Teenage EMET..

[kayy94]

I'm soo glad I found this website, and I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who is going through this... I feel like I'm the only one.
I've always been afraid of v* and the s*v*, but this year (my junior year in high school) it has gotten SO much worse. I feel like I can't even handle it anymore sometimes.
It all started when I had my first panic attack of my life in Spanish class. I was feeling totally fine, then I thought "what would happen if I v*'ed right here in class?" Then I started thinking about it more and more and more, and my hands were getting sweaty, I was getting dizzy and really hot, and I could feel my heart pounding, until I finally psyched myself out and thought I was going to be s*, so I hurried out of class and went to the bathroom. Immediately after getting into the bathroom I calmed down so much so I stayed in there until the end of class. It was so embarrassing.
Ever since that day I've been getting daily panic attacks in school, and feeling like I'm n* all the time, even though I KNOW it's in my head because my stomach feels fine, it's just me getting myself all worked up.

I have missed so much school this year, and I feel awful and guilty about it. My mom doesn't understand, she gets mad at me when I miss school and I get mad at myself too, but sometimes I just can't handle it. The only teacher that knows about the anxiety/panic attacks is my Spanish teacher, because I asked him to move my seat to a spot in the room where I feel more comfortable (kind of away from my classmates, I get really nervous around people). Lately I have been visiting the school nurse a lot when the anxiety strikes and I just need to get out of class, but I think she has been getting annoyed with me because it seems like she's acting more rude towards me every time I go to her office.
The anxiety used to only happen at school, then it started following me to public places. Like I went to see a movie and then to dinner with one of my friends and I couldn't focus or eat during the movie because I kept thinking "What if I get sick here? What if I get sick here?" and I was miserable the entire time. Now the anxiety/emetophobia is following me home, and I'm starting to feel n* but not really n* (it's just in my head) at my own home! I don't eat a lot as much as I used to because I'm so worried all the time about v* even when I don't feel sick. The only time I truly feel 100% okay is when I'm with my animals (I have a rabbit, four dogs, and a horse). But other than that, I'm always nervous and on edge.

I just want it to stop. I hate it so much and I hate being afraid to live my life like I used to be able to! I want to go and hang out with my friends, and go to school 5 days a week instead of just 4, and be able to stay after school for clubs! But I can't because this stupid emet. is controlling my life!!

Once I start thinking about having a panic attack or getting n*, I can't stop! I usually try and distract myself by doodling in class (like random circles and squares and then coloring them in with patterns) but my teachers get annoyed with that and think I'm not listening, but really I'm just trying to stop myself from having to run out of the class in panic! Please, can anyone give me tips to try and control it? I'm dreading school tomorrow. D r e a d i n g.


Bless you if you read this entire novel.. ♥♥

[jwavrek]

OH my, where to start. I've been exactly where you are. I screwed up both my freshman and sophomore years of HS because of the panic attacks and the fear of n* at school. Some of the coping mechanisms that I've found that work (besides distraction) are telling myself that "if I need to be s* then I can leave the room", also telling myself that "I'm not going to be sick" over and over again.

Have you considered seeing a doctor, and possibly trying some medication to help manage anxiety? Also, therapy (such as CBT) can be quite helpful for developing coping mechanisms.

[kayy94]

I keep bothering my mom about medicine, but she really doesn't want me on it because a side affect is thoughts of suicide in teenagers. I just started taking Ignatia (which is a homeopathic to help with anxiety, they have no side affects so it can't hurt to try it) but I've only been taking it for about two days and they say that you don't see results for like a week at least. :/

[jwavrek]

Good luck with your homeopathic remedy Let me know if it helps.

Have you considered maybe just getting CBT therapy or something like that? You would go in once a week and talk with a therapist, the therapist would help you find ways to manage your anxiety and cope with it when you have panic attacks.

P.S. The risk of increased thoughts of suicide is very rare.

[kayy94]

I have considered therapy, asked my mom about it, she said yeah okay we'll do it. She even got some business cards from my doctor of places she recommends... but never called to set up a therapy session. I need to start bugging her about it again so she will sign me up.

And it is?? I'll start researching, trying to find information saying that the thoughts of suicide is rare. I REALLY need medication, I don't think she realizes how bad my anxiety actually is. I had an idea today to color in my student planner calender, of how I felt that day. If the day was fine, then I'll color the day in green. If I was uncomfortable, but managed, then I'll color it with yellow. If it was an awful day and I felt nervous and "n*" all day, then I'll color it red. Then after a week or two I'll show it to her and she'll see MAYBE a day of green, and 90% yellow, and 10% red.

