new here, never been on a forum for this before. i think i'm getting worse.

[babyeyes]

This is my first time posting on a forum for this. I'm 25 and have had this phobia for as long as I can remember, it gradually got worse and worse. It probably reached it's worst point about five to six years ago - I was at a very panicky and anxious stage and it is also when i learned about hand sanitizers and how germs spread, etc. I seemed to get a bit better for a while after that, but i think i'm relapsing. I caught a --- last Winter which i think triggered it off again (though it truly never left).

And now winter is upon us and I am not coping well. I clam up at the mention of someone having the ---. i stop eating if someone in my house gets ill. I have also started to make sure i go round and wipe all the handles and everything with sanitizer after someone leaves, but it still feels as though it's not enough. my brother just came in and decided to tell me he's been unwell; i'm at my wits end. this stress is tearing me apart, making me ill, and making me depressed. i know i need help but i don't know what to do. I feel as though no one understands (my family try, but i feel it still makes most of them uncomfortable, and they don't always listen to me when i tell them to try and be careful of germs, and that just worries me more). I feel like a freak. i just don't want to live with this anymore.

[Absmum2be]

I know how your feeling. I'm the same... I don't have any advice as I'm in the same boat other then you're not alone. I know it doesn't help though. My family and partner doesn't understand and it is frustrating, I just hope one day it'll go! :-(. Chin up though... You're NOT alone!!!

[LittleFlo]

Darling you are not a freak - having a phobia is an long term illness just like any other, just because it is psychological it does not mean it is any less important in terms of you getting help and support. You will find much comfort in this place - I joined not too long ago and I have got through many a tough time through talking to people on here. You are here to be heard and hopefully by sharing our experiences and encouraging one another we can get through no one expects you to suddenly be totally cool with v* by next week! You have to do things at your own pace. I'm 22 now, was at my worst when I was about 15 though when I virtually stopped eating (like you I was living with my family at the time and it caused a lot of tension and frustration on both sides, so I understand). But over the years it got better. It probably will for you too get yourself a good therapist. And don't feel ashamed about it either. But also remember you have much more strength and will power in you than you realize. Even when you're at your lowest, you WILL get through. We are all in this together xxx