get rid of it or avoid it?

[mia3]

How many people out there want to get over the phobia but are
afraid to? How many people would rather just avoid it and just
get by?

[Eternity]

Of course we want to avoid it.. who wants to confront something they fear? If fear made us want to do that then it wouldnt be functional... in evolutionary terms the ppl who were best at avoiding logical fears like preditors and dark and deep water if you couldnt swim, were the ones that survived.


But in real terms though, I think maybe sometimes we just get tired? Its alright wanting to be better, but when it takes all of your energy to pry yourself out of bed most days where dyou find the strength always to fight?

[samara's on tv]

Sometimes I think it would be better to just avoid it. But then again I'm mostly afraid of myself V*ing. It's hard to avoid a fear when you are constantly wondering will you or won't you. I avoid other people doing it very well, I live alone and I spend most of my time alone. I lived in a group home for a while where one of the tenants was bulemic. It was terrible, but some how, some way, I almost got used to her V*ing. No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, it was right in my face day after day. I actually sort of got used to hearing someone gag. Since I lived in the group home I haven't seen or heard anyone else V* except for on TV and in Movies. But I want to get treated I want to face my fear...to me avoidance is not much of an option.


~Monica

[peachfeet]

YES! and no. There are pro's and con's to this phobia. For one, I certainly would not want to have my O.C.D taken away. I enjoy being overly neat and clean. I function so much better in a spotless environment. Also with the benefit's of Emetophobia is the more alert and precise sensor's that detect any odor from spoiled food. Cautious of what I eat has prevented me from suffering food poisoning. I also enjoy being overly-hygienic. Always washing hands, taking showers, etc. Keeping tissues in my back-pockets and purse for emergency filter's in case someone nearby coughs or sneezes. No one else I've met has done that! And the people who are less concerned always end up being sick once a month.


No. . .well that should be obvious. The grueling task of panic. I would certainly breath freely without worrying whether "tonight is the night!" instinct. Having to wake up at 3 AM suffering from paranoia. The pacing, lurking, reassurances, security in home. That's difficult to live with. But overall I've learned to cope with it, and if I had my choice I'd rather stick with this phobia then suffer with a completely new, differentfear where it would perhaps take another few years to master and control. Edited by: peachfeet

[chicajojobe]

I know this is one thing that's probably keeping me from getting
completely better but I'll be honest and admit that, yeah, I would
rather just avoid it. If it weren't interfering with my life I wouldn't
care about being an emet. It's when it starts making me miserable, that
I hate it.



It's strange but I sort of feel like if I start being okay with
vomiting, it means I'll start doing it all the time. Yes, I know that's
a stupid idea but since when is this phobia logical? [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[japa]

See, I'm not trying to be rude here, but I see that you do believe that your OCD protects you in these ways. However, I question whether any of this is really protecting you. I am a slob. I rarely clean. I wash my hands after using the restroom, but that's about it. I eat whatever I feel like eating and don't monitor. Yet, I haven't had a cold for almost four years. I honestly don't remember having any stomach viruses in my life. I haven't vomited since I was five years old, and I am 33 now.


I might offer the person who coughed or sneezed nearby a tissue, but I wouldn't want to use one myself to avoid germs from them. Sometimes people just have to cough or sneeze, and it does not mean that they are going to spread something to you. Being human can be a messy business sometimes, but I don't want to isolate myself from other people or constantly fear what they might emit.


Ultimately, I don't think that it is true that those who don't follow your precautions are sick at least once a month.

YES! and no. There are pro's and con's to this phobia. For one, I certainly would not want to have my O.C.D taken away. I enjoy being overly neat and clean. I function so much better in a spotless environment. Also with the benefit's of Emetophobia is the more alert and precise sensor's that detect any odor from spoiled food. Cautious of what I eat has prevented me from suffering food poisoning. I also enjoy being overly-hygienic. Always washing hands, taking showers, etc. Keeping tissues in my back-pockets and purse for emergency filter's in case someone nearby coughs or sneezes. No one else I've met has done that! And the people who are less concerned always end up being sick once a month.

Edited by: japa

[jesskali]

I tell myself all of the time that I would do anything to get rid of this phobia, but deep down I really think I just want to avoid it. I'm scared of getting help due to what I might have to face (exposure therapy)!