[jwavrek]

Whatever works! right?

I'm currently a senior in HS. My anxiety had cleared up for a couple years, but I recently had a sv* and it's come back worse than ever. I talked to my doctor, and I'm starting some medication. Fingers crossed, it'll work. :|

[kayy94]

Good luck! I'd do anything to be able to have medicine that works, I miss my life before I was afraid to live.

[kayy94]

Well, the emet. and anxiety got to me today. I didn't go to school. I was so nervous about v* in class (even though I didn't feel the slightest bit n*) that I gave myself d* and didn't go to school.

[jwavrek]

That's awful. I'm sorry. You have to tell yourself that "I'm not going to v* in class".

I'm avoiding class right now too. Although for other reasons.

[anewday]

i feel the exact same way. this is no way to live.

[emynrosie]

I read the whole story and I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from.

I'm exactly the same with the whole "its your mind making it up" thing. If I start to feel sick or even just the SLIGHTEST bit nauseous I start freaking out. Or even if I get this weird sensation in my throat I start freaking out about v*. But then I think to myself "Hold on, my stomach feels fine." Most of the time with me (and i'm guessing you), its just our mind playing tricks with us. Knowing that we are so frightened of this event that at any chance it will feed us fear. But if you keep saying to yourself "I'm fine, I wont be sick" over and over again, it does eventually get into your head. If you're at home when you start freaking out I find the best way to get your mind off it is to watch some TV or read a book or just do something that you find distracting! Last night for instance I was lying in bed and I started to feel weird in my stomach and I knew it was just my mind playing silly tricks with me so I decided to watch my favourite tv show and after half an hour I was tired and I felt fine again so went to bed However, that must be very hard at school for you. It also freaks me out to think about v* in public, let alone in front of your friends!! If that starts to happen at class, just keeping saying that mantra over and over in your head and try and concentrate really hard to what your teacher is saying or what you have to be doing. Distraction is the key!!

If you are also looking for something to calm you down with your panic attacks and your anxiety, I always take these natural remedy drops called "Rescue Remedy". You take 4 drops or so under the tongue when you feel anxious and I've found it definitely works for me! Give that a try and also have you noticed that when we have panic attacks our breathing is shallow and we are all tense? That's also a reason that makes it a whole lot worse so you need to breathe REALLY deeply and concentrate on getting your breathing deep and long. Not having enough oxygen going to your brain certainly doesnt help the situation...

Anyway, sorry for the long reply but I hope I've helped you a little bit! I know how you feel and what you go through. I've been emetophobic pretty much my whole life and it SUCKS!!! No one except the people who have this crazy fear actually understands what we feel and what we go through... The majority of the people who find out about our fear just think we're weird. Good luck with it all!!

[LozzahPozzahWozzah9498]

You are the same as me! I am a teenager, and have the emetophobia BADLY, even though it's slightly different. I totally feel for you . The advice I give you is don't panic! Calm yourself down and try to stop thinking about it, focus on your work, or focus on a happy memory, to get that panic out of your mind. This is what I do when I know someone is feeling sick, or has been sick. I focus on the computer, homework or the work what has been set in class or even a happy memory. It helps calm you down, and I hope it will for you and you manage to go to school every day of the week! Good luck with it, I hope you manage to keep calm! <3

[DDT]

When I feel weird and like a panic attack is going to strike I just talk to myself like 'It's going to be fine, you are strong and you can get over this thing' and then I just try to think of something else (sometimes I amange to do it, sometimes I don't but at least I try).

A really important thing I have recently read is that our brain doesn't process the word NO at a deepper level, even we hear it, we can't actually process it (for example, if you repeat to a child 'do NOT do that' he will eventually do it, just because our brain can't process this word at an unconscious level, so stop thinking I am NOT going to be sick or stuff like that, just tell yourself 'I AM going to be ok/fine/ etc." It's much better this way.
Try to talk to yourself in positive sentences, not by saying NO to things. It doesn't help as much as you would think.

[chocolategirl]

What I do to help myself is I always have ginger ale. Then, I will bring my etcha sketch so if I start getting obsessive thoghts, I start doodling on that. Also I have silly putty with me, which distracts me alot too. I hate school. I'm in 10th grade