Might be a touchy subject, but want some opinions.

[KellyBelly]

Hi guys,

So I just saw this mentioned on another thread and wanted to get some opinions. I've pondered for the past 6 months or so about whether or not I could have some mild (if that's possible) PTSD symptoms regarding the first time I *v'd two years ago. It was the first time I ever had in my whole life, and it was scarring for several reasons although I won't get into those (graphic.) When I start getting really panicky, it's like I'm right back in that moment. I can see/feel/hear everything and it's just horrendous. I remember everything I was wearing, how I was laying bed, the exact time on the clock. Every time I start to feel the slightest hint of nausea, which we all know is frequent with emet, I'm just transported back to those hours and I can't escape. It exacerbates my panic tremendously, because I'm convinced that history is going to repeat itself identically. I won't go near the pajamas I was wearing, and I sometimes have sudden flashbacks when I walk into the bathroom or down the hallway in my house.
I know that clearly most people who have PTSD have suffered from real, severe trauma, but since I have always been extremely anxious/prone to panic since I was a young child, I'm wondering if my mind could consider that event traumatic enough.
I've never been evaluated by a psychiatrist regarding my emet, but I'd like to at some point. If anyone has any input on this, I'd really appreciate it. Also, I certainly hope I haven't offended anyone by bringing this up. I'm not trying to reduce the significance of PTSD by saying I could have symptoms from something as "ordinary" as *ving...I'm just genuinely curious what other people think.

[AoD]

Well, I guess it could be argued that what is considered "traumatic" is different for everyone. Some people have different "weaknesses" that will scar them more, and some people are simply more resilient and they will not develop PTSD even when exposed to events that would be considered traumatic. They're better at coping, whereas you might have more trouble with that in general. I mean, it's normal to have memories of unpleasant events when faced with certain triggers (when I see a towel I v* on it brings back bad memories), but if it goes beyond a momentary recall it might be more serious. Your symptoms (severe anxiety, flashbacks) do seem to be consistent with PTSD, but I'm not a professional so it's just my personal opinion. You really ought to be evaluated by a psychiatrist, from what I read they have some pretty decent treatments for that type of problem.

[jkl81]

I think if one of the trained therapists were here they'd agree with you. Some of recovered emet and practicing therapist "Sage's" posts about v* lead you to think in that direction. One theory about how emetophobes are created is that we didn't v* much as children or we were punished when we did or something different from the experience where most/many kids v* a lot and come to see it as a normal but unpleasnat part of life. The only problem with that is that a fair amount of the emets I know v* a fair amount as kids or even as adults and teenagers. Also a lot of other people are non v*ers but not emetophobic. I don't think it should be insulting to suggest it's mild PTSD. For sure not as scarring as war or some other intense trauma, but if you are an adult or teenager and never v* in your life, I imagine it would be as scary as it is for all of us who fear it and on top of that highly unfamilar. Seriously traumatic.

[jab788]

Several of my therapists said its a form of PTSD, and I agree. I do have flashbacks myself, quite often. Like AoD said, trauma is different for everyone.

[jennjt]

I definitely get those flashbacks from the last time I v*... I can actually vividly remember many times being exposed to v*. Sometimes it is as if I can't get the thoughts to go away-- they just pop up, and no matter what I do, the scene plays out in my head. All 5 senses play a part, and it totally freaks me out-- I remember everything about it, and if it goes too far, the feelings are the same within my body. I have not wanted to say PTSD, either, because I have a good friend who suffers due to the war in Iraq-- I am afraid I would insult him, you know? But, honestly, our symptoms are the same... I just feel like here is the only place I can admit it? So, yes, I totally believe it. i have often wondered about the non-v* being a factor in emet-- I rarely v* as a child. Can only remember 2 times from being sick? And those were both in the 2nd grade, within 3 weeks of each other, and is when I remember my emet kicking in, big time. Since, I have only v once more from actually being sick (drunk v* doesn't count since I don't remember...). The last time was just very traumatic for me, and I wish I could forget it