Feeling overwhelmed..

[LaurenCasey]

As some of you may have seen on a previous post, I'm traveling to Australia for live and work for six months and I leave in three weeks.

My emet and anxiety had got to a point where it had consumed me and my daily life. Relationships were failing, family were struggling, I was signed off work, I had no social life, I was just a 'nobody.' I decided I needed to take drastic action before I slipped into a dark place and that was when I decided that I was going to go to Australia. I was going to fight, be brave and do something for myself.

While I am so excited about my trip, about getting out of my routine and hopefully getting out of this depressing rut I am starting to feel massively overwhelmed by it. The past five weeks, since I decided to go, have been a massive roller coaster of ups and downs. One day I feel positive and optimistic about going, the next I wonder what the hell I am playing at.

I guess because it's getting so close now and it's becoming more real, I feel like my mind is completely out of my control. I feel detached from everything and everybody around me and I'm in a constant state of worry/anxiety/panic/depression.

I know this is a massive opportunity for me and I know if I don't go, I will regret it. I can't not go now as I've sold my car, my business, pretty much everything I own to fund this trip.

The thought of being the other side of the world, away from everything I know is just terrifying. I'm constantly asking myself, "is this the right thing?" and am having "what ifs?" running through my head constantly.

I feel like I'm not really living at the moment. I can't quite get my head around anything and I'm scared, I'm really scared

I've sort of dealt with the fact that I've got to fly for 24 hours alone (well, I think I have but I guess I'm still a tad anxious about it) but it's just the WHOLE thing that's driving me barmy!

I'm sorry for such a lengthy post. My family are fed up of me keep going on about it. They believe this is a positive experience and I should be excited etc. and I am but as an emet, other thoughts and feelings are beating the positivity and excitement away! I guess I just wanted some advice or something as I'm feeling super low and super out of control right now.

[LaurenCasey]

Oh and I'm sorry if I've posted this under the wrong bit!!

[musicfan92]

i remember reading an earlier post you made about this. where are you going to be living while you are there? if you're going to have an apartment or house, at least that way you will sort have a "safe place" to be.

one thing i'm always sure to bring with me when i travel is some advil and some tums or pepto-bismol or whatever so that way i at least have something to fall back on. just knowing i have access to this helps my anxiety. sometimes, especially in a foreign country, access to these kinds of things isn't as easy so i'm always sure to bring some with me. you could also bring some granola bars or something simple like that to eat. you should try to eat at least a little bit while you're on the plane, even if you don't want to. it's good for you and will help your stomach. if you bring some granola bars (or whatever you like), at least you know your body is used to it and you know it's safe and clean. and when you do get there, you should try some new foods or whatever looks good, but just take it slow and don't eat too much at one time.

i'm guessing the worst part of your trip will be the flying part of it, and once you get there you will be plenty busy and there will be a lot of exciting things to do. you could try to just relax and sleep on the plane, and you could even take a sleep-aid or something if you really wanted to. that should help pass the time. if you start to feel anxious on the plane (assuming it's not during take off or landing and it's safe) get up and walk around a little bit.. a lot of people do this on long plane rides. take some deep breaths and just walk around for a few minutes.

you're doing the right thing. from what i hear, Australia is an awesome country and one i would love to visit some day. i know you will have a good time; you just have to relax these next few weeks and get there. at least people in Australia speak the same language and their culture probably isn't THAT much different than what you're used to, which will help make it a little less overwhelming. also, as far as i know it's a very safe country (compared to some others) in terms of cleanliness and disease, so you have that on your side. good luck

[Asil]

Just do it and enjoy the experience. The place is absolutely amazing if i could go back i would instantly. The culture is just so laid back. Its a once in a lifetime experience so grasp it and live it. Dont let emet hold you back, you will be having so much fun over there you will probably be better anxiety wise aswell.

[minn198]

aww hun i know it must be terrifying for u but you will have an amazing time once you are there i have family and friends in Australia and they love it. im also same as u my phobia keeps me locked away with no social life and can be really lonely when you have no one to talk to about it. i think your being really brave just think u only live once and this is a experience that will stay with you forever, go for it and enjoy it!!! oh and dont forget to write on here and tell us how much fun ur having

[LaurenCasey]

Thank you guys for your lovely words It's really encouraging!

Hopefully the anxiety will reduce a little as I won't be sitting at home worrying about it, well I can hope anyway!

[JadeNight]

I have to echo what people have said above

Also I am SO JEALOUS. A trip to Australia is my life goal. So jealous you can afford it!! Enjoy every millisecond of it and tell emet to take a hike!

[LaurenCasey]

Aw thank you Believe me, I've had to sell everything but my body to fund it, haha! I'm not looking forward to coming home to NOTHING but I'll worry about that at the time.. It's my beautiful little car that I miss the most.

I am most certainly going to give it my best shot. It'll either kill me or cure me!