Hello everyone! I am a new user on this site and I am so overwhelmingly glad to have found it. It helps so much to know that I am not alone and that the way I think is not as uncommon as I initially would have guessed. I want to tell you al my story and I want to try to make it short and sweet.

I was diagnosed with Anxiety/Panic Disorder and have been taking Zoloft and Risperdal to treat my panic attacks and my irrational thinking. They combination was doing the trick for me for sometime and then I started to forget to take my medications every day. I would go four or five days and then realized that I had not taken any medication. I started to tell myself that if I just started to take the medication again as directed it would make me sick,m so I stopped taking them all together. The panic attacks came back full force and I just recently found a new doctor and have been placed back on the same medications. My panic attacks are MUCH better now, but I find myself still having the irrational thoughts that I had before all focused around vomiting. My mother told me she looked up the phobia and discovered it had a name and many people suffer from it, just like I do. I was so relieved when I found this site!

This past summer I really haven't been doing anything besides sit at home because I feel I need to be near my bathroom just incase I get sick. I stopped eating as much as I used to. I will occasionally sleep in the bathroom that is connected to my bedroom because it calms me to be closer to the toilet. I am hesitant to go to my friend's houses because I am afraid I will have to vomit while I am there. I am afraid to go for long rides in the car because I don't want to have to be sick while on the road. The fear is constantly there, no matter what it is I am doing and it really wears on me.

I am starting my first year of college in the fall and I am going to have to take the train every day back and forth to school. I am horrified because my mind automatically goes to "What if I have to be sick on the train?" "What if I get sick at school and I have to run out of the classroom?" I guess I was wondering if anyone else feels the same way as I do and how you work through it?

Thank you SO much for reading, and I hope for peace for all of you!

~Mariah