of putting her fingers in her mouth and it really freaks me out. I have been having CBT for 2 years, obviously doesn't sound like it is working for me. I know my thinking is probably irrational to any other person than an emet, its got worse since I had children, always constantly on edge.

[DanniPaff]

HI, I am just new here. I live in Australia and let me say I am so glad I found this forum as I thought I was one on a kind, I thought there were no other people like me. So just being here is wonderful therapy for me already. I am a 35 yo SAHM and have 3 kids. One of which is at school. I won't put my 3 year old in kindy because I am worried about him getting the stomach bug. My 6 yo is at school and I worry because its winter time and the stomach bugs are more prevalent. 2 kids have been off sick with it this week already and today I struggled with logic vs fear whether to send her or not. I do not want her to pick up the bug too. Last time my daughter got sick and v I panicked and had ti run away. I feel so guilty that I left her in her time of need but I literally could not control my panic. I then had to bet my husband to look after her, I couldn't see the v or look at it and even even hearing her v made me get lumps in my throat and I couldn't breathe. I am a compulsive hand washer, I won't go to public toilets in case of getting germs. My daughter puts her fingers in her mouth alot too and this worries me! I make her wash them straight after school but then worry that it is too late and she already has germs. I am so glad I know what is wrong with me now, but I am scared to use the CBT as it makes you confront the very thing you are afraid of....besides I dont think any counsellors here would know what emetophobia is!