Friends who think it’s funny

[moose_145]

Okay, my friends are really nice people, but one thing about them bothers me. They love to torment my about my fear of vomit, or vomiting, for that matter. They think it's funny to see me 'freak out', with my squealing, shuddering, screaming and whatnot, when they make wretching nosies, or tell me about a very vivid vomiting moment. Now, okay I am in the 8th grade and this might seem as just simple immatureity (not sure if thats a word, but..I think you know what I mean) I would like to find away to make them see that it's not funny, with out loosing some of the best friends I have ever had. (yes, once my friends stop with all the fake wretching they are wonderful people, and without them I would be a mess) Any suggestions? Thanks!


-Moose

[wing]

I think you should sit them down and have a serious conversation with them. That would be the best that you can do. They care about you then they will stop. Just talk with them ^^. Good luck. I hope they stop. Iknow what you mean by still keeping them as best friends. One of my friends didnt understand very well and I practically yelled at her a bit (out of frustration, my other friend backed me up. Maybe tell one of your friends seriously at first- one that seems to take you the most seriously so when you explain it seriouslyto your other friends,it'll be easier) and made her read a print out I printed. She understands as much as a non emet would now. I mean she didnt tease me before she just didnt believe it.

[spilled_milk]

What Wing said is good advice. When I told my friends they didn't think it was that serious: one or two of them even started making retching noises and everything. Then we were all at a party with some of my friends from my old school, who knew and completely understood about my phobia. One of the new friends started making retching noises, and all of a sudden one of my old friends just yelled at her, telling her to "look at how freaked out she's getting!" With that, my friends noticed that this wan't a joke!! I think that you really do have to get a little tough, but don't scream their heads off! You can't let them walk all over you...and i promise, you're not gonna lose your friends just because there is something serious to talk about with them.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


<3 Anya--

[izzybee]

I've always been scared of telingmy friends - infact I nly started teling my mum about it last year. I tld my best friend at the time (I now thinkshe's awful!) And she just laughed in my face and said I was stupid. She is an attention seeker, and now has developed a fear of eyes that absolutely everyone knows about. I hate it. The other friend I told was fine about it. I think when you do tell people you need to tell them how severe it is - give them examples of the things you cant do et cetc. If you just say you have a fear you'l probably get a couple of "


oh yeh, I get that too" kind of things.


Best of luck!

[ontariogirl]

Like wing suggested talk to them. Tell them exactly what this phobia does to you, be open and honest about it. A girl moved in to an apt. here and we became very good friends. She had the stomach flu and asked me if I could watch her girls while she got some sleep?? I told her I couldn't, I explained to her over the phone about my phobia, she understood but not 100%. One day she took her girls to the park they were young and there was a bee and she totally freak out! She ran until the bee was gone and she had sure panic. She has never been stung by a bee but she is petrified. One day her husband and her and the kids were driving and there was a bee in the car, she told her husband to pull over as he was slowing down she jumped out of the car!!!!! Her heart was pounding, she was shaking in fear. I explained to her that the way she is petrified of bees that is how I am with puking, she had all the symptoms of panic attacks,,, then she knew exactly what I go through with feeling sick, being around anyone who feels sick or has been sick. She 100% understands how I feel.. Talk to your friends!

[skinnyme]

I agree with Ontariogirl. Its not the source of the fear that has to be understood, its the actual agony of fearing something that will make someone understand better, and everyone has some sort of fear.

[jenniferjayde]

Mine are the same way. I used to get voice mails from people..."friends"...just making vomiting noises and hanging up. Someone who is actually a VERY good friend of mine e-mailed me a picture a few months ago of a soccer team, and in the last row, there is a kid throwing up....VERY graphic and a LOT and...well that image was in my head all day.


The ones who take me seriously, I sat down with and tried to explain. Now, they call me after they get out of the movies to tell me NOT to go see said movie, because there's a VOMIT scene! Thank God for them.


The ones who didn't take me seriously aren't in my life anymore. It's childish and I think we're all past that point in our lives. Just let them know that it's serious. Direct them to this website if you must!

[blood_tears]

i too think you should talk with them. anyone who has a phobia in some way will be able to understand if you can get the message across to them that your fear is really no different than being afraid of bees, dogs, small spaces or spiders. its simply that these fears are a little more commonly talked about. but sit them down and let them know exactly what this does to you and exactly what kind of panic their teasing can cause, and they should understand.


*hugs* i hope things get better for you

[redapple]

I agree that the only way to really get around this is to have a
serious conversation with them about it. I know how it
hurts. Some of my friends are extremely sensitive about it and
very cool about it, and others don't take it seriously at all and are
rude. I hope this improves for you

[trishbme]

haha.. my friends call me about the movie thing too... my friends tried
to joke about it at first...a serious conversation is def. in
order... once they understand and you finally have it out how
much this bothers you and probably hurts your feelings... if they are
your true friends they'll be supportive... and hopefully stop what they
feel are just jokes..

[moose_145]

I have already talked to a few of my friends about it, and they totally stopped! I guess they just needed to understand that it is totally NOT funny...I can agree with some of your stories, one of my best friends, sent me and e-mail of a family picture with a kid in the front row puking...I was totally disgusted, I have also had friends call me long distance JUST TO TELL ME that someone in the line at the theme park they were at threw up..It just got to be to much, thanks a lot everyone ^_^

[wing]

That's great that it went well! I'm so happy for you! ^__^ Heh, once when i was younger (like nine years old) my friend called meAFTER dinner to tell me someone v* on the school bus on a trip and described it graphically *shudders*. Gosh I just put the phone down lol.

[alliekat083]

im new to this site, just found you and its been a big relief! on the subject of friends not understandng...ive only told 2 of my friends (one suffers herself which was an unbelievable relief, and i wouldnt have known that had i not confided in her first!) the other is very understandin. if the situation was different and they had made fun of me, i wouldnt consider them to be friends!

[mn7tg]

I wish I had the guts to tell my friends - I think most of would take it fine, but probably find it pretty weird!



I need to think about telling my family/girlfriend first, it's so hard
keeping these things to oneself - it's more stressful!! It is
commendable that you have all been able to release these things off
your chest...

[steph77]

every person i have encountered at this point in my life has been supportive in some way. i think my and their age has something to do with it, i'm 27. and when i explain the fear to them, i ask them about their phobias, and if they have none, to think of someone close to them who has a phobia. i let them know that it's encoded in me at this point and i'm aware it's not rational, but it's me. fortunately they get the drift. i could not tell anyone, though until i was about 22, so i understand how that feels, too. at this point, if someone can't accept it or wants to make fun of it, it doesn't matter to me....i'm not lacking in support and i don't need theirs.