OT: need advice on a bipolar spouse.

[fixxxer2012]

this is not anything to do with emet or my phobia. as most of you know i am married to a woman who has pretty bad bipolar and she is unmedicated because of finances and fear of dependence on her part.

i met her in 2002 at a bad time in my life. i was going through a divorce at the time. she was a saving grace for me. my best friend and my lover, mother of my two kids currently. we have been together almost 9 years and i love her very much. i could not see myself without her. she is a great person and a fantastic mother and provider. when i met her she was on meds but because of no medical insurance or finances she quit them back in 2006.

we actually split up in early 2006 for 4 months because things were pretty bad when her meds stopped working. we got back together and married. things have been ok but we also have had our share of struggles thought the years. to my knowledge she has always been faithful to me and i have to her as well.

but i often find myself like im living more with a roommate than a wife. shes been in a constant state of cycling with bipolar for over a year now. she compulsive cleans, yells, swears and ignores me without knowing shes doing it. she also shoplifts and has been caught without much punishment 4 months ago. she constantly in the room laying in bed, she rarely goes out anymore other than work. i know she doesn't hate me but it often feels like she wants no part of me when she is down. she also sleep alot during the day and i mean alot.

our sex life is lacking and although we love each other i feel as we have drifted apart due to her illness. i have begged her to seek help but she is afraid of dependence on meds and she knows financially we cannot afford it. her family has also pushed her to seek help but unfortunately her mother is also bipolar and she is of no help to me.

i love her to death but im not sure if i can live the rest of my life like this. i do not want this to end, i want her to seek help and go back to the way she was when we met and married. i need my friend back. im so sick of feeling like im doing this on my own. but i know it's not something she can control.

i need some help and or advice from anyone in a similar situation. i know alot of you on here suffer from various aliments and i just need some support. ive tried support groups online but they do not seem to give any good advice other than leaving her. this situation not only affects me but our two kids as well. there has got to be a way to get through to her in her current state.