Giving Up

[nicki]

I am slowly giving up the fight against this. Things were going so well and then bang out of nowhere it all starts up again and I just don't know what to do. Im not sleeping very well and not eating either. I very rarely get more than about 4 hours sleep and that used to do me fine. Last night i went to bed at midnight and didnt wake up until 11.30am and that was because my friend came round to see me. We went out for the afternoon and i felt shattered all day, we got home and at 6pm i went back to bed, and woke at 9.30pm when my alarm went off. I managed about 2 hours before i felt shattered again.


Most of this is due to anxiety, im too scared to go to bed at night cos im scared i will wake up and v*. But lately it is awful. I have had lots of early starts and right now i am panicking because for the next 4 days in a row i have to be up early which means a max of 4 hours sleep a night due to my anxiety at night.


My mum thinks i may be anaemic (she knows i am not really eating). My kitchen is disgusting as ive said before and i just cant bare to cook in there. It would explain the complete exhaustion i guess.


Im just in such a panic. Whenever i think about getting my uni work done, or the thought of all those early mornings, or the thought of living off cereal for the next2 and a half monthsi can actually feel the anxiety building up inside me.

[mitch4133]

I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. Have you been to the doctors? They could probalby prescibe an anti-anxiety, or a sleeping aid to help you get sleep at night. I use a sleeping aid, and it works really well. I really suggest that you try some. Most over the counter sleeping aids are anti-emetics too. I hope you feel better soon.


I went through a period where I couldn't eat, and I couldn't sleep too. Everytime I would eat, I would convince myself that I would be sick, then I would start to feel sick, then I would be up half the night with anxiety because of the thought I would be sick. But the truth was, my body was just so malnurished, that when I did eat, I felt sick to my stomach because my body wasn't used to the food. And I was on a cracker, bread and water only diet.


Nicki, I am concerned for you, and you really need to start eating. I know its hard, but if you don't you will do more damage to yourself, and your anxiety will only get worse. Just eat safe foods, prepackage foods, then you don't have to worry about the kitchen being dirty. Try and eat 6 small meals a day. That is what I do, and I feel so much better. And to tell you the truth, my anxiety has gone down way low, and I hardly ever feel sick before or after I eat.


I hope you feel better soon. Let me know how you are doing, just try and relax the best you can.


Michele

[emetojackie]

Nicki, have you considered maybe getting a small fridge for yourself and/or a microwave? You can get them quite cheap these days, and you can buy a variety of pre packaged food other than cereal, carrot cake, fruit bags, dried fruit, crisps, sandwiches etc etc etc - i'm sure I don't need to tell you


and as someone said before you could get paper plates and cups to use? Won't have to clean those up afterwards just chuck them away.. easy!


I know how you feel about being anxious and not being able to sleep, but at mitch said i'm sure your GP can perscribe you something to help out? Or have you tried those Kalm pills or Rescue remedy? They could help [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


I'll try think of some more ideas for you!!

[ontariogirl]

Jackie; I like how you stated for nicki to try Rescue Remedy! Hopefully I go into town and get some of that, I think that stuff is pretty good!! Nicki you should try that it really works. Put a few drops under your tongue and you start to relax. When I was younger I was going through the same thing Nicki, night time was the worse for me, usually around 5amI felt fine to go to sleep. Lack of sleep brings on exhaustion and with not eating properly makes you feel like you are dragging your ass. Try to get in to see your doctor to give you something. There are medications out there that you can take to help you sleep and you don't feel tired and groggy in the morning from the medication. Please go see your doctor.

[emetojackie]

Jackie; I like how you stated for nicki to try Rescue Remedy! Hopefully I go into town and get some of that, I think that stuff is pretty good!! Nicki you should try that it really works. Put a few drops under your tongue and you start to relax. When I was younger I was going through the same thing Nicki, night time was the worse for me, usually around 5amI felt fine to go to sleep. Lack of sleep brings on exhaustion and with not eating properly makes you feel like you are dragging your ass. Try to get in to see your doctor to give you something. There are medications out there that you can take to help you sleep and you don't feel tired and groggy in the morning from the medication. Please go see your doctor.

