My turn to feel pround, or at least I hope so ;D

[DDT]

Ok, sa I am going to say here the things that made me really proud of me lately (even if they seem like nothing for me they are soooo important).

First of all I started talking about my phobia and beeing sincerly about that. Also I started using the words sick, or vomit or... (I hope it's ok if i write them like that and not like v* or s*, if it's not ok for you guys just say and I will stop using them like that). Ok, another thing. Yesterday I got into a really bad fight with my boyfriend (we almoast broke up) so I left the house alone and went shopping by myself. At first i felt so weird and so much anxiety was taking over me but after 30 min. or so I was pretty much back to 'reality' and feeling ok. I was so proud of myself that I ended up buyng myself a bag ).

Another thing is that I am now able to control myself much better (I usually managed to do it in the past too, for example when I felt nauseated even though I was scared I wasn't crying or yelling, just shaking a little bit) but now I discovered sth. The minute I start to feel sick (I mean sick in my stomach not that my brain say something when I'm actually feeling ok) I need fresh, cold air. Sometimes I take ice cubes, fold them into a napkin and aply them at the back of my neck, the joints of my hands (I'm not sure if that's the correct word) or on my forhead. It helps me a lot from what I have seen (maybe it will help you too). Another thing I wanted to share with you guys is that, even if it seems that when you chew gum the nausea disapears it's false. Actually, you create more acid in your stomach and that thing is really bad for you. I like something that has menthol in it, but I prefer mints or sth like that, not gum, because it harms you stomach.

Anyway, I'm really proud of myself, I still feel anxiety and a bit of fear, but I know that school will be over soon and I will be able to start therapy and get over this stupid phobia.

My mother told me to get some Xanax from my doctor but I don't think it'a very good idea. I need my energy for studying and I have heard that this medicine makes you all sleepy and.. I really don't want to feel like I'm 70 years old.
Anyway, hope you guys feel better too and I hope you know you are all beautiful, WE are all beautiful despite this fear.

[HEH18]

Well done!! Those are huge victories!! Small to the world, big to us phobics!!! That's seriously huge that you were able to push through the anxiety and not let it make you run and hide!! You should be super proud of yourself, it's totally normal to feel anxiety and fear with having a phobia, the big victory comes in not letting it stop you from living life

[stoneskipper]

Congrats! You definitely should feel proud.

[DDT]

Well today wasn't so good. I had a really bad day and as I was coming back from school I couldn't get into the bus because of the anxiety so I ended up taking a cab and fealing something that seemed to be nausea all the way back home. Anyway, now I'm home, and I feel really tired and disappointed of my reaction today. I just feel like it's such a major step back. I just want my normal life back, so all I can do is breathe deeply and relax, thinking that it will al be fine soon.



Anyway, thank you guys for the support, I'm so happy I found this web comunity, I don't feel like I'm a weirdo and I don't feel like I'm the only one with this problem anymore.

[JellyBn83]

I know how you feel...one step forward, two steps back. But you know what? It will get better. That is what I am trying to tell myself that. Some days it works, some days it doesn't. Keep your chin up!

[DDT]

Ok so I'm back with news. I started therapy, and I'm feeling confident about it. I still feel anxiety a lot, especially when I'm outside, but now that springbreak is here I don't have to worry about going to school every day and just focus on my therapy sessions and studying at home.

I hope it will be ok, I just want to stop thinking about that it would be like if I got sick here and there... My therapist seems confident too, she says she thikns I'm going to get rid of this phobia sooner than I would think, and I hope I will.

Hope you guys are ok too ^^

[AngelL]

aww well done! Thats fantastic news!, and you know in the first post, the things you did, they are massive hurdles! Everyone has their off days, don't let it dishearten you, keep with the therapy, I have been having therapy for a little while now and am due to start CBT and Exposure therapy tomorrow. I'm scared, but trying to stay positive! Your doing really well! And how you rewarded yourself is brilliant, thats what my therapist says, we have to be kind to ourselves and notice what we are doing day today, we cant be so hard on ourselves, its a serious thing that we are all trying to work through. I hope it goes well, stick with it and keep your chin up xXx