Does anyone work in medicine?

[Malalcala]

Hello,

I am new to this site but I have been an emetophobic for as long as I can remember. Earlier i wrote a long and detailed post complete with funny antidotes and my life story. But tragically I managed to delete that... So the long and short of it is this: I am 28 and am currently a pre med post bacc student. I hope to apply to medical school next cycle (aprox 1 year from now). My emetophobia is absolutely a factor of why I did not consider this path earlier in life, but after years of consideration I came to the realization that this is truly something I feel called to do and I REFUSE to let fear be a deciding factor in my life. Up until now I have taken this process one step at a time. I figured there was no point worrying about dealing with patients vomiting if I couldn't pass physics. Well I have just completed my first year with straight A's in lectures (including physics! pretty amazing for me since I was an undergraduate theatre major) and I am feeling like it might be time to start working on the phobia. (this summer I hope to start volunteering in a hospital setting and while I most likely will not be in the ER or the oncology ward its probably best to assume I wont be "safe)

So my question is does anyone else out there work in medicine? (i have never come across a physician or nurse with this particular phobia although I have heard of those who feared blood)

Also at this time I can not afford therapy (although I do take anti anxiety meds as needed) In the future I would love to work with a specialist but at this tie I am researching self help methods (slow exposure ect have any of you had success with this?

I thank you in advance for your advice and wish you all well on your personal journey!
~M

[Hay]

Wow! You're so brave! (and extremely clever may I add)

I doubt you'll find anyone working in medicine here, emetophobics pretty much avoid any career involving ill people!

Out of interest, what is the slow exposure thing you're saying about? I had therapy with a psychologist which helped to some degree and was free ( I'm in UK and a teenager so it's free on the NHS)

Anyway, you are very cool to be so courageous to face your fear. Wish I could be more like you.

Good luck with your ambition, don't EVER give up, you are a total inspiration!

Hayleigh, 18.

[Malalcala]

Hi Hayleigh,

I knew it was a long shot asking seeing as I myself have avoided Illness at all cost for as long as I can recall. (I slept on the balcony in the middle of a chicago winter one time in college when my ex was sick and have jumped out of a moving vehicle when a sister became ill) But I really and truly believe that if I can work through this the rewards of a career in medicine (doing something I am fascinated with, connecting with people, having a meaningful effect on lives on a daily basis) will be worth the effort.
I actually found this forum as a link from this website emetophobiaresource.org
This therapist seems to have a very dense understanding of the phobia (having suffered from it herself) and while she recommends seeking treatment with a therapist she does offer resources including several books and has 12 levels of pictures available on her site (she makes it very clear that one should not try to go through them all at once just to see if you can....at this time I comfortable up to level 4) I have been in therapy in the past but before this I was not emotionally prepared to try any sort of exposure therapy, at this time I plan to tackle the pics and the book she recommends over the course of a few weeks or months...

As for being brave... I really and truly believe it is in us all to be brave. We just have to find the things that are worth being brave for : )
I have spent a long long time thinking about how this phobia has effected my life and I have come up with some rules which I try to follow
1. If i wasn't afraid of it before I wont be afraid now (As in if i didn't throw away the last bite of a french fry because I touched it before I am not going to start now)
2. Challenge myself (Last week I signed up to be a bone marrow donor, I know this will be miserable if I am called to donate BUT if i do get called it is because I could save a life and I think it would be worth being sick once or twice)
3. Forgive myself for failing (I still shake like crazy every time I go to the dentist and leave the room if someone is sick on TV and I have had a panic attack or two on the train but when all is said and done I have to let go of the failure and try to move on so even when I break these "rules" I don't hate myself for it)
4. Dont obsess, Just don't.

And that's what I've got so far ; )
Thank you so very much the words off support they are very kind!

Ok...I talk to much!

thank you again!
~M

[andee]

Don't mean to disagree with you Hay, but there are PLENTY of members here who are in the medical field, in all capacities! Malalcala, I am a medical assistant/phlebotomist and I applaud you for how far you've come. I, too, LOVE the medical field and it's the only thing I have wanted to do. Loved every minute of classes, training, etc. Unfortunately, when push came to shove and I began to work as a phleb. in a hospital setting, and encountered someone about to be sick, I couldn't handle it and had to quit the job. For me, my anxiety proved to be too much. That doesn't mean that it will happen to you, it really depends on the severity of your fear. Keep at it and just do your best...sounds like you have a lot of good ideas already! Take care...

[Hay]

I definately agree that it depends on the severity of one's fear. But I'm assuming for most emets, the fear is quite severe. And sorry, I vaguely assumed you meant face-to-face medical jobs. Hence, you probably wouldn't find emets working face-to-face with ill people, but many emets probably would work in the medical field, just not in direct contact!

