Hey everyone, just venting here.

Last night I had an anxiety attack thinking about going to work today. I work in a preschool (I just started) and it's really testing me. They told me I had to start changing diapers, something I had been avoiding because not only is it disgusting but I"m scared of the germs. So last night all I could think about was today that I would have to go in and be dirty and germy. Also, my therapist told me to wash my hands less, which I have been doing so this is also making me nervous. I panicked last night, and my usually comforting and understanding boyfriend actually laughed at me. I'm horrified, soon I leave for a week trip with him and now I'm nervous about that too because he isn't even understanding anymore it seems. Today I woke up nervous, and I feel like no one understands. Work is in an hour and I don't want to go in at all, but I know i need to fight this and not let it take over my life. But still it seems so easy to let it. This monster is trying to take everything I love, it's slowly ruining me.