Hi everyone:)

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I thought I would introduce myself to everyone and tell my story and how I became Emetophobic

For me it started when I was studying dance at school, I had to take a bus to get there. One day I got sick on the bus, and it was horrible. Everybody was looking at me and I felt so humiliated, dirty and in the way. But I managed to get over it, until it happened again two weeks later. Then I got so scared I couldn`t take public transportation anymore, and after a while it escalated in to me not being able to leave my house in fear of getting sick in public again.
I knew why I got sick on the bus, I was exhausted and my body couldn`t take anymore. I would dance up to ten hours a day not eating much and then going home to binge and make myself sick not to gain weight.
(yeah I`m a bulimic with emetophobia-makes my head spin too )

Anyway, I gave up my dream, quit school and moved to get therapy. I have been in therapy for almost three years now, but my therapist thinks that the reason I am scared to go outside is because I am scared of people. I`m not.

I haven`t told her about my phobia, so for three years I have been treated for a disorder I don`t have, because I`m to embarrassed to tell her what my actual problem is- being sick in public.

It has completely taken over my life, and I don`t know what to do anymore. The relationships I have is being ruined little by little and I just feel like giving up sometimes... all the time. It is so hard!
I get severe panic attacks and I don`t even know who I am anymore.

So yeah, that`s me, trying to get my stuff together

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Might as well use my own thread to complain in, so I don`t spread the negativity
Yeah so I should have had my first driving lesson today, I panicked and stayed at home. Sucks so bad!
In my country you can`t get your license until you are 18, and when I was 18 I had already moved to a big city where I didn`t need it. Well now I live in the middle of nowhere, so I need it.
It is a year waiting list, and I just managed to save up the 7000$ that the license costs, and now my phobia is in the way.
Man, emetophobia sure fu*** everything up doesn`t it...

[Curves]

Yes emetophobia does f* everything up if we let it. For me, driving actually helps because I feel in control behind the wheel. Much better than taking public transit or being a passenger in another person's car or walking. What is it about the phobia that's getting in the way exactly? Maybe you can break it down into manageable goals to work on in the year you're on the waiting list.

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I imagine that I wouldn`t have a problem with driving myself, I just feel panicky when I am "trapped" in a car with the driving teacher (or anyone for that matter) and I am prone to getting car sick anyway, so I can`t imagine that it will be a pleasurable experience. And how am I supposed to learn anything and avoid killing anyone when all my focus is on not throwing up on the poor teacher and his car, can`t imagine he would be pleased if I did that
The one hour lessons I think I perhaps could get through, but we have a obligatory city test, where we drive for EIGHT hours in the city.

I should have worded myself differently in the above post, I have been on the waiting list for a year, I just got in a month a go