If anyone has read my latest posts they all seems to be revolved around my breakup, but it really is taking a toll on me as you can tell. I never usually felt the horrible need to go on here and post, but I find myself needing the help me and more and I have nobody else to turn to and it scares me...I went to Michigan to visit my friends and some family and mostly I got away to try and get away from my ex and his drama and rumors he was starting about me (sounds childish I know because it is) so I just needed to get away..... And I did it was so great I didn't feel the intense need to text him, call him or try to get his attention u think because I knew he wasn't around or close to me. (I live in AZ across the country) I felt a sense of peace even when coming back to AZ but then when I got back the feelings came straight rushing back to me again and I don't know why or how it's been THREE months since we broke up and I shouldn't want him anymore but I do and it honestly makes me stomach cwiver when I think about him. I have felt sick to my stomach...now the real question that ties this all together is am I feeling sick because I actually am sick or because of my ex....I'm so scared either way and I'm almost depressed again because I feel so sad and sick I'm not with him and he is so happy....why can't I be happy again.. I want to think of myself as the optimistic girl that can rise above anything and like it doesn't phase me but inside it kills me still.... Why can't I just get over it..:/ I can't watch myself feel this way anymore I need to stop dreading and get on with my life like he allegedly has.. But how do I do that when all my energy is focused on thinking about him... Then directly relating to my relapse of this fear.. I'm sorry for this being so long.. When I keep typing it makes me forget about my stomach... Ok I'm done and if anyone can give me advice, words of encouragement or anything feel free. Thank you