OT: Anyone here have experience applying to law school?

[rexymeteorite]

I am writing a personal statement and would appreciate a second set of eyes

the question is What experiences and influences significantly shaped who you are today and how will Willamette's program contribute to your professional development?




"Bang. The sound of the gavel rang out, and it was if I was snapped out of a dream. There I stood, a child of eight, inside a big, scary looking building, people dressed in suits all around me looking dismayed or overjoyed depending on which side they were on. I stared up at my father who was too proud to say a word to me. He looked straight forward, defiant in a way. Over the years I wanted him to say more to me in this moment, yearned for an explanation of what was happening to us, and resented him for not being a father to me. I looked over at my mother, who looked determined as ever to get me out of the hands of a man who would steal her children away from her. She stared back at me with a look of sadness and regret, and then shot a glance at my father, expressing her disgust at his behavior. Her lawyer, a blonde haired lady who stood next to her, looked at my mom as if to say “the nightmare is finally over”, and gave her an affirming pat on the back.

My sister and I were ushered into a conference room that was set up specifically for exchanges like the one my sister, my parents, and myself were about to have. My mom took my sister, a toddler at this time, and held her gently. I, on the other hand, was on the other side of the conference room, terrified about the things that I was told about my mother, and totally confused as to why I now had to live with her. We were lead out by my mothers attorney, who gave her a tearful hug goodbye. My family -- my mother, my mother’s partner, Rosanne, my two sisters and I all got in our family van and drove to our apartment complex in North Salem, Oregon -- finally beginning my path to a normal life after my parent’s divorce.
The saga that I lived in during the years I went to elementary school took a toll on me mentally. After my father kidnapped my sister and I, we both needed counseling to help us cope with what happened. With time, we both got to a point where we could finally be normal children with a normal childhood. We never had everything we wanted, but my parents gave us what we needed. My mother and her partner struggled, but nonetheless provided for us. I grew up with strife and struggle and largely got through it unscathed. All throughout my child and adulthood I would look back at that lawyer, who clapped her hand against my mom’s back and gave her reassurance all throughout the long, arduous process of trying to get her children back from across state lines and thought to myself “Without her, I would not be the man I am today”. It was during this period in my life that I decided that I wanted to become a lawyer and help people who cannot help themselves, just as the lawyer helped my mom get us back, even when the odds were stacked against her.
In 2008, after four years of floating around the adult world, migrating from job to job and trying to figure out my place on this Earth, I decided to go back to school. I applied at Chemeketa Community College and, after a few stops and starts, I ended up graduating. Against all odds, I became the first college graduate in my family, and the first one to make an attempt to earn a bachelor’s degree. After graduating from Chemeketa, I started at Western Oregon University where I began my studies in Sociology and Legal Studies. Through the years that I have been going to school at both Chemeketa and WOU, I have not only come into my own intellectually, but I have also discovered that I have the drive and passion to make my goal of becoming a lawyer a reality. Not only have I survived the college experience, I have thrived in the environment. My mother had fought for me to give me a better life, and that taught me, at an extremely young age, that I must fight for myself to secure my goals and dreams, that a future is not just discovered, but it made through hard work and dedication, strength and resolve.

Those are the exact lessons that I will bring to Willamette University School of Law if accepted. My entire life has been filled with adversity and strife, and I learned early that if one wants to achieve something, one must simply reach out and take it. While the “taking it” part is the complicated, strenuous task ahead, I have no doubt, given what I have faced in my life, that I can rise to the challenge. I will become that lawyer who gives people strength and comfort in times of stress, and I would love for Willamette to help me do just that."

Be brutal. Is it too personal? Off topic? Hows my grammar and spelling? Should I mention more about Willamette?

I would also like help building a resume if anyone has experience with that.