OT: How do I get my friend to move out of my house?

[kristylee86]

Hey peeps,
Really need some advice right now and as much as I am one to speak my mind I'm hAving trouble with it right now. About a month a go my gf asked if she could stay at our house (I live with my hubby, no kids yet) as she had nowhere to stay and it was initially supposed to be for a week until she got paid and into this house she had lined up.

As I said that was a month ago. This friend is a dear friend of mine and has gone through a hell of a lot I the last 2 years including the passing of her 16month old, then childbirth, separation of partnership and being diagnosed with cancer. Now don't get me wrong I have a hell of a heart. She's a kiwi chick and she is tough as nails so it shouldn't be too rude for her to expect this convo to pop up...

On my side of things, hubby has been on nightshift for the last week and its been getting to me that my personal space doesn't feel so personal and relaxing, it's like i have to always be making myself "available" for conversation etc even if it be in the middle of my favourite tv show. We have had a lot of family stuff go on lately so we have had people staying at our house since end of August and I'm kind of sick of feeling like an open charity case/donor. I can understand how she is obviously getting comfortable she has the whole end of the house to herself, own toilet bedroom and bathroom only reason I go down that side of the house is to use the laundry.

So yeah, obviously initial said house fell through and she keeps saying its the worst time of year to look for rentals and she can't find anything bla bla, but in all honesty we don't think she is even trying to find something. I've sent her links to houses I've seen advertised etc to drop the hint to no avail. So I need suggestions on how we can approach it or just get her on the move on without being rude or nasty?

I really feel like we need our own time back as a married couple without running a hostel..

HELP! I will be open to answer any q's if needed to help me figure it out.

Sorry if its long and thank you heaps in advance for any advice x

[spilled_milk]

Why don't you talk to her and tell her what you just said to us? If she's as tough as you said, she'll understand. You don't have to say "be out tomorrow", but explain that you need your own space back and you think it's time she gets her own place to live, that you will help her out and give her another week or two to find something but that there is a deadline to how long she can stay. I bet you she will understand and also get her ass in gear! You don't have to be mean about it, just be calm and nicely explain that you love her but she has 1-2 more weeks to find a place.

[Lindsey_anne]

A friend of mine went through the same kind of thing and we would be trying to think of subtle hints she could use, in the end she just had an honest chat and explained that she needed to get back to normal and her friend was fine with it, moved out within the month! Just be honest and if she is a good friend she'll understand! Good luck with it all and I hope it works out for you x

[Valen]

Oh wow..good luck hun and so sad about her baby =/ my friend lived with me too, right after i got married..and i felt the exact same way. she didnt understand why i seemed so on edge all the time.. and it was bc i wanted/needed my married ppl time- and she wasnt to tht grown upy stage yet... then she got married and understood it all lol...but i would just talk to her honestly if i were u. maybe tell her u and ur hubby might start trying to get preg sooner than u thought, and ur gonna need the space and wat not../