A question for Sage

[samara's on tv]

I just got a new counselor. I had to switch therapists because of money related issues. Anyway I get along with her very well. She's very nice and we seem to click with each other. I told her about my Emetophobia and I want her help with overcoming it but I don't know how to approach the subject. It's not like it's hard for me to talk about I can say the V* word and other words that mean the same thing and be fine with it...to a point. I can't talk about it excessively or else I start to get N*. Anyway my question is this...how do I get her to talk about it with me? I mean do I just come right out and say "This is my issue and we need to work on it"? I sent her some information on it and I'm hoping that will break the ice. Any suggestions on bringing up the topic?


~Monica

[sage]

sending your therapist info is a good icebreaker indeed. I suggest printing out the "Info for your doctor" piece I wrote (perhaps you did that) and then give it to her the end of a session, and tell her you'll talk about it next session. Start the next session by asking HER what she thought about the info. Is she's a good therapist, she will continually turn the questions around to her, but you can gently let her know that for just this once you're interested in hearing what she has to say, particularly how she believes treatment should be approached.


We emetophobes have 'learned' a great deal of shame around this phobia and it gets hooked into the fear. It can be 'unlearned' however. I usually coach people to think about it like you and your therapist are both sitting on the same side of a table, sleeves rolled up, looking at the problem together. This puts an image of a little more equality in the session. We often go to therapy feeling like children with our parents, and some therapists are no help in this. I know it's easier for me, as I'm older (46) and began therapy with a therapist about my own age. But even still, remember you are her equal. She needs you to help her just as much as you need her to help you.


Good luck - and let us know how it goes. It will help and inspire others.