No longer emetophobic (PLEASE READ)

[vixki]

Can you imagine saying that?
"I no longer have emetophobia"
Two years ago, I would have said no way could I ever said this.
A year and a half ago... I said it for the first time. I am not emetophobic.
What a wonderful thing to say, eh?

Let me explain.
According to my profile, I joined this website almost three years ago.
I was emetophobic, majorly so. I panicked at every twinge in my stomach - hey, every twinge in any part of my body, just "incase" it might lead to the dreaded throwing up. I posted countless threads here, terrified that what I called "it" was going to happen. I was housebound for fear of throwing up if I went out. I had an extremely limited diet. I washed my hands so much they were completely raw.

But - I have got rid of it. Completely. I have no emetophobia left at all.

How did I do this?

I had CBT therapy with a therapist on the NHS. I was classed as a child at the time and so had a therapist with the child services. He wasn't great - I didn't get along with him at all, but he taught me the basics of CBT and how to use them to get rid of a phobia.

CBT is all about doing what you fear.

If you want to get over emetophobia you have to do things that you fear.
This is not to say you have to throw up. No. You don't.
But, you need to correct the behaviours that you do to avoid throwing up.

Make a list of them. What do you do in order to avoid throwing up? Do you wash your hands a lot? Do you avoid eating in public? Do you avoid touching children? Do you hold your breath when you walk past public toilets? What else do you do?

These are the things you need to do to get rid of your fear. You are relearning to live normally.

You have to start slowly though. Small steps at a time. But definite steps.
Maybe start off with washing your hands ONLY after you go to the toilet and before mealtimes. Wash them the same as you usually do. But don't wash them at any other times. Do this for about 3 days.
Then. Wash them without soap. Don't use soap when you wash your hands. Do this for 3 days.
Then, you can just wash them with cold water. No soap, just cold water. And keep this up. It'll be scary... but the fear is good.


I'm not even sure if I'm making sense here. I'm not a counsellor, I'm not a great writer, but I'm giving it a go because I want to help you guys. I've been in the severely emetophobic state and it was horrible, and I'd love to help anyone get out of it, even just a little.

I think one thing that needs to be said is that fear is not bad. Fear should not be avoided. When I was on here I used to sometimes try and do things that scared me as "exposure therapy" - but try and distract myself from the fear whilst I was doing it. No. No no no. This is NOT good.
When you are doing CBT you need to actually focus on the fear. Your body and your mind need to know you are scared. You then learn that - yes, you were scared... but you are ok! You need to do the things you are scared of... whilst being scared. I'm not entirely sure of the psychology behind it, but it's kind of like you have to push through all the fear before you can get out the other side.
And it's hard, ohhh it's so hard. But it works! Its SO good not to be scared of throwing up all the time! It's so so so worth it. What is a few months of terrible fear compared to a lifetime of freedom from emetophobia?


One more thing.

Get off this website. Don't read the panic threads. Don't post the panic threads. Don't look up avoidance techniques here. Don't don't don't.
I'm sorry and I hope it's ok to post this here. I have nothing against this website in principle, as a support group for emetophobics, cos it's a very unknown fear and it's nice to know you're not alone - but NO. This site serves almost solely to reassure people.
Know this: When you post a thread saying you are scared about ____ and someone posts saying, don't worry ____ isn't going to happen - you just fed your fear. You just made it stronger.
I quit using this site a year and a half ago and I can honestly say it was the BEST thing I did for my emetophobia. It was hard not to constantly come on here and post a panic thread - but it got easier. And I didn't have all the negativity of constant panic that is here. I didn't reassure anyone. And I didn't get reassurance myself.
Reassurance is dangerous, because whilst it may seem to allay your fears... it actually reinforces them. It gives you a need to get people to say "no, it's ok"... and you REALLY DON'T NEED THAT.
Trust me on this... this site, although I loved it for a while... it kept me in my fears for much longer than I should have been.


Anyway. I've written a lot here and I'm not entirely sure any of it can help - but, I hope so.
If anyone has any questions or anything, reply here or drop me a PM and I'll try to answer.

Hope this helped.

Good luck to you all



(PS, for anyone interested, I'm not anxiety free completely, I still have severe social anxiety but am working on applying CBT techniques to it. It's extremely hard and I'm having a pretty hard time a the moment, but I'll get there eventually, I know it)

[Woof]

I don't think I'm going to EVER be able to say I'm not an emetophobic.
It's just not possible.
That lurking, terrible, feeling and possibility will ALWAYS and FOREVER be there.
Washing my hands is my ONLY way to curve it.
I wish, oh BOY do I wish that I could be emet. free, but goodness gracious it's never gonna happen.
And it sucks. >.<

[ann32]

Your awesome Vixki so proud of you! Keep it up and agree 100% with what you say

[vixki]

I don't think I'm going to EVER be able to say I'm not an emetophobic.
It's just not possible.
That lurking, terrible, feeling and possibility will ALWAYS and FOREVER be there.
Washing my hands is my ONLY way to curve it.
I wish, oh BOY do I wish that I could be emet. free, but goodness gracious it's never gonna happen.
And it sucks. >.<

Honestly, I would have said exactly the same thing two years ago. Probably nobody remembers me here but, I was not just some girl who was 'slightly' emetophobic or whatever... it was a serious serious thing, it had ruled my life for a long time and I felt like I'd never get rid of it.
Washing your hands doesn't cure it at all. Just makes it worse in the long run, believe me.
Don't give up, you can be free of it.

