Emetophobia and anorexia.

[evanderburgh]

I am a 21 year old woman and I have been dealing with emetophobia as early as I can remember. I have been extremely obsessed with avoiding v* at all costs throughout my entire life. It's a very difficult phobia to live with and it is detrimental to many aspects of my life. Every single day of my life, I have at least one moment of panic that I am going to throw up. Writing that last sentence actually made my heart race a little bit.

I constantly avoid situations where other people might throw up and every time I am in public ( a party, the movie theater, school, work) I am scanning the crowd for someone who looks like they may get sick. Many of my friends, family and past relationships have been very misunderstanding of my phobia. Many people think it's not a big deal at all and that we should simply "man up" for lack of a better term and get used to looking at it or doing it. As you all probably know, this is not the way.

Around the age of 16 I started constantly checking the expiration dates on every single thing I consumed. I would never take a medication that listed nausea or vomiting as a side effect, and I despise movie theaters (I still can't see a movie in theaters after watching a man v* in a movie I had the worst anxiety attack of my life) and carnivals and amusement parks.

This obsession with making sure my food was clean, and had not gone spoiled, slowly turned into anorexia nervosa. After a while, I couldn't eat anything. I was too afraid that if I ate, I would throw up. I was diagnosed with anorexia in 2007 and I have been working on it every day since. I do not have body issues and I have always been pleased with my appearence. My anorexia formed as a direct cause of having emetophobia.

I now weigh 92 Pounds and I am 5'3''.I still have very bad eating issues. I scrutinize the taste of everything to make sure it hasnt spoiled and often times I can not finished what I have started eating because I will think too hard about the ingerdients and what in it could possibly make me sick. It is a struggle for me to look at food everyday.

The emetophobia has slowly turned me into the pickiest eater I have ever met. Most days, I will look in my fridge or cabinets and I can not even fathom the idea of eating any of it. It's like in the back of my mind I'm constantly thinking "what goes down, might come up"

This past winter I began smoking weed again, after taking a 2 year break. It GREATLY helps my anorexia. In fact, Almost the only time I can bring myself to eat is when I smoke. I now smoke every day morning, afternoon and night and I eat a LARGE full meal right after. The downfall of this is that sometimes my paranoia that I might throw up is intensified by pot. But this is very rare.

I just wanted to post this here because I was hoping that other people would have similar cases to mine and I would be able to talk to someone that has gone through the same thing. Until I discovered this site, I was scared that I was the only one with extreme emetophobia. It honestly gives me hope, to see how many other people are going through the same thing as me.

[patricksgirl32]

I don't smoke.weed. but I do smoke cigarettes. My bf smokes weed and it relaxes him although he doesn't have emet. The only problem I see with that is drug tests for possible career choices and addiction. Its VERY costly. But I feel you I have bouts of anorexia as well I just recently lost 15 pounds this month because I stopped eating. The way I look at it now is If im.gonna throw up anyway I might as well enjoy a meal. Besides having something to throw up is ALOT better then dry heaving. If you need any help don't hesitate to PM me hang in there. I was at the same place and I am also 21 so you have a friend in me <3

[asqueenqs]

Depending on which state you live in, you could probably get a medical marijuana license for your anorexia. If it helps, go for it. A license shouldn't be too hard to get.

[gumdropper1]

Just a little factoid/tidbit: anorexia means "lack of appetite" whereas anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder. Anorexia is a very common symptom and is perfectly normal in a lot of contexts, most frequently just having eaten.

[tabster]

OH wow I thought I was the only one this happened to well actually it got better after I went on antidepressants. I think it helped me not be so anxious and worry all the time about it. Although those first few weeks on the antidepressants were horrible cus I read v* is a side effect and I almost didn't even take it. But yeah I was never *diagnosed* with anorexia but there were a few months there where I couldnt eat ANYTHING and it got very bad. I try to make myself eat even if I don't want to, because I think if you don't have food in your stomach for awhile then your stomach feels bad when you try to eat.

[JessalynV.]

I've never had it get that bad, and I hope you get better . But I know what you mean, about people thinking its retarted. My parents think It's just me being silly, but it really isn't! It drives me CRAZY! That's why I joined here, because it made me realize that I'm not alone, and all the things I do to avoid it isn't stupid. Anyways, I wish much luck!