Im so fed up with f-ing emet

[baseballplaya12]

Again for the 4th time in a week ive come in contact with someone who
was sick...i was talking to her and she tells me that she ahd the stomach
flu yesterday..so now im panicking because i have this dance that i am
supposed to go to with my girlfriend and really dont want to dissapoint
her by getting sick...Im not too freaked out that im going ot get it i was
just talking to her...but i reallly dont wanna miss this dance and i also
don't want to get sick...I REALLY AM STARTING TO THINK I NEED TO GET
SICK EVERYONE IS TELLING ME THAT ITS NOT THAT BAD OR NO BIG
DEAL...I THINK I NEED TO REALIZE THAT FOR MYSELF IM SO F-ING
SCARED THOUGH...UGH I HATE THIS SO MUCH AND IF I HAVE TO BE THIS
WAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY....

[SimplyMe]

Aww, i'm so sorry. It must be soemthing about today. I don't think you caught anything from her, you wold have to ingest the virus and since it wasn't your g/f you werent kissing or anything so you should be fine. This phobia does get pretty old pretty fast and is extremely frustrating. Hang in there and just have fun at the dance!

[confused]

I understand how you feel! There are so many times that I wished I didn't have emet. I think you will be fine!! I highly doubt that you will get sick from talking to that girl.One timeI accidently drank out of a coworkers cup who had just gotten over the stomach bug. I spend a whole week freaking out and not eating and I never got it andI drank out of her cup! Try to relax and I'm sure you'll be fine. Oh, and getting sick/making yourself sick isn't always the answer. I have been an emet my whole life and I have v*ed and it has NEVER helped me to get over this phobia. It might actually work for you, but it could also make you worse so be careful.

[baseballplaya12]

i know i wouldnt give myself ipecac or anything but i think a VERY mild
stomach flu might do the trick...last time i v'd i remmeber telling myself
that it was no big deal and i was perfectly fine for 3 years..and now im
worse than ive ever been and i dunno waht to do anymore...I HATE EMET
AND IM KILLING IT NOW...THERE IS A WAY TO BEAT IT AND IM GOING TO
FIND IT AND IM GONNA FIND IT NOW WHATEVER IT MAY BE....im in cbt
but from what ive been reading its not gonna cure me its just going to
help me cope i guess....ugh i dont wanna cope i wanna not be scared
when someone else is sick i wanna shrug it off...i wanna say hey if i get it
i get it, its a few days off school anyways...WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO BE
NORMAL....Edited by: baseballplaya12

[jennyleigh1975]

Honey, you are normal. I am sure that in every other way, you are a normal teenage boy. Excuse me, young man.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] You just have a phobia that is not as comonly discussed as say, a fear of heights or bridges. Would you consider someone not normal for their fear of one of those?

Im sorry you have had such a rough day dealing with this phobia.

[baseballplaya12]

i hate to be so negative but i am not normal...this stupid phobia has
made me depressed 24/7...my friends all don't understand why ive been
so down lately and my girlfirend who knows just wants me to be happy
and doesn't understand why im not...If it wasn't for this stupid phobia i
would be the happiest kid in the entire world i have everything else going
for me and this stupid phobia just keeps pulling me back...but im in
therapy and im ready to beat this FING STUPID PIECE OF S***
PHOBIA...sorry about that i just had to get it out...i feel like i wanna throw
something i am not going to accept that i will have this for the rest of my
life...i couldnt help thinking today what my life would be like if i never
had to v again...AS I SAID BEFORE I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST KID IN THE
WORLD I HAVE EVERYTHING ELSE GOING FOR ME...MY GIRLFRIEND IS THE
MOST AMAZING PERSON I HAVE EVER MET AND I LOVE HER...BUT I HATE
TO SAY IT BUT SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN ME...SHE DESERVES SOMEONE
WHO CAN WORRY ABOUT HER RATHER THAN V EVERY SECOND OF
EVERYDAY...IF IT WASNT FOR THIS THAN I COULD DO THAT I COULD BE
THE PERSON I WANTED TO BE I COULD BE EXCITED ABOUT COLLEGE LIKE
ALL MY FRIENDS...I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS STUPID PHOBIA TAKES ALL THE
HAPPY THINGS IN MY LIFE AND MAKE THEM SEEM INSIGNIFICANT....I NEED
TO BEAT THIS AND I NEED TO BEAT IT NOW...I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU
OLDER EMETS WHO HAVE SUFFERED FOR SO LONG...I HAVE FELT THIS WAY
FOR 2 MONTHS AND I AM ALREADY SO FING SICK OF IT THAT I JUST
WANT TO BREAK SOMETHING....IS THIS A GOOD OR BAD THING THAT I
AM SO ANGRY AT EMET...???

ugh sorry about that guys i just had to get it out i cant do this anymore
its ruining my life...

