new here, glad i have a name to call this phobia

[anlashok]

hi everyone, i'm new and i'm really glad i found this forum. i'm 24 and i live in arizona.

[censored words but discussion of phobia experiences in these next two paragraphs]

for a long time, i had no idea it wasn't normal for my whole body to shake so hard i couldn't walk when i started feeling even just a little n* or s*. i thought most people would literally RUN away as fast as possible if someone in the same building as me was v* and plug my ears and close my eyes and HIDE so they couldn't find me. when i found out other people didn't do this, i just felt like something was wrong with me, especially because i would seriously prefer . now that i've known for a while that this is emetophobia, knowing there's a label and knowing there's other people who get it helps a lot.

in the last few years, my caretaker feelings have ruled out a little over my phobia, so i have SOME relief-- recently when someone i really loved was s*, i still ran away and hid in a different room, but was able to go check on them later after they were done v* and give them some help (cold washcloth for their forehead, a glass of water), even though i held my breath while doing it. i have also reached a place where i'm only afraid of humans v*, not pets. i feel like my fear of others v* (IF i know it's not contagious) is slowly getting less severe over time, but i am still VERY afraid of me v* and will do anything possible to avoid it. i can almost always force my body not to get s*. if i feel s* or like i might have eaten something bad i would ALWAYS rather have d* than v* any day (i'm not phobic about d* even though it's unpleasant) so i always try to delay delay delay and stop my body from any kind of v* impulse. it works but i could really do without the panic attacks.

i do have a history of trauma so that might be related but i'm not sure.

[end of phobia stuff]

anyway that's all for now, thanks for listening!

[anlashok]

oops sorry, don't know how to edit my above post, but what i meant to say and i guess forgot to type it was [phobia stuff] "because i seriously felt like i would prefer to die than to v*"

[Chibinarwhal]

Hi, welcome to the community! (Just so you know, I live in Arizona too, and I know at least one other person who does.) A lot of people feel the same way you do (the majority of us fear getting sick ourselves, and some also hate it when others are sick) and just think of us as someone to talk to when you're down or when you're afraid. Kind of like a support net... or something. That's really great that you helped someone out when they were sick! (I would've been halfway to Canada by then ) I spend too many of my days freaking out over nausea and stuff... Sorry about rambling on! Anyways, hi!