A control Issue?

[samara's on tv]

I was talking to my therapist about my Emetophobia and she suggested that it might be a control issue. I was wondering how many people out there think that might be the same reason for them. I mean my whole life I've felt out of control of things that happened to me. I actually started smoking because I knew my parents couldn'tstop me from doing that. Sure they could take my cigarettes, yell at me, punish me, but as soon as I went to school I could smoke again and they couldn't stop me. I went through a HELL of a hard time during HIghschool, and in years before that.Upuntil now I wasn't in control of ANYTHING about my life. A year ago I was kicked outof my house. I bounced around in group homes(Group homes SUCK they tell you WHAT to do and WHEN to do it andif youdon't do it you'rein a world of trouble) but now that I'm on my own and I can do things when I want I'm finally in control of my life. You'd think that would cause my Emet to go away but it's worse then ever! Is it possible that I need to be in control SO BAD thatit's causing my Emet? Does anyone else think it's a control issue for themselves? Any advice is welcome!


~Monica

[aluciddreamer03]

I don't think it's a control issue for me, however my therapist suggested the same thing your did.





Danny T.

[hippychick]

It is definately a sort of control issue for me. My life has also been very beyond my control for a very long time. Now I already had this phobia when I was little but It was liveable, I could V* and not panic, i didn't like it but I dealt. But then from the age of 10 maybe things in my life were beyond any control and my phobia got steadily worse. Even now if my life is stressful, if I have job interviews or something I'm nervous about my stomach issues resurface. What lead to my complete breakdown was the thought of going to uni. Everyone was deciding all this stuff for me, everything was happening so fast and was so scary that I focused more and more on my stomach and obsessing whether I was ill.


Usually if I have been more nervous than usual I examine whats going on in my life and there is usually something. The more stress/out of control my life feels in general the more i try and control my stomach and panic over it.Edited by: hippychick

[alliecat]

It is definitely a control issue for me, among other things. Gah! Its so annoying. But the reason I know this is because I don't like not being able to control my body which is why I hate bad germs (I can control the cleanliness though), and I don't drink or do drugs or anything like that (I can control not putting them in my body to begin with...). I don't know... I am starting to kind oftrace my really bad anxiety back to a bad mushroom tripI had a little over a year ago. Because that is when it got so bad. I had taken way too much and I was feeling very strange and sick and I just felt so bad that I literally wanted to die or for someone to kill me rather than keep feeling the high. That is how bad it was. I had never wanted to die so badly in my entire life. That is also when I stopped experimenting with anything recreational. I didn't go furter than pot or mushrooms or booze... but now I don't touch any of it, and just the thought of it makes me cringe.,, but yeah. A little bit of an explanation. Anyone have any input or similar situations?


<3 Allie

[aguerra29]

My emet is definitely about control. I want to be in control of everything and everyone. i have always been bossy and spoiled.It's my way or the highway. I don't like being told what to do and don't really want help from anyone. When you vomit is the one thing I cannot control. (well, maybe I can I haven't thrown up in over 20 years) Anyway, it is ALL about control for me.

[crazy_me_84]

I'm an extreme perfectionist and feel the need to always be in control.I've never really considered if this was related to the phobia but now you've mentioned it, Ithink that it is related because v*ing is something you cannot control. Maybe thats why I freak out and panic when I feel the 'odd' sensations because if its reallygoing tohappen, it probably will.


I'll think some more... Something to discuss with my pscyhologist when I see her next...


Thanks [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Annabel


xxx

[SimplyMe]

Yes, I think for me too there is some control issue at the core. I jsut wish I could figure it out and get rid of emet. I am so "controlled" in a way by emet and by my own thoughts and "rules" it drives me nuts.

[2jo2]

Most definately for me. I am the type of person that has to plan everything and if things go awry or off plan, I get all frustrated. I like to be in control of my environment, and sv's are one thing that definately can spoil that. This is fine and everything, but knowing this fact has not helped my emet.

[sage]

It drives me nuts when therapists say this. It's not that I disagree with the concept, it's just...the WAY they say it. They say it like "you have 'control issues' and everyone else doesn't". This just isn't true. EVERYONE, if they come to believe or feel that things are out of control, will have an "issue" with it. This is because the human organism knows damn well it's in danger if things are out of control - if there is some sort of chaos around, and you are helpless to do anything about it. Your beloved therapist, if put in the right sitation, would also have "control issues". What pisses me off is that they aren't ISSUES!!!! GAAAAAAAAAKKKK!!!!


Okay, I feel better now. All that notwithstanding, do I believe that emetophobics FEEL out of control? Absolutely. What HAPPENS when ANYONE feels out of control? Anxiety! duh! Given enough of a life of feeling out of control, or enough stuff coming together to contribute to it at a young enough age, and you got yourself a bouncing baby phobia. For some it's emetophobia, for others it's anything on the multiple-phobia list. Most of it comes down to the "luck of the draw" that for us it was emet, for another it's panic disorder, social phobia, fear of insects, flying, sex, heights, the great outdoors. Sometimes an incident with vomiting will figure in there, sometimes not.


Anyway, it IS helpful for EVERY PERSON to explore in therapy wherein they feel/felt out of control. Working on that, even by itself, will lessen the anxiety in general, and eventually help the emet. So sort of just...go along with the therapist and don't worry about arguing the point or being insulted (as you can tell by now, I was!) I worked on the earliest childhood experiences of times when THINGS around our family were just OUT OF CONTROL and I felt HELPLESS. That helped me a lot.


As for your reasoning, Samara...that because once you were "in control of your own life" the emet didn't get better - well, the argument doesn't quite hold water. This is because even though you're in control of your life NOW...you certainly weren't in your early experience (how awful! you poor thing!) and so in a sense, because as adult humans we are also the sum total of ALL of our experience....you STILL are not in control of THAT (the early stuff). Hope that made sense. Anyway, working with your therapist to heal the pain of that terrible early experience will help you feel less helpless, which is a sort of sister-feeling to "out of control". Good luck! All the best!