Arrrgh!

[x hannah x]

Ok I'm in such a bad mood today because I have lost count of the number of times my family and friendshave said something along the lines of me needing to "snap out of it" when it comes to emet. There have been so many incidences now and it just makes me want to cry every time.


Like last night, I was watching tv with my sister and I was watching a program that probably only uk people know of called Blackadder with Rowan Atkinson and I find it hilarious. Anyways, this episode was about him having a drinking game and I was stationed near the door as usual when I think there is a risk of v*. I tried to be subtle about it, but my sister saw me and was like "Hannah don't be pathetic, if you're going to be stupid I'm leaving" so against my better judgement I sat back down, and then suddenly one of the people v*ed, u didn't see or hear anything but I didn't know that so I ran off and when I came back and asked if it was safe my sister said that she wasn't going to give me any more attention than I was already getting and that it wasn't like it was even a real phobia as I didn't have panic attacks I just freaked out and I was still able to go out and do things. And I wasn't going to sit and explain to her that the "Freaking out" was a panic attack and that yeah I went out, but it was never easy,because I was so angry and upset cos she keeps saying things like that so I just walked off.


My parents do it too, like the other day when we were all going to the cinema andI looked up the screenit and it was fine so I washappy. Then when we got there they wanted togo and see a different film instead and I hadn't looked it up yet so I was trying to get them to the other film, and when they asked why and I told then my dad said "But we took you to that woman, you're cured now" and oh my God, just because I went to therapy which I found a total waste of time for like a month does not make me cured!


Even my friends when they're tring to be nice, go over the top about it, like when my geography tacher was talking about a school trip and said we might go whale watching and one of my friends said, "Would Hannah have to do it because she might get scared that someone would be seasick, she has a phobia of it" and ok it was nice of her to think of me but I could have asked myself, or she could have been more subtle, asked if everyone had to do it or something. Besides I wanted to go.


I don't no, maybe I'm just a horrible person but I felt the need to vent. Thanks for reading all this.

[small_is_specia]

no way are you a horrible person, at least thats not the impression I
get from reading what you've written. you're family probably don't know
how to deal with it, maybe don't fully understand. nobody in my family
knows, I tried telling my Mum, she doesn't believe a word of it, so I
sort of know how you're feeling. PM me if you like, would be nice to
have someone to talk to. Luv Me xxx

[samara's on tv]

I'm sorry people treat you like that. My parents are rather understanding when it comes to my phobia and my friends are nice about it too. I was blessed with a good support group. Just ignore them, I'm sure that they have OTHER phobias that you don't know about that they have to deal with on a daily basis. Don't sweat it.


~Monica

[matchstix]

I'm sorry Hannah, that sounds really bad... when I was younger, people, especially boys would come up to me and make v*ing noises and think it was hilarious, they used to do it loads and tease me and i rememjber once, I was sitting with my friend on a coach and she v*d so of course I was crying n all over the place and everyone turned on me, telling me I was selfish and that I was trying to steal tha attention from the girl that was ill!!! have you ever heard so much rubbish? but my family have always been ok with it more or less... I hope you're ok...

[x hannah x]

Thanks for replying, matchstix that thing on the bus sounds horrible.

[yenn]

hey hannah, i also get problems like you from people's bad attitudes. I was told one day at work by my boss that I "need to find something real to worry about" and my parents regularly use they "Why are you afraid of something you can't control" line which makes it worse as we know. If you ever need to talk, IM me

[SimplyMe]

I'm sorry you're feeling misunderstood. It's unfortunate that sometimes people dismiss anything out of their norm. It hurts when those people are the ones you love. Maybe you could tell your friend thanks you appreciate her looking out for you but ask her to not be so obvious in the future and htat it embarrassed you? Either way you are NOT a horrible person! You just want to be understood and unfortunately alot of people dont' understand this phobia. Even tho it sucks to not get thru to people remember that you are still a wonderful person who happens to have a phobia that more people than admit have (hey there's an entire site dedicated to it lol) you are just brave enough to be open about it. Good luck!

[fliss]

[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]Hi Hannah,


I know exactly how you are feeling. Do not let your family and friends get you down, as they simply dont understand. I also have had comments that I am stealing attention. And I cant even bare to be in the same room as anyone else whilst watching the TV as I know I will freak if someone gets s* and I dont want them to see it.


I also have extreme phobia of watching TV documentaries and programmes like casulty-even the music terrifies me! And the therapist, I have seen over 5 now and all have been a waste of space, and I truely sympathise with how you must feel when your dad says something like that. That doesnt mean you're cured (we wish [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]) but they just dont understand.


Keep positive, addme to your MSN if you want to talk,


Fliss,[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


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