I figured I should share my story with everyone, since other people
have been sharing their's. Plus, I don't post much here, though I
probably should, because it may help to get these feelings out to
people who actually understand how I feel. Anyway, this is my story of
how I try to live with emetophobia:
I'm not really sure how this came to be, but it's causing a lot of hell
in my life. The earliest I remember being an emetophobic was back in
1st grade. I was so nervous, that I would make myself feel sick. I
screamed and cried so much and begged my mother not to make me go to
school. I was so afraid I was going to get sick there. I was so bad
that the principal had to carry me into the school while I struggled to
get away. Over the years, I've had the typical afraid to ride buses,
afraid to go on field trips, afraid to go to amusement parks, afraid to
do whatever syndromes. I went to many a doctor, hoping it would cure
all of this. One of them gave me some medication, which actually helped
a little for that year (actually, it was for depression, but it did
help with the phobia). Another one tried to send me to the mental ward
at the hospital. I instantly ran away from that idea (Though I sort of
wish I went now). I really wish the one hadn't taken me off of the
medication, though, because this year is absolute pain. In the
beginning of 10th grade, I felt alright. The second month, I would get
a little woozy in this one class, mainly because all the kids there
would belch and laugh about v*. Eventually, I felt sick the entire day
and after time I could barely bring myself to go to school. I felt so
embarassed when the teachers handed me this big packet of work to make
up. I was known as "that girl who's never here." Worst of all, my
parents thought it was just me trying to skip school, because I didn't
want to go that day. My mom would get mad and yell at me for it, but I
would still try to convince her that I really did feel sick. Soon
enough, it got so bad that I had to be taken out of school completely.
In short, it was an extremely painful process. There were many doubts
of me being able to be taken out of public school, which caused me a
lot of stress and tears. The board of education was really nasty about
it, but with determination, I was able to be home schooled. That made
me feel a lot better. But then I slowly began to get worse and worse.
I'd start feeling sick in public places, more and more each time until
I couldn't go too far anymore. But at least I could roam around town,
right? For a little, anyway. Soon, I was so afraid to go far from home,
that I stayed in my own neighbourhood. Just this month, it got so bad
that now I can't even leave the house. And even in the house I feel
sick. I don't even eat much anymore. Only once a day and something like
a piece of bread or some soup. I just can't bring myself to eat
anything. The nausea overpowers everything. Emetophobia has driven me
crazy, it honestly has. And to this, add some extreme depression, some
other minor phobias, and loss of all two local friends (I don't feel
close to them, anymore. They've changed. But I guess that's what
happens when you don't see them for 6 months). And there you have my
everyday life. Right now, I'd do almost anything to get my old life
back.
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