What should I do..aquaintance advice

[Erica1649]

So I'm going to an event at my friends house on Sunday...shes my best friend and another one of her friends happens to be the girl who used to bully me in 2nd grade....she doesn't remember really who I am from then...so we are golden....

However, I've been having flashbacks lately with my anxiety and how my emet started and I think she was the culprit of it all. My mom said it sent me into therapy when I was a kid...so here's my dilema....the more and more I think about it, the more and more I wanna yell and scream and tell her off and thank her for what she did to make my childhood a living hell.

So, how do I calmly ignore her and try to not talk to her haha. I like being civil becuase I'm the type of person who doesn't like to cause trouble and have never gotten into a fight, but I'm also at that point in my life where I don't care what people think of me and I am going to stand up for myself. Any suggestions?? Should I just let it blow over?

Its so weird cause I really am remember this stuff like it was yesterday all over again...and it sucks.

[evajosmommy]

Does your best friend know about this? I'm not sure what to tell you. Part of me says keep the calm. But another part of me says it may therapeutic for you to tell her how you feel. Not in a nasty way, just let her know you have something you'd like to get off your chest that's been bothering you for a long time.

[Erica1649]

Yeah, she does I've told her about this...she was like "Wow really?" yeah she couldn't believe it...and she doesn't (and I don't) think its at a point where I can't be in the same room with her before, because we've been in the same place before, but it was when it wasn't on my mind as much as its been lately...its just really strange you know?

[paulinek]

I just had to google how old you would be in 2nd grade and its saying about 7 or 8? If that is correct i wouldn't say anything. For a child of that age to have been a bully to the extent it affected someone the way it did you would in my opinion indicate she was having some severe problems of her own, probably at home, and how we are at the age of 7 isn't necessarily how we are today - I'm not condoning what she did at all and ';m finding it hard to word it right but what i am trying to say is, if she had been a teenager then she would still to this day be fully aware of what she did and remember it clearly and been of an age when she should have known better whereas for a 7 year old she might not even remember how bad she had been or even if she did if she has since completely changed then then it's not going to have the same impact as if she had been older iykwim?

She might also think it is a bit odd or petty bringing something up after all this time (not that it is but you know how people can be if they've not experienced something like that) and if she is now vaguely in your circle as it were, then you don't want to be starting something up between the two of you.

I think if you can hold your head up, show her what a lovely person you are then that makes you the bigger person in all this, and if she does twig who you are and remembers what she did to you, then i bet she will be mortified. Also the other thing is, she could well still be a nasty bully, and the biggest kick for bullies is to see that they are getting to someone so that would be another reason for keeping quiet if it were me. I'd act like the happiest woman on earth thenif she is still a bully and she remembers you that will really hack her off!

Maybe if you get to know her alot better then one day it might be appropriate to raise the subject but in a lighthearted way and see how she reacts but yelling and screaming at her is just going to make you come accross as irrational.

Sorry this ended up rather long, and I hope it doesn;t come accross like telling you what to do, it is of course entireley up to you what you do, i am just saying it how i would approach it if it were me in your shoes but you need to do what is going to make you feel better
. I hope you enjoy the event regardless of her being there xx

[hairyfairy]

I only wish that I coudl have the oppertunity to meet the kids who bullied me when I was a kid, so I could give them a king sized piece of my mind. They would`nt know what had hit them!

[Erica1649]

Thanks for the advice...turns out she was showing up just as I was wrapping up my visit there lol...there were quite a lot of people so I was nice and said some small talk (she had her adorable kid with her) and that was that....its so weird...I don't know even why it's been on my mind some much lately. haha...I probably won't be in her same company again for a long while, so I'm really not worried.

I wouldn't "yell and scream" was just using that as an expression I guess, but I would've just liked to have called her out about it so to say you know??? I guess as a closure thing?? I dunno.

I guess in a way, I do have something about her that she probably forgot all about but I remember well...she tinkled on herself while reading in front of the class...I remember that day like it was yesterday...it almost felt like my revenge!

But I have a feeling she does remember me....and we also went to the same high school and never had classes together...its just funny how things work...lol

Thanks for the advice guys...I think I just needed to get the situation off my chest.

[paulinek]

Glad it all worked out ok in the end and it wasn't awkward. If she does remember you she was probably dreading you mentioning it, lets hope she teaches her own child that bullying is wrong!

[Erica1649]

I agree Pauline...its funny because I though the same thing in my head when he was there haha...I'm so going to hell lmfao!

Again, thanks for listening...