Jess

[peachfeet]

Those are my rituals I have established in which I am able to function accordingly, Japa. I have never once stated if people do not follow those guidelines they are deemed to fatality and contaminated with lethal parasites and illness.


In medical studies, keeping your hands daily washed, environment sanitary, and precautious in crowdscan decrease the chance of infection. So you haven’t gotten sick. Are you going to speak for everyone else in the world? Perhaps you never got exposed to a virus, or your immune system is stronger and more eligible than others. I’m not trying to be rude, but explain to you that my precaution is just what I feel is safe. As a fellow Emetophobic, you should understand the blanket of comfort when reassured. I have chronic O.C.D. and this is just my way of thinking.


I am not anti-social and succumb my world behind closed curtains. I’m a very outgoing person and cannot stay in a house for far too long. When someone coughs or sneezes around me I become concerned. Coughing or sneezing I have concreted association’s to bacteria. I am a germanphobic - someone acutely afraid of germs. This is just what I do. The possibility of someone getting sick when not protecting themselves is slim, sure.


The once of month thing was a figure of speed. Perhaps I should have made that more clear.


I don’t want to sound harsh. This is an implicit disagreement. Neither one is right or wrong.


Edited by: peachfeet

[swiftette]

Wow, this is a tough question. It always seems easier to avoid a problem but in the long run, you're only kidding yourself if you think you're "getting by" .Because it only gets worse with time. It's like my belly. It's all fat and stretched out from having my kids. And as I age, guess what? It's only getting more flabby. But, even though I hate it, itISstill a part of me. I could exercise more and that would help a little or If I had an extra 10 grand laying around, AND if I did'nt mind the pain, I could get a tummy tuck. But it's kind of easier just to accept it. That is kinda how I feel about this phobia. I want it gone but it would be so hard, I've been this way for sooo long and even the thought of it makes me anxious. Is'nt that crazy?you'd figure I'd have jumped on this question and say "Hell yeah I want it gone!"

[sage]

In my "research" I have found that a common belief of the people who hang around this website is that they'd rather avoid everything to do with the phobia than to work on getting rid of it. Not that I'm judging the wonderful folks who are here. For many of you, it is almost a subconscious thing...i.e., you sayyou want to be cured...or that you've "tried therapy" but "it didn't work". Now I know that there are sometimes factors of not being able to afford treatment, or not having access to a decent therapist...right up to the problem of being burnt by an idiotic therapist and gun-shy to try again. Nevertheless, there are people here by the dozens who are either in treatment and it's not "working", or they are avoiding treatment at all costs.


But hundreds - maybe up into the thousands now come to this website, get information, perhaps post a few times - then they go merrily off, enriched perhaps, and many of them seek treatment and are cured of it. Some just avoid the website, like everything else to do with vomit, but lots and lots decide they don't want it in their life anymore, and get it treated.


I'm just sharing this observation so that you will know...that if it ever gets really tough then you can begin with the basic line of thinking: I do not want this in my life anymore. I will do anything to be rid of it.


That's the real key to it all. Everything else is just avoidance of the symptoms and triggers...which works quite well for some, and not very well at all for others. Ways of avoiding not so obvious are: seeking "reassurance", continual cleanliness and avoidance of germs, asking constantly about stomach viruses - if they're "around"; asking about stomach remedies, rather than phobia remedies.


I think that it's a good thing to admit to the fact that you're at the stage in your life where you want to avoid as much as possible. This may not last forever. But there are times in life when that's really the best option. It's a way of coping when the anxiety in your life is just too high to take on anything more, including your own healing.


So it's better to know you're avoiding, and make the best of it. When the time comes and you say "enough already", then you'll really mean it. And the results will be astounding.

[Eternity]

"Its not working" God that could be my punchline.
Why in the world did I expect meds to 'work' (aka cure everything...) ?

Hmm. Sage I think youd be quite something to know in real life. Edited by: Eternity

[japa]

Are you going to speak for everyone else in the world?

No, I am certainly not going to speak for everyone else in the world. I spoke for myself in my post.


Were you speaking for everyone else in the world here with your figure of speech??

And the people who are less concerned always end up being sick once a month.

