Hey
Well ok lets start at the start, I went to Manchester where i planned to stay for 2 months but things...didn't work out. A small part of it was cos the woman I stay with was always saying she felt ill and her mum was sick. But that was only a small part i promise. I wouldn't let emet ruin things. But anyway I came back to Scotland.
My stomach is messed up. My anxiety has been a little heightened and I was coping. My stomach gets sore when I am hungry, I dont feel hunger just pain. I think it's cos I didnt eat well in Manchester.
SO tonight I woke up feeling....not right. I got up and got gum, but ended up gagging over the toilet. I really thought this was it. which felt unfair sinceI didn't even feel THAT sick! The gagging stopped. Now my stomach is sore but I am not panicked. But when I gagged I just lost it and sobbed because it felt so unfair I had followed my rules (no meat etc) and yet I was still sick.
The anxiety is gone now and I'm just sleepy but I'm very scared this willbecome a regular thing. I have never made myself gag from anxiety before, but then I have never gagged without V* before so it makes no sense. I thought I knew my body but this is new on me!
If I had truely felt sick I would probably have wanted to be ill and get it out, but I didn't which is why i think I panicked so hard. It just seems lately that my panics are hard and fast LOL like before i knew it was coming and learned to cope and now they come...Boom horrible anxiety from no where and then gone again. In my day to day I dont feel that anxious. I'm coping with life things.
Anyway sorry for the babble. I just need to know why this is happening and what i can do now so it wont be worse and also WHY did I gag? My body is mean to me lol
xxxxxx
Be courageous, believe in yourself, and be the best woman you can be. I'm with you all the way.