Yeah I think seeing your doctor is a good option.. and the rescue remedy, it does help - and so do the Kalm pills I hear.. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[SimplyMe]

What a good idea Jackie had about the mini fridge/microwave! Nicki please don't give up. I know it's very hard when you feel yourself spiralling down but it will get better! Unfortunately a side effect of emet is ups and downs w/ it so you will get back to things going good again it's just a down time right now. I think your eating habits probably have a lot to do w/ how your'e feeling. Living off of cereal can make any one feel blah and throw in emet and you have yourself panick attacks and sleepless nights. If you ever want to talk email or IM me. I remember going thru soemthing similar, where I just couldn't eat or sleep and it sucked but I got thru it and so will you. Also try buying some sort of fruit every day, even just one apple or orange or a box of juice plus they have those nutrition bars and drinks, just to get the vitamins and nutriants you need that you aren't getting from cereal alone. Hope this helps and that you feel better soon!

[nicki]

Im just having a really hard time lately. Around Christmas time I posted about my relationship with my bf and how bad it was. We were together 2 years 4 months and split up 6 weeks ago.


In the last 3 months that we were together I was convinced that he was seeing someone else, and also if he was knew who it was. He lived with all girls and initially encouraged me to get to know them. We all used to go out as a big group but all of a sudden (in November) he didnt want me 'tagging along' and hated me going around to his flat. I was convinced he was seeing this girl he lived with. I confronted him about it as soon as i suspected something was going on, or said that i could tell he liked her as more than a friend. He told me i was being stupid, and as i have ocd too he found a way to blame it on that, saying i was paranoid and just cos my dad had done it to my mum didnt mean every man was like it.


Around this time my emet got so much worse, as i was convinced my ocd had taken over my life and ruined my relationship. A coouple of weeks ago we started getting close again, altho it was always on my mind what may have happned between him and this other girl. We are sleeping together which i know is wrong but it makes me feel wanted. Its more than just sex though i feel like he really does care about me. maybe im just being stupid.


On monday he left his phone in my room. I got this urge to check the messages, which again i know is so wrong, but i had to know. I checked his email too. Sure enough there were the messages to prove that he had feelings for this other girl and had even asked her out while we were together (while i was 300 miles away at an interview for my teaching course).


Things have got worse since i found out about this. Fir some reason im not angry at him. I told him what i had done (read his phone) and expected him to come up with some thing about how i had no business reading them. But he didnt, he said he was really sorry, hugged me told me he never meant to hurt me, but he felt lonely. You probably think im stupid for forgiving him, but i was lonely to as we had drifted apart (which was due to this other girl) and if someone had shown an interest in me then i couldnt swear that i would have said no, but i know i would have broken it up with my bf first.


all of a sudden what i thought was ocd taking over my life has been shown to be false, i wasnt obsessing i was just picking up on the signals. Do you think this feeling at the moment could be some kind of emotional release. I dont know how to feel. I dont know if i should hate my ex-bf or not. he is being so nice to me lately, so caring. he says he doesnt want to get in a relationship with someone for ages, we still sleep together, kiss, cuddle and lay in bed watching films, go out every day together. I wonder if i am just a stopgap until he feels he is ready to get into a relationship with someone at which point i will get dropped. At the moment he has all the good bits of being with someone with no commitment. i accept it because I feel that somebody wants me. what we do he doesnt do with anyone else and i like that, i am needed by someone. maybe i am stupid and deserve to get hurt

[SimplyMe]

Hey, Nicki, next time we are both on Yahoo remind me to tell you something that is relatable to this.


BTW you are not stupid, you are human.Edited by: SimplyMe