Hello, I’m Kelly and I’m 19 years old. I just signed up to the forums hoping I can find some help and comfort in talking to people who have the same problem as me. I have been afraid of vomiting my whole life and I have not since I was about 4. I don’t remember how it feels and I would almost rather die than find out. I used to have a lot of anxiety years ago about it but it went away after a little while and I was back to my old self not worrying about it at all. But for the past 8 months it has been at its worse. Every day is a constant struggle of having stomach pains nausea and fearing that the worse could happen. I have constant panic attacks that can last for hours. I shake and cry uncontrollably and I can’t help but repeat to myself that this is it, it’s about to happen. Yet it has not, but it could the next time. I don’t even want to eat or drink anything anymore due to the fact that I feel like everything I put into my body will just make me get sick. I went to the ER last night and I was there for very bad stomach pains, increased heart rate and a slight fever. I haven’t eaten in over 3 days and I’ve barely been drinking anything. They found out that I have a bad uti and sludge-like sandy stuff in my gall bladder. I was proscribed a lot of medication to take but I am afraid of taking it because I fear it will make me nauseous and vomit. I’ve been proscribed Lexapro and Prozac (anxiety meds). The Lexapro left me with panic attacks at night and the Prozac has made me feel even sadder than I already am. I feel so stuck, like I am going to be like this for the rest of my life. Nothing has ever helped me relax and take a break from this ongoing fear and it makes me not want to live anymore. I can’t even leave the house or go out with my friends, it is taking over my life. Every day I wake up just wishing I was dead. It’s hard explaining this fear to people who don’t have it, they can’t understand. I’ve felt so alone, like I was the only person with this problem until I found this forum. If you have your own story or ways that have helped you relax and get your mind off it I would love to hear it.