I've been browsing this site for the last hour, and keep thinking "That's me!" Maybe to a lesser degree than some, but there is no doubt in my mind after reading all this that I have emetophobia. Prompting the search that led me to find this site is the hell I've been living the last few days. My son woke up vomiting Thursday morning and was sick all day, and I've been in a virtual panic attack ever since, waiting for my daughter, husband, or myself to get sick too. My ultimate fear is that I will get it. I find myself obsessing about it, I can't sleep, my heart can't seem to stop racing, it's horrible. My husband did come down with it today, and I find myself back where I was on Thursday, just when I was starting to feel better. My heart keeps racing, I feel shaky, I've barely eaten the last few days, which then makes me nauseated, which then makes me not want to eat - vicious cycle! I just want a week to go by without anyone being sick, then I can feel better.

I suppose that's how I may differ from some others on this site is that it's not a constant fear for me. The real panic is just if someone close to me is sick. Other than that, I'm not overly germophobic, I don't wash my hands constantly except as necessary for work. I am able to be a preschool teacher without too much obsession about how the classroom is a petri dish. But thoughts of my problem cross my mind everyday, even if they don't result in full blown panic. I'm definitely more ok with vomit if I know that it was caused by something not contagious, though I certainly don't like it. And since my husband was at work when my son was sick, I had no choice but to take care of him and the clean-up, and I could do it, I just felt sick all day. But I really don't want to live with this fear anymore. I love my HMO, but I have a feeling they wouldn't be good at this, and I can't afford out of pocket. I'm not sure I'm ready to make the next step, though I'm not sure why not. Anyway, thanks for listening to the random thoughts of a woman with a house under seige...