Getting ahold of myself little by little...

[Tomo]

Hey I'm new to the forum, but I've been experiencing emetophobia for about 16 years, since I had my first, quite violent, v* (that I can clearly remember).

But I just wanted to talk about my little triumph of sorts that I had just tonight. I wasn't feeling too well to begin with, sorta caught a cold or mild flu from friends/family, but around 4am I started feeling a really bad n* and I thought I could just lay down and make it go away. But instead I started feeling worse, like I might v* so I tried my best to keep my cool and practiced my slow breathing, while rubbing the bridge of my nose (I don't know if it actually does anything, but I find it to be a calming motion for myself). Though the feeling didn't go away. I ended up sitting in the bathroom for about an hour, doing my breathing and nose rubbing, and keeping my anxiety down. Usually I panic way more than I did today, but I thought I did a really great job keeping myself together (when usually I'm crying and shaking uncontrollably!) and I just really felt proud of that. I even gave myself a pat on the back!
I still panicked some, and have some lingering shakes right now, but I didn't hyperventilate or sob, so this is a big triumph for me! Luckily all my feelings of n* have gone away. Now I just need to calm down enough to try and sleep, haha.

No one else I know has this problem or understands my phobia, but then I found this site and felt really happy so I thought sharing would make me feel better, and it did.

[Felle]

Well done! Xx

[shhhh]

Good stuff. I think it's important to remember your successes. Confidence and a feeling of security can only really come through building a collection of positive personal experiences and focusing on them, rather than focusing on the fear and failures. It's far too easy to forget how strong you've been and instead remember the vivid negative memories than you describe.

You did well. If or when this happens again, you should know that you're prepared to cope with it.