I dont know how i feel about this

[blood_tears]

Not that i'm asking any of you to tell me how to feel, i guess i just want to talk about something that happened to me.


My GF knows that i am an emet, although maybe that is a story i should explain first. The reasons she knows is probably what you would call the hard way. Meaning she was a little bit sick in front of me, just gagging when she started choking one day but i went into a panic attack and ebcause she is prone to them herself, she recognized it and in about 3.7 seconds figured out why. and shes ok with me being an emet and there have been times when shes done things to accomidate it (ie taking gravol for me if she isnt feeling 100% even though she hates drugs, etc...)


But she was at my house, and ok maybe you need more backstory. My stomach has been really bugging me the past few days, with pain. the only way i have been able to not be in constant tears from it is by taking t3's, which is what they gave me when i was dragged to er thursday night. Not a fun trip all around but because that scared her (she came with), my gf has been around quite a bit recently.


anyways, she was here and probably because of the strength and the amount of drugs i've been on, my stomach pulled a cute little trick and i went into a full blown panic attack. hyperventilating, shaking, that whole routine and although she has seen me do this before, those panic attacks do not last as long as the ones i get from tummy troubles do. so shes trying to talk me through the standard steps of controlling a panic attack (controlling breating, etc, things we both know by heart) but cant understand that in this case i dont want to get control of this. this is because i have heard if you are having an attack like this, what your diaphragm has to do during the attack is the opposite of what it must do to v* and thus the second is impossible.


eventually she ended up leaving in the middle of the attack just because her ride was here though she offered to let me come out to dinner with her family (*rolls eyes*). and that was ok with me because this kind of stuff in some ways i prefer to be alone to deal with just because i do do some really weird things to help myself feel safe.


I dont know, part of me is like ok shes ok with this this is good. and then part of me is like i dont want her knowing anything about this, this is bad. and somewhere in between all the little parts with their own seperate oppinions, i get lost...

[leilanimessenge]

Okay!


I'm not going to tell you how you -should- feel about this. When my stomach feels upset, whether it's because I'm anxious or just because I'm feeling uneasy, I lay down in a quiet place (near a bathroom) or I'll get a trashcan and bring it over by my bed...just in case. Nausea is very uncomfortable to me, but I feel better if i'm near a bathroom or have a trashcan nearby. For some reason, losing it and losing my cookies on the floor terrifies me...even more than just being sick. If you don't feel comfortable with her around, it's okay..but eventually it would do you good to work up to being comfortable withsomebody around. It may be more comfortable to run away and be by yourself, but it's really helpful to have somebody around that you trust not to get sick in front of you if you happen to get sick. It's a good confidence booster to be around someone who has an air of confidence like it's not a big deal if you do, not in the respect that they belittle your fear, but that they help you step up to the challenge.


It's great that she's there for you, it really is. It's good to have someone around that kinda knows what's going on. And when you don't feel good..just take it easy. If your stomach feels on edge, position yourselfaround a bathroom or with anempty trashcan discreetly nearby, and then try and get your mind involved with something else. Watch a movie you know doesn't have vomiting in it...draw a picture, read a book. Anything to get your mind off your stomach will help it settle down.





Hope this helps!


-Leilani-


You are not alone! We feel your pain..

[sheri-baby]

Leilani, are you from Hawaii?

[blackrainbow]

I think we could all undersatnd how we would want to be alone when we get into a panic attack like this... I had one yesterday with a new guy I've sort of started dating. It was alarming to have a panic attack around someone I didn't really kow but in the end it turns out he was exceptionaly sympathetic., He kept talking to keepo me distracted, he held me when I couldn't stop shaking.


Any yet... I didn't want him there. I didn't want him to see it.


I think what you have to decid is if your atttacks are any better when she is there? If they are, then however much your body screams to be alone, in the end it's better to to have a way to make them better


Tara

[krick]

I understand what your talking about.I feelmy bf thinks I am crazy when I have a panic attack because of the strange way I react to it. He doesnt haveattacks like I do but I've explained everything to him before and he understands why. I am still insecure but I know he understands because we had communicated about it alot before.A book that really helped me, not just with panic attacks, but with my fear of v* as well is, "From Panic To Power"by Lucinda Basset. It even has a step by stepguide for dealing with a panic attack as soon as it comes on. Its like training your mind to think positive. I bookmark that page and read it every time I start to feel anxious. I dont know what I'd do now without that book now! I highly recomend you try this book even if you dont like reading.

[willow2]

I was thinking about buying the book you mentioned krick. Does it look at emetophobia in specific or is simply about phobias?

[krick]

"From Panic to Power" is not just about emetophobia, it covers a variety of different phobia's and disorders. Its more of a support for panic attacks. I felt it helped me get a grip on my own thoughts, so I didn’t freak out so much about getting sick. It helps you learn to stop the bad thoughts. It's helped me out so much. I would defiantly recommend it![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]