shiva=hypocrite

[shiva]

So, there seems to be a tummy bug circulating around my daughters class. I am focusing on relaxing and positive self talk. I am doing all the stuff I tell people to do, but at the same time I want desperately to keep her home and I do not want to be alone with her tonite. I know that I have no choice but to handle whatever could happen. And I know that I will be okay and she will be okay. I feel very nervous though. It is taking a lot out of me to control this panic. It is hard.


I don't really know why I have posted this. I usually stiffle these feelings. I just feel like a hypocrite because my own philosopy doesn't even always help me. I am having to work very hard to stay positive right now. This is lame. I am mad at myself right now. Sorry...

[r311dude]

Just take it slowly. I know it's hard not to think about it, but just try to keep your mind occupied. Ponder the meaning of life, ponder about the weight of a pea on the third moon of Jupiter (if it has one). Just stay occupied and it will all go well =)

[madisonsmom]

How do you know that a bug is going around your daughters class?

[jennyleigh1975]

Dont feel like a hypocrite, we can always feel better about this phobia when there is not any imediate danger, so to speak. Im sure you were doing just fine until you heard the news that a virus is circulating in your daughters class. Do not feel bad for asking for any reassurance by posting here. We all know how this phobia can over power us sometimes, and we all want to beat it.

Who told you there was a virus circulating in your daughters class? Was it a reputable source? Please keep us posted on how you and your daughter are doing.

[donna1216]

I know how you feel, earlier this year I did keep Logan home when Norwalk and projectile v'ing was making the rounds, I was a nervous wreck and my husband works at night so I was home alone with my 2 kids!!! Just try tostay calm, maybe she won't get it, if noone was actually sick at school!!

[shiva]

Okay.. I guess I might be jumping the gun here. Example of how we loose logic. The girl who came to play on Sunday was vomiting last Wednesday and Jade's other best friend was out sick today. So, I guess my mind exagerating with 'circulating', huh? Plus, I don't even know for sure that the other girl who was out today was out with vomiting. That's how quick I let that one take over.


I keep remembering to myself times when my sister or I had a tummy bug during childhood and we did not pass it on to one another. I remember a time a friend of mine stayed the night with me and I was in the bathroom, 3 feet away from her when she got sick in my sink and I didn't get sick that time either.


I think I know exactly why I am over exaggerating... I am just stressed. I have gotten so freaking far with this phobia in the last couple of months. I have been working very hard on it. I did go off my anti anxiety meds against my doctor's advice, so I've been kinda waiting to get knocked off track. You know? Like, if I am expecting it then maybe it won't mess me up so bad. But the anticipation is what is messing me up. My God, I can't even think straight. I have all this stupid homework to do and I keep trying to focus, but I hear that little girl sitting in my house saying to me "I threw up twice on Wednesday". I've got to stop this.


Thank you guys so much for responding. I felt totally stupid after posting. I keep a lot of stuff bottled up, and this also makes me feel very weak since I have been on here telling everyone not to be weak and to think "positively". Don't get me wrong. I am still working hard to do these things, but I still feel crappy about it. I reccommend to eveyone else to consider these encounters challenges (as my doctor suggests I do) and welcome them and learn from them and today I am just having a hard time with it.


I talk tooo much

[swiftette]

Don't fell like a hypocrite and don't feel stupid. We are all here to support each other. Sometimes some of us are strong and sometimes others of us are strong. But that is why this site exists.

[madisonsmom]

You'll be ok sweetie. Just put things in perspective. Like you are trying to do now.


Keep us posted on what happens. PM me if you want!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[shiva]

So.. I've spent the last 30 minutes on this site. (I thought I would pass on the exposure therapy for today And I feel soo much better. I am glad that this site is here. Everyone here is great. That's really all I wanted to say.

[shiva]

I just keep posting, posting, posting. This is a great distraction for me at the second. I have rationalized many things as I have sat here. I feel much more calm than I did earlier. I did succumb to some of those evil what if's, but I fought them off for the time being and it feels great. Maybe now I will be able to get some homework done.


This experience has been a great example for me for why I come here. You guys have really helped to make my evening less stressed. And, it really was helpful to all of you who helped me put things in perspective. I kinda went from 0 to 200 in like no time I am very grateful to have this site for support.

