Need advice now, really scared!

[suzy.o]

Im scared! I have to go to court tomorrow to be key witness of an assault that happened on me and my ex boss, I work pubs and 2 customers came in biang nuicances all night, they wasnt going to leave without a fight and so we got the brunt of it, My ex boss got glassed in the face and I got pushed over a table, I ended up with bruiing on my chest.Ive become a bit agoraphobic over my phobia and I dont think I can go.I sent cps a doctors note confirming my phobia but they said I would either have to drop charges or turn up! They have arranged a video link for me in the town where I live but because I feel forsed to go I know my panic will be horrendous and my panic is 10 times worse in the mornings, Im supposed to be there at 9.30. NO WAY! Anyone any suggestions, If I dont turn up I may be arrested but I probably wont go due to my panic. Im in horror.

[Jenneh]

i really really feel for you.. and altho i feel i have no good words of encouragement or anything i had to reply.


i really hope you do make it because the last thing we want happenig is for those 2 customers to make things 10 times worse for u.,,,,


they should b punished, definitely, and if tht means u swallowing ur fears for that one morning then please push urself to do it.


promise urself something u REALLY want if u make it. like a day at a health spa... i dont know, but something big, special, that will stick in ur mind.... imagine how relaxed you will be after the court session is over and u can sepnd some time pampering urself... keep that image in mind whilst going to the court... usually it's getting there thats the problem.. once ur there hopefully the anxiety will leave u behind for a while


i wish u all the best and i'm sorr if this reply has made absolutely no sense!


Jen xxxx

[kel12347]

Hey Suzy. I've got some tips for you. First of all, the anticipatory anxiety of having to go somewhere is usually worse than actually going there. Tonight, make sure you do some relaxation and breathing techniques. Progressive muscle relaxation is very helpful. Also think of a calming phrase to say to yourself. I use "My mind is calm, my body is relaxed." Say it to yourself whenever you start to feel anxious, and repeat it over and over until you've calmed down.


Doing some relaxation in the morning may also be helpful. Bring something with you that is comforting to you (I bring gum or scented lotion). Be warned, however, that the judge probably won't let you chew gum while in the courtroom. In addition, once you get there, talk to the prosecuting attorney and tell them you have an anxiety issue, and you may need a break in the middle of the testimony. Don't feel embarrassed about asking for a few minutes to compose yourself. Letting the attorney know that you may need a break will help prepare them to assist you, as well.


Courtrooms can be scary for anyone, especially if you haven't been in one before, but what you're feeling is just anxiety....it feels awful, but it can't hurt you or kill you.

[sage]

Good advice, kel. ALSO - if you have any tranquilizers, take them! It's so soon now that you may not read this post in time, but Ativan, valium, lorazepam, xanax....IF you have a prescription for any of them. If you don't then gravol (dramamine in the USA) is a good alternative...it stops vomiting (as does lorazepam/ativan) and also relaxes you, although you may be a bit sleepy afterward.


Next time you have to face a one-time scary situation like this, get a prescription from your doctor well in advance.


Good luck! And remember - you can always let people know you have anxiety attacks and even fear of vomiting. They will help you. People really do care about other people and want to help wherever they can.


Besides, there's nothing to fear! You won't be testifying for long anyway. Just imagine your "safe place" in your mind. If you were at home, you wouldn't feel anxious or sick so.....what's the difference (at least that's what you can say to yourself)


Good luck!

[suzy.o]

Thanks Jenneh, keli and sage for helping me, you made me feel so much better,funnily enough I diddnt panic once when I got there, I waited 6 hours and they adjouned the case until next week! I told them NO WAY! It was only when I got home that I started to panic, that usually happens to me, I think I control my panic when I have to but when I relax they all come at once! Anyway, I went and thats the main thing. and thanks you lot once again. xxxx.

[swiftette]

You're very brave!!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]That is such a horrible thing to have to go threw and then be expected to relive it in court. I wish you all the best!!!Donna

[suzy.o]

Thanks Donna, Its amazing how we get through it and we always do, I wish we would realise that so we can live without the dread of impending 'doom'.