I really like your personal rules and challenges, you've given me the idea to do something similar. I might makes up some rules, just not as ambitious as your own. "Do something everyday that you wouldn't usually do." I like that quote! I think I will take it in baby steps.

Good luck!

[Malalcala]

Thanks for you're response andee! Good to know there are people out there who understand how I could love medicine yet suffer from this phobia. As I mentioned I have undergone some therapy and while it didn't address the emetophobia specifically (my therapist told me I would just "get over it" when I have children......I decided that isn't a good enough answer for me considering I DO want children soonish and I do not want to drop them when they spit up, or worse, not to mention the whole medical school goal ; ) so here I am) I have had some help learning how to deal with overwhelming anxiety in general. (and I do take medication as needed for it, which greatly helps!) I absolutely worry that I will have the same problems you did and so I suppose I am sort of banking on being able to teach myself to get to a point that while my heart may race initially I can get things under control. (Im pinning a bit o hope on neural plasticity with the theory that I may be able to teach my brain to make new connections in response to frightening images????) I HAVE come a long, long way since I was a teenager (for me this was at it's worst in my adolescent and teen years, when i couldn't go to school and pretty much survived on pepto bismal ) and I have been lucky in that, my fear manifests itself truly just as FEAR (caps intended) I don't connect it with danger or death I know that if I do get sick the world is not going to end in fact when I am sick (which is rare) I deal a lot better than if a loved one is sick.
Anyway... I would love to know if you (andee) plan to keep your foot in the field??? If so have you tried anything you feel helps?

Hay, I think it would be great for you to make yourself a list! See if you can dissect your own fear a bit." Know thine enemy" and all that : )
My pre med advisor always says "it's a marathon not a sprint" (I ran a marathon a few years ago as part of my personal challenges list... I was convinced I would see people sick all over the place and funny thing was I did see a few icky things but I was so so so so so tired and determined to finnish that I just thought ACCCKKKKKK ewewewewewewwww and ran a bit faster and it turned out ok )

Best of luck!
~M

[kyphie]

I work in the medical field. I'm a lab technician and a medical assistant. I even worked for many years at a methadone clinic.

[Malalcala]

How does that work for you? Are you often exposed to vomiting? If so I would love to know your methods of dealing : ) (id like to hear them even if you're not often exposed)
~M

[Elski]

I'm a midwife and am constantly working with people who vomit. At first I didn't think I'd be able to do it and freaked whenever it happened but I stood my ground as I REFUSE to let this phobia stand in the way of my dreams. I guess as time went on, I became desensitized to it. Don't get me wrong, I still get a very fleeting surge of adrenaline each time someone does it, but I don't have to run and hide like I used to. I've come a long way.

The only thing I wouldn't be able to handle is someone vomiting due to noro.

[Malalcala]

Elski,
Thank you so very much for your response!!! That was exactly what I was hoping to hear! I too REFUSE to let this be a deciding factor in my dreams (id much much rather be defeated by organic chemistry or the MCAT)
I too have felt that I might be able to become desensitized. (noro freaks me out too but I think I can learn to handle that) Did you ever have an embarrassing situation where you had to run and hide? Or were you able to panic quietly in your head without letting your patient know? I am assuming it took a bit of time before you got to the place you are now?
Truly I am so glad to know other people out there live with this but have been able to work through it and be a good caregiver!

Thank you!!!

[andee]

Hi Malalcala,
Yes, I am currently undergoing exposure therapy mainly because I am tired of this fear interfering in my life to much and yes, I want to get back in the medical field eventually. Here's hoping...I feel like you as well, that I know I won't die or anything horrible, I just HATE and FEAR it so much from an experience when I was young. I analyze everything so I am pretty good at knowing my mind, but it can still sabotage me at times. Keep us posted!

[Elski]

Malalcala,
Well I've never fully freaked out in front of someone but at first, if they said they were feeling sick, I'd give them a bowl and say I was just going to fetch some more then leave the room and go back after a few minutes once it was done and dusted. Now, I can stand right next to them while it's happening and stand my ground with it. Everyone's got something they don't like, vomit, blood, urine, snot, poo. So I usually make light of it from the start and say to the woman's husband/birth partner "I do all bodily fluids - urine, poo, snot, liquor - but I don't do vomit so if she feels sick, you're holding the bowl" they're always fine with it and we all generally have a giggle about it.

I'd say from freaking out and making excuses to leave to room to where I am now probably took a couple of years but it's all about taking small steps. If you force yourself into a situation you can't handle too soon, it could backfire.

You can definitely do this! Good luck!!