I have now descended into blatant rudeness. Edited by: japa

[japa]

Actually this is one of my points. I don't know why I have not gotten sick. It could be any reason in the world. However, the same thing applies to you. You can't really know why you have not gotten sick either only you attribute it to the precautions because that makes you feel safe as though you are controlling things.

So you haven’t gotten sick. Are you going to speak for everyone else in the world? Perhaps you never got exposed to a virus, or your immune system is stronger and more eligible than others.

[japa]

No, definitely not "deemed to fatality and contaminated with lethal parasites," but your post did state explicitly that those who are less concerned with the protocols of cleanliness will be sick more frequently. And I pointed out that that is not necessarily true.


I took issue with your post in the first place for two reasons:


1) I felt insulted by the implication (really the statement) that those who "are less concerned" are "sick once a month."


2) I don't think that there are any pros or positive points to emetophobia except for the ones that people invent and rationalize about in order to avoid giving up the phobia.

I have never once stated if people do not follow those guidelines they are deemed to fatality and contaminated with lethal parasites and illness.

Edited by: japa

[yenn]

I'd LOVE to get rid of my phobia and I'm trying so hard at the moment, with the help of my counsellor and I really have faith that one day I will be free. The one concern I have is that if the phobia goes, I will start getting sick.....but then if I'm not phobic, that won't matter will it?!

[sweetness]

I want to be free of it. But if im free of it and then i get sick....


its a vicious circle.


x

[sage]

Yen and Sweetness,


This kind of "faulty thinking" that is going around in circles in your brains will contribute to a lifetime of suffering for you. First of all, you will NOT get sick more because you're cured of the phobia. People without emetophobia - the ones who "don't like vomiting" only do it once every 20 or 30 years. So do emetophobes!


Secondly, it's ALSO true that while you will still care if you get sick (I know I do!) you will not be PARALYZED WITH FEAR anymore about it. Which is the point of getting it treated.


It's just a superstitious myth that your phobia 'helps you' stay healthy. It simply isn't true. And this faulty belief system is ruining your life.


I KNOW it's hard to comprehend...you sort of have to say it over and over to yourself on a daily basis until you start believing it.


All the best!

[swiftette]

But where do you start Sage?I really want to know-not being sarcastic.

[sweetness]

Yeh sage. I have no idea where to start.


My mother, who i lvoe dearly, will think i am over exaggerating. She will think it needless that i see someone. I am almost 19, and i know i can go see someone by myself, but i feel like an attention seeker. I dont think i am, but i dont want to be perceived that way.


x

[Jenneh]

good discussion...


at the moment i am avoiding life... i'm avoiding going out.. i'm avoiding doing everything i want to do. because of this god damn phobia.


but it all changes... TODAY!


i'm starting exposure therapy and i'm forcing myself to go out places. with my sister. with my boyfriend. with my parnts. with my friends. i'm not hiding away anymore. i fought and fought.. i've had a rest.. now its back to fighting and fighting.


i am going to get rid of this. end of story.


Jen xxxx

[sage]

If you can't start with a good therapist (who will help you break this cycle of faulty thinking), then start with the book by Bourne "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook". Work diligently through every exercise, just as he suggests. It's one way to get some control back in your life.


ALSO, the "thinking" cure isn't INSTANT. You have to actually re-train your brain synapses to hook up a different way.So you have to tell yourself over and over and over...whatever it is that isn't logical. "I am in NO DANGER""I'm afraid, but I'm safe"...stuff like that. I used to have a little card with stuff like this written on it, and I carried it around with me, referring to it 24/7 ...lol.

[01hiroj]

Heya people


i am new to this and i am only 15 but the fact is if we keep avoiding things to make ourself not be ill we are never going to get better. I absolutely hate this phobia and i have only recently ben diagnosed as having OCD. I always wash my hands and clean and watch my mum cook, check datese.t.c because i am so scared of being ill.


I have just bin going through life doing things to avoid being ill but i have just realised that if i keep on going like this i am never going to get better because i am not facing up to my fears. I am currently going through cognative therapy which is helping me face up to my fears. Its not scary or that hard because you take it at steps at a time and at your pace. Please think about this though and remember you can change, it will be hard and horrible but if you stick to it and try not to do the things you do to avoid being ill you can get rid of this horrible phobia. i dont know about you but i am fed up of it ruining everything so i want to get rid of it!!!


good luck [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]xxx