I feel like such a pain in the ass and such a burden that I find myself withdrawing. I feel so socially awkward because of it, and because I'm always so scared of being s*.

For example, food. Eating. It's a simple thing people do every day. Three times a day, I'm told. I've had problems with eating for the past 10 years, but the one problem that remains and refuses to go away is my fear of food. I never learnt to cook, I'm scared of foods I don't know, and I'm scared that what I eat will make me s*. As a result, I'm always asking people around me if what I've eaten or am going to eat is okay, if it is safe, if it will make me s*, if it's been cooked properly, etc.

I'm always asking if I'm going to be okay as well. If I feel unwell and can't rationalise it in my head, I'll ask someone (tbh, usually my mam or other half) if I'll be okay. "I won't be s* though, will I?" is what I always end up asking.

I'm always asking questions and seeing reassurance, and I feel so bad for it. I try not to, but I get so scared without some kind of reassurance (I worry like hell anyway, but not so bad as if I hadn't been told I'll be okay). I feel like a bad person, and that I'm irritating. I feels so awkward and just... ugh. I wish I didn't have to do it, but I can't help myself.

Anyone else out there know what I'm talking about and have any suggestions? I mean, my guy doesn't mind being there for me at all, and he's said he wants me to phone him if I ever feel I need to, no matter what time of the day... but I still feel bad for doing it and that one day he's going to get sick of me and snap at me =(