New to this and never been sick!

[rgarton]

Hello, I've been suffering with Emetophobia for a few years now but since last year it has literally controlled my life and i don't know what to do or where to start.

I've never thrown up, not even as a child. I'd bring up milk as a baby, but only for four months and after that apparantly never happened again. My younger brother on the other hand throws up all the time, it doesn't bother him in the slightest. My mum rarely throws up, not even when she was pregnant, only with off food.

I'm now 22. I'm petrified about throwing up. When someone even tells a story about their experience of throwing up, (even me writing this!) i get a cold sweaty feeling down my neck and spine and get shakey. It seems ridiculous! I'm literally house-bound and make all the excuses in the world not to go anywhere, and if i do anti-bacterial hand gel at the ready.

Last year i got a stomach bug, the first one ever, it lasted for about 6 hours, the shakey, cold hot thing, upset stomach, but i stood up from lying down and gagged, and i went to the bathroom because i thought this was it, i got into the bathroom and nothing happened, just the sweaty cold feeling remained, after lying still and sipping water i went to sleep and felt fine the next morning. After this i became insane about my immune system, hygene etc. Unfortunatly as well after that fateful day, i started to become really tired, along other things, and soon realised i had very severe Coeliac Disease, confirmed with blood test. An auto-immue disease. They say it'll take at least 2 years for me to recover. which doesn't help my anxiety at all.

I now don't leave the house unless in a car to somewhere very close to my house. I don't touch door handles, people, I clean the house with anti-bacterial spray everyday. I'm on a waiting list for therapy but i think i also need to find like-minded people.

Has anyone else never thrown up? Or even got their own experience to share? Or any tips?!

Thanks so much.

[struggles]

I'm the oddest emetophobe because unlike the others I'm s* quite often, usually at least once every month. It is bizarre because I've been through it before but I still hate the feeling you get just before you need to v*. My phobia is also a lot different in the sense that I don't worry about becoming ill, I just always have this scary idea that I will be s* and because of it I get n* when doing my day to day activities.

Meal times are hard, so is going to uni and meeting friends. But what's particularly hard as an individual is meeting my bf. I hardly ever see him now. I even cancelled on him today because I had panic attacks and couldn't bring myself to leave home. Now I'm in bed when it is almost 4pm and am just sat feeling sorry for myself!

I'm still fairly new to this but I've learnt that every emetophobe is very different! Hope things start looking up for you soon.

[cinque]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're going through this. I have been sick, but I do think there are a number of other members on here who never have. I am guessing you are in the UK because of the way you write, although I may be wrong! Do you feel you've had enough support from your GP over the coeliac thing? I'm surprised he or she thinks it would take two years for you to feel back to normal - it seems quite a long time! I thought perhaps the average was more like six months - I know it's not curable as such but I think people can be symptom-free when avoiding gluten - am I correct? Are you getting on okay with a gluten-free diet?

Struggles - sorry you had a disappointing day. It's horrible when anxiety ruins plans! xxx

[struggles]

Cinque- I know the worst part is that it usually takes a few days to pick yourself back up and start being brave again. We still coudn't meet up again so rescheduled for another day. (I'm from the UK too) xx

[rgarton]

Thank you for your replies.

Yes i am from the UK I dont feel i am taken very seriously when i try to explain my fears and anxietys. I have spoken to several different doctors and no one has given me much support.

The only reason it will take 2 years is because of the severity. Most people with blood work to test for coeliac disease, the percentage to be considered Coeliac is 12-17% and mine came back as 89%, the highest any of my doctors, dieticians anyone has ever seen. Along with my anemia and other problems its going to be a while. Sucks! Gluten free diet is fine by me, i dont have any toruble with it, or my soya and tomatoe allergy Still have bad days though.

Struggles-I hope your next day to meet is 100% better than before.

Thanks againx

[lauren37]

u are taken seriously here i totally get the life controlling thing this controls my life also. and i havent been Sick* in a while so i feel it's my time ? ever felt that way or is it just me ? lol. but u will find lots of help here

[gumdropper1]

Welcome! I think we've got a couple of members who have never vomited. I also recall a message from someone recently who vomited this year for the first time ever. Here it is: http://www.emetophobia.org/showthread.php?t=29945

You are already very strong when it comes to not vomiting, in terms of regular nauseants. If you can make it through a stomach bug without puking, especially when you had no idea how to control it, you are very good.

The thing I don't know about is the celiac disease. I suggest reading about it online and maybe joining an online support group to learn what others' experience is. Obviously, though, you had the disease for some period of time before you were diagnosed and never heaved from it. So that makes me think you will be OK. http://www.celiac.com/

If you want some pointers on keeping from vomiting, please read my Vomiting FAQ: http://emetophobia.byethost15.com/vomiting.html

Doug

[struggles]

rgarton- thank you! 12 days after the failed date I attempted to meet him again (this was on Monday) and somehow I held it together and everything went so well walking out the front door was the hardest step.

Hope you've had better days since you first posted