Let me start out with this:
Last summer my psychiatrist took me off of my anxiety medication because he thought I was getting better; as it turned out it was the worst mistake of my life. I couldn't eat, sleep, drink, or leave my bed. I developed a bad fever and the most severe dry heaving I've ever had in my life. He eventually put me back on a new pill but it's been haunting me ever since and the thought of going through it again is so bad that I need to harm myself to calm down.
But the thing is, I feel like this often because my psychiatrist always waits until the VERY LAST SECOND to give me my refill.
We call him for WEEKS, only get the answering machine every time, and it takes him over a week to give me that refill. I've asked loads of people who long it takes them to get their refill, and from the usual answer of '2-3 days' I know this isn't normal.
And to make it worse I have am million things stressing me and this just makes it worse. My stomach constantly aches from the stress and I'm always in pain. We barely see him so I can't talk to him about this; you can't just go and see him, whenever we make an appointment it's always weeks after making it. I'm seriously sitting here crying because I'm so terrified that one day he won't be at the last second and I'll go through them again. I felt the side effects of the withdrawal symptoms for few whole months after taking that new pill; I was still feverish, achey, and still had those extreme dry heaves. That's how bad I was.
I don't think I can get much help here but I really needed to vent this. I'll try my best to remember to tell him this when I see him. And before anyone asks; there is no other psychiatrist for people my age. I live on a very small island with limited medical care and until we move (which won't be for months) I'll have to go through this until next April.