small triumphs :)

[livepink]

I've got a few small triumphs to share they may not seem like a lot but I feel like I'm progressing a bunch!

First, this morning I was on my tumblr and I passed by a gif of someone v* quite a bit and it didn't bother me one bit, I did stare at it for a few seconds wondering why someone would post that but I wasn't scared, didn't get that overwhelming stabbing fear sensation you get, just nothing. I even saved it to my tumbr likes so that when I may be feeling weak I can look back on it. (if anyone on here has tumblr feel free to leave your urls !)

some other triumps I consider is at work (nursing home) I had to care for a patient all day who cannot keep any food down whatsoever and we are basically there to comfort her. The other morning she told me she was sick of feeling hungry and asked me to feed her breakfast. I did, with her basin nearby and was scared but was prepared for if it did happen. Another one of my patients got sick and I was outside the door and I heard the whole thing happen and it bothered me a tremendous amount less.

I'm still very much so afraid for if it were to happen to myself - but I'm more so afraid than if it were to happen away from home. When I'm home I'm still terrified, but more calm. However, taking this job in the medical field and being surrounded by contagious viruses was probably the biggest step I've ever taken. I'm not sure how I'll react when someone v* in a close proximity to me or the sv* breaks out, but I'm confident that hopefully if I keep challenging myself and proving to myself there really is nothing to be afraid of, I'll be able to overcome this.

[Cupcake x]

Congratulations on these progresses you've made! Those would be considered some pretty big steps in my book and you should be very proud. I wouldn't be able to be near someone being sick and holding the bin for them while they actually do it so you're inspiring to me to be honest. I'm just not ready for that yet.

And as for the picture on tumblr. The more you see those images, the less afraid you become. I'm starting to work on that in therapy as part of an exposure and the more images and videos I see of people being sick, the less it bothers me.

Congrats again and keep up the great work!