[jennyleigh1975]

Dont feel sorry for me, I do not let this phobia control my entire life. Yes, it IS something I think about everyday. Yes, I do still freak out when I hear about someone being sick, or when I know that "it" is going around. I just refuse to let this beat me down.

[baseballplaya12]

i know and thats good of you but i dont want to do this anymore... and
for the rest of my life its not how i wanna live and im not willing to
accept emet as an inevitability

[confused]

...I HAVE FELT THIS WAY FOR 2 MONTHS AND I AM ALREADY SO FING SICK OF IT THAT I JUST WANT TO BREAK SOMETHING....IS THIS A GOOD OR BAD THING THAT I AM SO ANGRY AT EMET...???

You've only been an emet for 2 months? or am I misunderstand you?

[baseballplaya12]

No i have only been obsessive for 2 months ive had it as long as i can
remmeber i never liked when someone else was sick but its only been bad
for 2 months....

[confused]

oh ok,I thought 2 months didn't seem right.I hear how frusterated you are, I hope that you can actually get over this phobia. I have come to the point in my life where I realise that I have had emet since as long as I can remember and it's probably not going anywhere anytime soon, soI am slowly learning to cope with it. There have been points in my life where I have been screaming mad about this phobia just like you. I remember being in the grocery store and feeling kinda sick and the anxiety getting intense, and I just turned to my fiance and told him i wasn't feeling well and that I was starting to freak out and that I HATED MYSELF because i knew i was fine and just freaking out and for once I just wanted to be normal!!! He tried to calm me down. I was so angry because I wanted to buy food and not freak out.


Speaking of significant others- have you ever told your girlfriend about emet? You should if you haven't. Oh and I can relateI used to feel thatmyfiance deservedbetter than me. For a while I would tell my fiance that he deserved better, someone who wasn't afraid to travel, fly on planes, go to parties, be in crowds, go on amusement rides, etc. But I realized that he loves me and I love him and we deserve each other, even with this stupid phobia.

[baseballplaya12]

no she knows she hates that she cant help and was actually crying about
it tonight...she really cares about me and that makes me feel good..

[baseballplaya12]

And if youre happy accepting emet than all power to you but im not
gonna do it i refuse to

[2jo2]

Oh I hear you, I've been many times in the place emotionally you're at right now. I'm tired of it taking a front seat to absolutely everything in my life. Anytime I think about any activity, I always think first and foremost how it will be emet-wise, and I'm tired of it being like that. My life is great, all except for the emet. But it's front and center!!!! I HATE it!!! I hate that I can't just go out to eat, go over to anyone's house, travel, go shopping, do all these things without worrying about washing my hands and wondering who's been sick. It sucks, I know, but we will get over this, I'm determined to leave it behind too. You're on the right track to get cured, but there must be something else to this phobia, something deeper than v'ing, because you remember that last time it wasn't that bad, you remember that! So why isn't your brain listening and believing you? If you can find that reason, I think you'll have it beat, whether it's getting your brain tothink rationally or whatever. Sorry for the rambling...

[confused]

It's great that she knows and wants to help. She sounds like a keeper.


It's not that I am accepting emet, I just know that I'll never get to the point where I'm 100% ok with the big V. But I do want to work at making my emet manageable, so I can go days without thinking about emet, and I can function more or less normally.


I really truely hope that you get 100% over emet!! I hope that you figure out exactly what will get you over being afraid, and I hope that you can be happy.