[kbscared]

I hope,wish and pray all who are emetophobic can someday be free of it....I'm stuck in it right now and feel I may never be free as Woof wrote but I'm doing cbt and affirmations with some guided imagery. Helping only very little so far but I won't give up!

[sage]

What a wonderful testimony and awesome advice!

[callahan]

I only wash my hands if they are honestly dirty. Like covered in dirt or smelly. Or if I've used a public restroom. That's it. I haven't *v'ed in a long time.

Washing your hands is a good thing- when they need to be washed. But washing them after every ounce of human contact, after every step into a public place, ect. ect... that's not doing you any good except feeding the cycle of fear.

And I thought I had a quote in here but it didn't work. I was quoting "woof"

[sage]

Woof - if you declare that it's not possible to be anxiety-free then you'll become a self-fulfilled prophecy. In the words of Justin Bieber: "never say never!"

I would not have thought it possible to ever recover either. My complete and utter terror and horror was triggered instantaneously whenever anybody even said something as miniscule as "I don't feel well." I would tear down the street at mach-one speed. Wherever I stopped I would be hysterical and crying and would refuse to go back to wherever it was. I always carried $100 taxi money! Anyway, I got over it. And you can too! It just takes hard work and commitment. And time. Nothing is a quick-fix.

[Cupcake x]

So happy for you! All the things you've said are right on with how I've been treating myself. Through therapy and learning not to avoid life, you will slowly but surely overcome this phobia. It's so great to see other people's success stories on here.

Another thing you're so right about is getting off of IES. I do still come in occasionally and give updates on myself and my progress as well as check in on particular members who I've become close with but overall, I find that the less I'm on here, the less I'm thinking about and feeding into my phobia. I used to be logged in 24/7 on my phone and would post and read panic threads all the time. Looking back it did help me but only short term. The next day I'd be going through the same thing all over again. Breaking the cycle can really help you progress forward.

Anyways, keep up the good work and I hope you're done with this phobia forever!! <3

[CocoTango]

That's a fantastic story! Well done - you've achieved my dream! aha! I'm struggling at the moment but I know there is a way out now. Thank you. x.

[Embramp]

Thank you so much for this post, just what I needed to hear I'm really happy for you and really happy that you shared this with the rest of us x

[overthere441]

I must say, great post! However...reading stories like yours is the main reason I come here - to read about others who have made progress as inspiration. And at times, to share my progress/experiences with others. But having read other posts, I agree that a lot are in the reassurance seeking category.

I really liked the end of your post, "what is a few months of terrible fear compared to a lifetime free from emetophobia." That basically sums up what I say to myself every day (doing CBT/exposure - for the second time), and during exposures (planned and unplanned).

Anyway, thank you for your post. It "reassures" me that, as awful and petrifying as it feels, what I'm doing now is worth it - encourages me to not give up.

Thank you!

[chris_alice]

I really appreciate this post! Congruatulations on your recover, Vixki - well done! Everything you said make a lot of sense, and you write very well. So thank you for taking the time to reach out and share. I am going to try to apply what you said to my life becuase I DO want to get over this fear, and I believe it's possible, no matter how bad it is at the moment. You're proof of that!

I really wish there were more posts of recovery like this one because that's the main reason why I joined this site too. I don't want to saturate myself with more negativity (I do that really well on my own, thank you very much LOL). I want to hear about success stories and learn from others how they have overcome.

Again, thank you for posting this. It gives me hope and courage!

[ibekirsty]

well done, do you think this could work for me? im scared of others being s*, anything to them saying they hav a bellyache to having a coughing fit makes me have panick attacks, im petrified to go to alot of places. ive been to councilling at it didnt work, they put me with a trainie and she was rubbish she just made me watch youtube videos of cats being sick. it helped for like a week, please get back to me ? well done again, your an inspiration to many xx

[Maddie-_-]

Im sorry to rack up such an old post, but for some reason it was the first one I read when I got on here, even though it is so old? I remember you saying not to go and read the panic threads, and oh gosh you were so right, but I got reeled in. I though it was as bad as it could get, but honestly, i was in bliss compared to now... Im so happy for you! Well well well done! I might give CBT a go, if hypnotherapy doesnt work out. Thank you for this thread

[shoppersophie]

Great advice. So happy for you. Hopefully one day we can all turn around and say we're not emetophobic, but it'll take some time. Will deffo try this

[llrwalker]

Great advice - and you are a good writer. I am a therapist doing research in San Diego. I need about 4 more people for my study (to reach 24). We are doing a trial of CBT for emetophobia - offering 12 sessions at no cost. If anyone is near San Diego contact me. There is more information about the study at vphobia.com.

[sagredocw]

thanks for sharing your story! it really gives me hope that maybe one day I can be emet free. I plan on looking for a doctor that focuses on CBT in my area.