[mitch04133]

Don't feel like a hypocrite, cause your not. And I am like you too. I come here to this site when I am feeling sick, and the more you post the better you feel. It's like you write down what's going on and you began to rationalize. Try not worry, I know it's hard. But remember we are all here for you. Please try and feel better. I sure things will be fine. Take a hot bath and try and relax. Let us know how things are.


Michele

[madisonsmom]

I am glad that you calmed down so quickly. Getting those yucky feelings out helps huh?





I will pm you later Shiva...ok?

[shiva]

Thanks, Madisonsmom!


Actually, thank you everyone. I had a hard time taking her to school today. I didn't want to, but I know my psychologist would yell at me...[img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]


I lectured her on personal space. ( i try to encourage her not to let other kids hang on her... as little girls like to do ) and asked her to please wash her hands. Guess that's all I can do.


I am taking a half day from work today so that I can get some studying done. I have a project due in 2 days that I haven't even started on... UGH.


I am anxious to hear if her other girlfriend was still out of school today and if any other kids were out. I know a lot of upper respiratory stuff is going about. (my friend is a medical assistant, so i drill her daily So, hopefully that's what she was out with. Or, like Jade said.. "Relax, Mom. Maybe she broke her arm!" That kinda helped put things in perspective, too.

[terified girl]

Again, don't feel like a hypocrite, its actually a nice thing to read about being positive about this emet, and you did just that, and I also remember you saying that you are NOT cured and you know it'll most probably happen again, so nothing in your previous posts made you sound like a hypocrite.....


Now I am so happy to hear that you are handling this so well, keep it up, you are a strong person!


Sonia[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[ontariogirl]

It is easy to feel that way Shiva, I have done it so many times. I give advice and it helps other people but I don't listen to my own advice, make sense?

[madisonsmom]

YES!

[shiva]

Update..


I guess it isn't much of an update. The girl who was sick last Wednesday and here on Sunday was calling to come over tonite. Of course you all no I said "NOPE"


The girl who was out of school yesterday was not back today and no other kids were out. Jade said all she knows is that her other friend left school Monday because she was running a fever. Jade did not go to school Monday because she had a dental appointment. WHEW... That makes me feel a little better.


Thanks again everyone. From some of the other posts on the board it really seems like there is some yukkie stuff going around in some places. I just hate it. Even if I was not an emet, I wouldn't wish some of this kind of stuff on my worst enemy. Then again.. Who knows how those lucky non emets think. It's probably just no big deal. Could you imagine? One of these days

[ontariogirl]

shiva; I am a very kind person, if someone needs me I am there, I used to think that I wouldn't wish this phobia on my worst enemy, BUT when I see certain people when I go into town where I grew up and see someone who teased the hec out of me in public school when this phobia hit me so hard, who hurt me with those words that I am a freak, retarded etc, I do wish that they had this. Those words hurt me so much.

[shiva]

Isn't it so strange. I mean.. we all seem like pretty compassionate people here for the most part. I always wonder what on earth I am being punished for. Exactly, there are people out there who are full of hate. Why can't they deal with this s*** on a daily basis?


Then again I guess that's like asking why baby's get cancer (or anyone for that matter), why hiv exists, why the tsunami, why hunger and starvation in the wealthiest country in the world, why a tornado takes your home and family and not your neighbors, why? why? why? There are no good answers to these sad questions, but it is something to think about.


I mean.. shouldn't good people be rewarded in life? Or,does it all depend on perspective? Are we being rewarded because we get to be more compassionate? I just don't get it.

[shiva]

Okay.. The other little girl was in school today. She said she had strep throat. Jade said all the kids were there today. So, it sounds like I put my body/mind through all that stress for no reason. ( I hope, anyway Strep doesn't stress me out as bad because Jade doesn't get sick that way when she gets it.

[jennyleigh1975]

I am glad you are feeling better about things. I think a few of us on here have had some stressors this week. Well, we have stressors everyday, but you know what I mean ...............

[ontariogirl]

Icompletely understand where you are coming from Shiva all those questions that you put down I wonder the same thing. I don't know, I don't get it at all.