[ontariogirl]

Ok,You brought me to tears with your post. I understand the frustration, the depression, the longing to be normal. This is a rough phobia. When this phobia began I was 9 years old. Growing up for me wasn't normal. I would go to public school with no sleep, I bit my nails until they bled, I would cut my hair just to take my mind off of this phobia. Being 13-14 years old going to school having panic attacks acting like a friging nutcase infront of students and teachers, even the teachers thought I was nuts. I didn't know this was a phobia, hell doctors didnt know what was wrong with me. I didn't go on many dates because I would freak out! You have a girlfriend who loves you for who you are! She knows about the phobia and to me that is great, you have support right there. She may not understand the phobia like we do but man she is there. All of my dreams are down the toilet, I wanted to be a cop, a doctor, to meet that special man, to be married in a church my dad giving me away, to have a family, all of that is blown away, gone just like that! I have 2 sons whom I am very proud of and I am proud of myself that despite this phobia I am there when they are ill, I don't like it but I am a single mother and noone else is going to be there for them, I have my rituals such as cleaning the bathroom, spraying everything in site with lysol and praying to god that I dont get sick and not eating for days. You are young and you have a hell of future ahead of you!! You are seeing someone about this phobia, continue it until you are finished, youcan do it I know you can and I can guarentee that everyone on thissite knows you can! There are people on this site that go to college! Things will get better, believe me, I don't do things that I used to do to myself, I don't think of this phobia every minute of the day, your thinking changes believe me it does. I really think that how you expressed your anger towards this phobia that you should write it down on paper and take it to the person that you are seeing about this phobia so he/she knows your frustration and anger towards this. That is what I did, especially when my brothers kids were sick at Christmas I wrote down everything how I was feeling and took it to who I see, she noticed how peed off I was not only at my brother but at this phobia. Please think, you have a wonderful future ahead of you and nothing can stop you from fulfilling your happiness. I have faith in you!

[baseballplaya12]

how has therapy helped you?.....My main problem i think is that
subconciously i want to like v and i know that can never be true so it
scares me and makes me more nervous...i need to believe that this will
get better and that i will not feel this way forever...my dad is EXTREMELY
chlostrophobic so he knows exactly how i feel...we had a good long talk
tonight about my phobia and about therapy... i think he has a little emet
in him too which might be where i got it from...but he reassured me that
my family has really good genes and we dont v very often...we talked
about therapy and my goals and his expirience with his phobia...i dont
mean ot be cocky or anything i just am feeling good at this moment, i
have a lot of people in my life who support me and understand and i hope
you all can have that as well..Edited by: baseballplaya12

[ontariogirl]

I am glad that you have support it makes it much easier. I didn't have support when I was young. I had no idea that this was a phobia until 4-5 years ago! I tried the therapists and for me right now I have to find the right one, sort of like finding the right dentist, like I finally did. I believe my therapy was having my own place with my kids. I had to deal with things in my life head on. Having an ex who was a dirty dog helped me grow stronger within me. I hate this phobia, we all do. When my eldest son was living here with me there were times when both my kids were sick and I just hated it, I wanted to leave, I called my mom to help because I couldn't handle it. Now my eldest son is getting ready to go to college and my youngest one is here with me everyother week. I pray that if he gets sick that i hope it happens while at his dads. I would love to vomit, that day when I had to go to my parents because I felt so sick I was telling myself to be sick, just let go and I thought that way for a bit but the light turned on and said fight the sucker!! I know that I am not going to die from vomiting, you puke and your fine. I have to wrapped that thought around my little brain. You know what? You are going to be fine, you have your support system, all the people in your life who love you, your family and girlfriend, you have it, continue with therapy, not happy with that one find someone who you feel comfortable with. Copy the thread from Sage for the doctor, get the help, you have a wonderful and bright future ahead!!!

[skinnyme]

Baseballplaya... Im so sorry and I do feel your frustrations... but I do have to add this, and please don;t take it the wrong way... You say you have been feeling your worst about this for 2 months now? I noticed your sign up date to this site was Jan. 1st... thats 2 months... Do you think maybe this site has caused you more anxiety? I know al ot of us are afraid to admit it because we feel a sense of safety being here with other emets, but I think alot of us feel more anxios at times coming here. Just a thought.

[emetojackie]

I think everyone here can relate to how you feel. No one enjoys having emetophobia and we all want to get rid of it, but its a day by day battle. Its a horrible, horrible thing but its copable, as we can see from everyone on here


If you ever want to chat don't hezitate.. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[baseballplaya12]

This site has made it much worse i was never even close to this bad thats why i am leaving and i have no idea why i am here now this place is like a drug and im trying to get off but its so hard....

[madisonsmom]

You know...I think I have been exposed. Yesterday someone who has had it (a 3 month old baby) coughed in my face. My sis in law had it last night and said "Oh its not that bad". UGH!


Hang in there! I need to get it too!