I keep hearing and reading about people who go through therapy and still have emet but give up trying and carry on as they are in a comforatable place for them so they just accept what is. I have been scared by reading these, I have always had pretty high self esteem, and big dreams of being a mum of 5. Getting a good job and having the life I want.
Meeting the right man and living out my days with him (being mormon we dont really do the divorce thing)
Being so in love and having kids that I raise to be good people.

Im so scared that I will not be able to do that if I settle with my phobia when it gets less. I dont want to be like that. I want to make a small deal of it. I dont want it to interfere with my life until I get sick and then I will just be ill for a couple days then get on with my life. I decided something, I decided that (again as mormon, we tend to have big families and start young my ambition is number one my 24)
I decided that as a teenager, im impatient. Always have been. I love partys. I love late nights. I love all that crap that goes on at school. I love it. With this phobia, I have not been able to do anything. I have lost every friend I ever had. I am not me anymore, and I know it. The real me would be out today. Saturday, you think I would be in bed? Nah! I would be out with a friend, my best friend. The one who I tought would always be there. I was totally wrong. I guess that its good shes gone though.
I am totally alone friend-wise. I have not a single friend anywhere in the world. I have family, but no friends. And I'm not cool with that. I am at my new school. I hate it. It is online and I need more social enviorments than that, but my phobia will simply not let me.
Then I found a song. You probably know it. Its by Jason Mraz - I wont give up. (not the reason for the title though)
In it at one point, he sings "god knows im tough enough." Then I got to thinking that this is just a lesson.
A tough one, but a valuable one. I thought, what have I learnt from this phobia? I learnt that when you dont have a phobia, you can do anything, all the doors are open. Every single on. So then I though, that sounds pretty neat right? All the doors open, millions of opurtunities. So why am I sitting here ignoring them? Sitting here feeling bad and worried and waiting until I find a cure?!
There is NO cure. No cure out there. It is all on YOU. There are books and dvd's out there that can sure as hell help you, but at the end of the day, you have to read the book, you have to want the change, you have to do it, no one else can do it for you.

Then I began thinking again, when I was 6 years old my parents split. I really didnt handle it all that well. I got expelled from a school, at the age of seven and was at a new low. I fell in with the wrong croud (haha yes of 7 year olds) and totally fell.
No one to catch me that I could see because my eyes were closed.

I have had alot of other life experiences that I share with no one and not going to write down here, too painful, but we are all pretty damn tough you wanna know why? We endure something amazing ever single day. Total fear. We are all still here. We had 'bad' days every day dont we? Compared to every one else. This was something I felt for ages but then again I got to thinking, that actually who cares how others live? What do I want? I want happiness. No phobia. Fear is fine, just not an irrational one. We all have this fear because of a bad experience of being ill, or making one up in your mind.
I know mine is made up. I have never had the experience im afriad of. Im scared of it coming though.

What im saying is, I will not settle for being 'ok' with emetophobia, because I never will be. Im way to impatient for that crap.
I think if you are saying you are ok with where you are then you have lost all hope no? There is hope out there, you ust have to find it.

I know for sure im strong enough, purely because I have dreams which are bloder than my fears. I dont know what your dreams are, but I do know there is not only hope, but certainty, that there is a way to get better. You just have to find it in yourself.

Sorry this was a very long post. Thank you for reading it though