How do you ask dates/BF/GF/mates about vom?

[gumdropper1]

How do you or did you go about asking your dates, boyfriends/girlfriends, mates/spouses etc. about their history when it comes to vomiting? Did you tell them about your emet early or ever, and did you ask questions like "do you throw up often?" on first dates?

I will tell my own experience after hearing from a few others. I just don't want to bias the pool.

Doug

[kukos]

I have never told anyone that I'm an emet. I have this 'rule' that I'm allowed to take extra precautions not to get sick, but I will never try and change someone elses habits, not even by telling them Im phobic. In a way its helped, ive been with my fiance nearly 8 yrs and he has poor hygine (not in the BO sense, in the touching raw meat/going no.2 and not washing his hands sense.) Being with someone who barely ever vomits despite this has helped me challenge my fears.

[Erica1649]

Thats interesting...I never told it on a first date, but not sure exactly when the conversation came up...

[DeadxxInside92]

I never told anyone straight up. Actually, I'd not told anyone at all until this past year. Up until then, no one knew. I don't wanna burden people with it but I am glad my boyfriend knows although he definitely doesn't cater to it.

[andee]

I was very open with my husband then-boyfriend...as soon as we were getting serious (maybe 3 months in), I told him about my fear, my history, anxiety, etc. It was great that I did because about a month later, he happened to be with me one night when I ended up getting sick (back in June, 1989). It was horrible but he was great about it...definitely a keeper after that!!!
Can I ask if you are going through this now, or is this just for info??

[JellyBn83]

I told my husband when we were dating (not really on the first date) because he saw me react to a movie we were watching. I started my panic mood and covered my eyes and plugged my ears. We had a talk about it and now he knows that if there is someone getting sick to keep me busy and have me look away.

[cazamoon]

Have only just recently started telling anyone about my phobia and my husband was one of them do not think he fully understands lol

[andee]

Forgot to answer the other part...I never really asked him about getting sick. He told me of a few times and I just figured it wasn't too often, which is true, thankfully.

[stoneskipper]

I was friends with my wife for a long time before we started dating, and I don't remember exactly, but I am betting I told her pretty soon after we became friends. I usually tell people as soon as I start feeling like I am getting close to them. I never asked her about her 'vomiting history' though - the thought didn't even occur to me. I'm more focused on myself, what I "need to do" to avoid it.

[Murder-my-soul]

Personally, I never tell them about my fear. And, I just casually bring up the topic of vomiting and we talk about past instances. I pretend I am totally okay with it. And, I am. In fact I don't have a fear of others vomiting, it almost kind of... makes me love that person more because they aren't like me! I also fell that they wouldn't "judge" me too harsh if I were to vomit because it's natural to them so it makes me more comfortable to be around people who vomit more often. I don't know why I am so afaid though, because I haven't vomited for 4 years. And even in that, when I would try to vomit, I couldn't.

[4077girl]

I usually just ask them directly "When is the last time you threw up?" and then they usually say something alcohol related. Then I ask "when is the last time you threw up from an illness?" I seem to have a natrual gift for picking guys who rarely v. They usually can't remember the last time. My craziness is pretty obvious right off the bat, so a question like that really doesn't raise as many red flags as some of my other crazy ones do! That being said, I am not really very good at maintaining romantic relationships!

[gumdropper1]

4077girl, you shine! I am not that bold about it, probably because I don't want anyone figuring out I'm vomit-obsessed.

In the initial stages of getting to know a woman, I have asked if she has any phobias. More than one said she absolutely hated throwing up. That then gave me an opening to ask follow up questions about it, like what does she do when she has to do it. I've learned that most who say they don't like throwing up haven't done it in years. I've never volunteered that I'm emetophobic, but I let a few know I haven't done it in decades.

I actually dated one girl who was a genuine emet, although she didn't seem to have any feeling for me and we didn't go out again. One thing I remember was that seeing a container of Italian salad dressing grossed her out, so at dinner, I moved the salad dressing out of her view. I was careful about not talking about vomiting with her once she said she had a fear of it, but I learned it had been eight years since she'd puked. I didn't tell her it had been more than twice that length of time for me.

I've never been fond of girls who frequently mention vomiting because that means they do it a lot and it means nothing to them. I did think it was kind of fun that a girl once asked me, "Do you vomit often?" I had to say no, I don't.

Doug

[ewilkins]

I don't and thankfully my wife hardly ever does it however, I was with a woman for 6 years who did it at the drop of a hat. To be honest, being around her kind of got me over the fear of others doing it. Now it's mostly just my fear of ME doing it. Last time for me was 17 years ago. I was 22 then and am 39 now. I did feel the urge about 4 months ago, but ended up going to the ER to get meds to prevent it. I was able to fight the urge until then. Even when I was 22, it was because of food poisoning. I had fought the urge all day. Then when I finally got to where I couldn't take it anymore, I tried, but couldn't at that point. I remember it not being as bad as I thought however, I still freak out when I feel like it might happen.

[ewilkins]

And I should say I didn't...not I don't since I don't date anymore.

[katherines6]

Answering this question concerning friends, I tell my closest friends about my phobia but I have other close friends I haven't told. They all think im a germaphobe, i was so embarrased in class the other day because my teacher was talking about phobias and when she mentioned germophobia my friend taylor yelled "haha KATE!" really loud and looked at me I have a burning desire to ask all of my friends about their v*ing history but it could come across as a little weird. xD The other day my friend cheyenne got sick and i totally freaked out on her, let loose and totally started quizzing her about her v*ing experience and how it started and so on and so on. She's a really huggy person but i've told her she's in quarantine for at least a few weeks before I can feel safe going by her again. I've gotten off topic haven't I... XD Well I've never gone on a date or anything before but when I do I don't think I'll be able to resist asking them about if they v* a lot and tellling them about my emet. I mean, I'd tell them because if it turned out that they weren't okay with it, I would want to know right away instead of getting into a relationship and then finally telling them and having them break up with me because they didn't want to deal with it.

[mell]

I've never told anyone about my emet...
I would feel so weird telling someone, and they probably won't understand me.
And I could never ask someone when's the last time they v*ed.