OT: Freaking Out!!

[princessmel]

I'm so sick of crying out to people and not getting any advice. So, I thought I'd come to you guys. Some of you know about my husband's computer addiction with the door shut. Of course, it bothers me a lot. Anyway, we got into this big fight in January, and I honestly don't know what I did wrong. All I know is that he was gone at work all of the time trying to make money b/c we just moved to FL. I was starting to get homesick, and I do admit to being a b**** to him. I don't blame him for yelling at me. I think I told some of you about him training one of the girl trainers at the gym which I don't like either. He told me he did stop training her, and me and him both got a membership at the Y, and he's been training me, and we've been working out together now. He has been moody, but I think it's from working so much. He doesn't come home late anymore b/c he builtup his clientele. He knows a lot about her, but they do work together everyday, and they probably became friends. Of course, I get jealous and think something's going on. Especially, being in a new place and everything. Anyway, he was on the computer all last week and this week he wasn't on it hardly at all. I find out that Dawn is on vacation this week. Plus, my friend is here visiting, but that didn't stop him from getting on the computerwhen my mom and grandma came to visit. I asked him several times about it, and he said he knows it bothers me, so he's trying not to get on it when I'm around, but I don't care about that. Everyone thinks that he is talking to her on the internet. She is married also. I don't know what to think. I'm just so sick of wondering. Sometimes I just want to run away. Am I being paranoid? PMS? Any advice?? Girls or guys. There's more to the story also, but it's just too long. [img]smileys/smilies_16.gif[/img]

[luckistar2]

Okay, I am a little on the paranoid side so others may give you more sane advice.


With that said, I know how to check the internet history on my computer and sometimes I do to see what my husband is up to. I don't know which internet provider you use but I would be willing to bet that no matter which one you use you can check the internet history.


I am using Internet Explorer right now and if you click on Tools, go down to Internet Options, from there a screen should pop up with a few different choices. Look under Temporary Internet Files and click on settings. Then click View Files. It will take a moment to load the files. From there you should get a new tool bar on the top of the screen. Click on Folders. Again, give it a second to load. A list of folders should pop on the left hand side of your screen. Click on History. From there you are click on any day within the last week that you want to see what was done on the internet and at what time.





Yes, it is crazy but maybe it will give you peace of mind. I usually find nothing and there is comfort in that.

[princessmel]

Thank you. I'll give it a try. I was doing it a different way, but I could have been doing it wrong. Thank you so much. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[kmarie]

Hey there..sorry things are so rough on you right now..it must be hard..being in a new place..and then having these issues.


First..i must comment on him locking himself in a room to look at porn while you are there...to me..its just horribly wrong. not that he looks at porn..thats normal now and days..my husband does it..heck i do to some times. BUT it is completely worng if your husband locks himself in a room to "enjoy" the porn..while you are there!! it is one thing if you are not home and he feels the urges..lol..but if you are there..come on..if hes horny act on it with you...or wait until you are not home..i find it rude and extremely disrespectful to you. My husband actually laid in bed and looked at a porn mag the other night..i was right next to him...he said oh im just reading this article..umm..ok...until i see him studying the centerfld and then i was like...OK I am right here..and thats really rude. I wonder what your husband would think of you locking yourself in the bedroom with a playgirl mag?


As for your hubby chatting..do you have any chat programs on your computer? Yahoo.. Aol... MSN? Do you use them? Or does he? i would try checking out the history..it will tell you if hes looked at sites ... but if hes tricky he can dump the history and most evidence on the machine.


Is it a necessity for you guys to have the internet at home? if not you could do away with it..but im guessing you want it for stuff like this site!! You could try setting it up so that you have to type in a password every time you get on-line. This is easy if your name is the only name on your account. You could call your ISP...have your password changes..set it so that it doesnt automatically save it..but if hes on the account he can just call and either get the password or change it ..but..its an idea...might make him mad though.


i guess the best possible thing to do is just sit him down and really be as honest as you can..say this is what i fear might be happening..i NEED to know the truth...even if it hurts me i need to know so we can work this out or move on.


another option would be a private investigator...


let us know how your doing!!

[jennyleigh1975]

I am not the most computer literate person, but I think that if he is chatting online, as in, using on of the messenger programs, if you dont know his password, then you wont know exactly who he has been talking to or when. You might could tell from the history that he has be on one of the messenger programs, but you wouldnt be able to get his ID or password. I dont think you would be able to anyway.

I really hope that he is not being unfaithful to you. I think you need to sit down with him and talk it out. Or maybe set up some kind of survelance in the room, or is there anyway you can see in the room from like a window or something?

[kmarie]

You are right.from the history you will not be able to se if hes using the messenger service..but you can see what sites he is visiting.


The only way to see who hes chatting with is to log onto the messenger as him and see who he has for buddies..even then you really dont have any proof who any of them are (unless they have a detailed profile!)...but still it may be a start.


I think the best course of action would be to give it another week..when the chicky poo is back from vacation...if he starts locking himself in the room again id sit him down and tell him esactly how you fee..what you believe is happening and that you need explinations if its not the case.


worse comes to worse...chuck the computer..but if he is cheating..he will find other ways im afraid.

[jennyleigh1975]

If you could find out his screen name and password, you could log on and pretend to be him and talk to his online "friends"

I did this to my ex-sis in law when she was cheating on my hubbys brother ..................

[jptk]

If you could find out his screen name and password, you could log on and pretend to be him and talk to his online "friends"

I did this to my ex-sis in law when she was cheating on my hubbys brother ..................

that is a great idea although gettin a hold of his name and password could be a problem. maybe remove the lock from the door and next time hes in their, burstthrough the door and see if hes in a chat room or something