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Emetophobia is one of the most common phobias in the world. The amount of members in this society is proof enough. Associated with this phobia are feelings of anxiety and panic attacks. These are also quite common when you have this phobia. What does this mean? It means you are not alone and there is hope.
I lived with emetophobia for 18 years between the ages of 11-29. In just the last year, I was able to get over this phobia. I will share with you my story of how I did it and some treatment options that you can do to conquer this fear.
I thought I was the only one in the world with emetophobia. Every time I saw it, heard it, or thought of being sick I would have elevated anxiety or even once in awhile have a panic attack. These panic attacks would entail rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, fast breathing, nausea and feelings of unreality, out of body, hopelessness and impending doom. I thought I could control it and avoid the phobia all together, but two years ago I realized this was not the case.
This phobia completely engulfed me and I couldn’t enjoy the things that I liked to do or be with my family and friends that I loved the most. With all of this fear and anxiety it increased my episodes of panic attacks and eventually I developed panic disorder. This disorder is defined as being anxious about panic attacks. This was an endless cycle where emetophobia thoughts induced anxiety which produced physical symptoms resulting in more thoughts, intense anxiety and stronger symptoms. It was just a downward spiral and I felt so hopeless. To make it worse, I kept these thoughts, feelings and emotions inside. I didn’t tell anyone about this. I didn’t know what to do and didn’t think anything or anyone could help me. In 2009, my phobia and panic disorder were so intense I no longer enjoyed life. It was also that same year I decided enough was enough. I finally did something that I should have done 18 years ago. I reached out for help.
I told my wife and father about my feelings of anxiety. I didn’t reveal everything-I didn’t mention anything about my emetophobia or what was truly causing my anxiety. I was too embarrassed. I also thought it was ridiculous to have this phobia and I was too old (27 years old) to have these thoughts and feelings. It was suggested by my father that I go see my doctor. So after visiting my doctor I was given a one year prescription of sertaline (Zoloft) for my anxiety. The medication helped. It reduced the intensity of my physical symptoms of anxiety and brought it down to a manageable level. It was not instantaneous, though, and took 6-8 weeks for the medication to take its full effect. Even though my anxiety got better, I was not over my phobia. I would still have thoughts of being sick and I did have a panic attack when I heard that one of my family members got sick.
After a year on sertaline, I didn’t feel I was completely over my phobia, but I thought I was better enough to stop taking the medication. In 2010, after 3 months of being off sertaline, my anxiety and panic attacks began to increase and my downward spiral started again. I went back on the medication and made the decision to overcome my emetophobia. I shared my phobia with my family. I also searched online about emetophobia and that is how I found this website. I also discovered that this phobia was quite common and that treatments to cure this exist.
I went to see a nurse practitioner at a local mental health center to help manage my medication. She also diagnosed me with panic disorder and recommended I go see a clinical psychologist. While seeing my psychologist I learned relaxation techniques and cognitive skills to help cope with anxiety and this phobia. After 8 therapy sessions I noticed I made huge strides. My anxiety thoughts and symptoms are less intense and frequent. I have not had any panic attacks since I started therapy and I have seen and heard people/family members get sick since, and it doesn’t traumatize me as it once I did.
Right now, I continue to take sertaline. I have attended 15 sessions with my psychologist over a 7 month period. I still see him, but not as frequent (started once a week and have gradually moved to every 6 weeks). I’m also reading the workbook Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic by David H. Barlow and Michelle G. Craske. My anxiety has been mild on a daily basis along with infrequent anxiety and phobia thoughts. I’m able to enjoy life again. I can engage in the activities that I like to do. I can enjoy the moments when I’m with my family and friends. The only thing I regret is that I didn’t seek help sooner. I could have saved myself a lot of grief and irrational fear.
So I share this with you today to tell you that life doesn’t have to be this way. You no longer have to live your life in fear. Hope and help are out there. One great thing about this phobia is there is more than one way to treat this. If one way doesn’t work for you, don’t give up. There are other options. Also, if you think that none of these treatments will work for you or that you can’t imagine what life would be like without having this phobia that’s ok. It’s normal to have these thoughts. I had them as I was starting therapy. It’s a part of the anxiety and phobia. One other thing is don’t be so hard on yourself and don’t blame yourself for causing this phobia and bringing this upon yourself. Remember anxiety and fear are normal feelings. It reminds us that we are human. I didn’t know that and I always placed this high expectation on myself to not have any feelings of fear and anxiety.
So please do yourself a favor and go seek help. As you’re starting therapy feel free to respond back and share your experiences. Tell us what worked and didn’t work for you. My vision is that this will turn into a snowball effect and together we can conquer this phobia.
Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
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