my 12 year old daughter

[brunov143]

Good morning,
I need some help with how I can calm my daughter about her fear of puking in public. She got sick in the bathroom stall a few weeks ago and ever since then she's been super nervous about getting on the bus, and going to school in general. She feels like no one will be able to help her if she starts to throw up.

I've said all I feel I could say to her to try and make her relax about it and I don't want her to develop an anxiety issue about this.

Please help.

Val

[Ana Bellini]

That sounds like me Val.

First, you have to understand why she fears it. Loss of control, weakness, shame, maybe? Ask her about it, so you can help her better. What I can say without knowing more about your daughter is that she needs her parents to be there for her. It's so much easier!

Tell her that no one will blame her if she vomits because no one can fully control it and she'll feel better after she's done.

Any chances she could write to us about her fear?

[Grace47]

I'm so sorry your daughter had a fright. Ana is right. It's a biological function that no one can help (unless they have an eating disorder). There's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone understands no one plans to be ill. Coming here may help.

[emet-ana]

hi Brunov143,

Maybe talk through what happened with her and what she felt at each point.
Then talk to her about how it could be different if it happened again e.g. usually you get some notice that you're going to be sick and perhaps she could phone you or she could ask someone to phone you, she could carry a little plastic/paper sick bag with her in case she is taken off guard, if she has severe stomach cramps she could go to the medical room/nurse's office and asked to be taken home.
Explain that it's quite rare to be taken off guard and be sick like she was without very much notice and that it doesn't happen very often at all so it's not that likely to happen again.

See how things go

[ditchy_jon]

Good morning,
I need some help with how I can calm my daughter about her fear of puking in public. She got sick in the bathroom stall a few weeks ago and ever since then she's been super nervous about getting on the bus, and going to school in general. She feels like no one will be able to help her if she starts to throw up.

I've said all I feel I could say to her to try and make her relax about it and I don't want her to develop an anxiety issue about this.

Please help.

Val

Hi Val,

Its doesn't sound like you daughter is developing a phobia as generally people start pobias at a much younger age. However as you quite rightly say, she does have a fear of vomiting in public. This is an absolute normal response to possible embarrassment, Loss of Control or Shame. Being supportive is the best way forward. Allow you daughter to approch you to talk about it and when she does, just advise her that these things can happen but are very rare and not to worry about it. You will most likely find that after many trips out like going on the bus etc, her fear will get less and less, until the fear goes.

[hairyfairy]

I think most times we can control vting, at least adults can. I feel guilty about not controlling it in the past, because I know that I upset & offended people by vting when I was younger.